(no subject)
Every time I'm here, I feel as if I'm posting something that has to do with why I feel so lost. Or that I want something, but can't find a way to get it. A part of me wants to change myself, and I go one that with the thought that maybe things could be better that way, or it's one less thing that I have to worry about. I'm not like other girls, and that's too clear with everything about me.
I guess I'll let things pass me by unfortunately. I don't feel like there's anything that I can do, and if there comes a time when I have to let go, I don't know if I can do that. And if I do, I know that I'm going to lose a lot, inside. I feel like most of the time, he's testing me. I feel as if he wants to know how strong I am; or what I can do as a human being. But I have to tell you, I don't think I'm that strong. I let things throw me off, easily. My determination for things are lessened. Maybe I'm not meant for certain things. I'm scared that all of the time that we spend together is going to change when someone else comes along. Is someone going to come along better than me? I hope not, because I try and be the best person that I can be, even when other people don't see that.