(no subject)
So I've decided that Juli inspires me to write. hah. But i am not sure if i started writing this story yet, but here. This is what i've got so far. I'll do it two chapters unless it's really long.
Hmmm i think Paul McCartney is on the radio, it sounds like him, and it's making me really miss my driving rain cd.
I don't think there's much else to write.
Here's my Story.
Like it. Love it. Read it. <3
Oh yes, before i depart. here is one of the funniest pictures i've seen. <3
//I love you crazy boys of Children of Bodom. :D
NOW FOR MY STORY!!!!
Writers bock... hmmm everyone gets sucked into it at times. Sometimes it lasted for only days, some other weeks, even some months, but mine was going on for years. just a year. i hadn't been able to sit down and get creative. I didn't understand what i needed to do, or where to go, or how to get my insperation. I figured i needed to live a fantasy in order to write a good book.
My short stories sucked, the plot just disapeared, leaving me with 60 pages and no where else to go. I also didn't space things out. i hurried into romance and sex and overload too many characters. And i knew my mistakes. It didn't matter though. Every story was the same mistake. the same type of characater, who just wanted love and had that special best friend and had that abusive best friend or the abusive boyfriend. They all had a serious problem with something, and they were all parentless basically, there was no rule. I guess it happened that way because that's how i wanted it in my world. They all drove cars and never payed attention in school. They were all who i wanted to be. They wore all the clothes i wish i had. They all had the piercings and tattoos and hair colors and the perfect boyfriends that i wanted. They weren't rich but they never had to work. Worst of all, and i hate myself for it, but they were all white people, who were severly in the "Goth" catigory. Which in real life, i had my white friends, but i was all over the place. I knew everyone.
and so i sit here, listening to my crappy music, in a need of a shower and a clean room, i think to myself how i'm going to start a story that everyone can relate to. and without rushing it. I'm looking for a real life story, where the kids don't stand outside before they go to school unless they're down the road smoking or at McDonalds. Where the kids don't all get along but where there is severe racism and sexism and any thing else ism. I'm thinking of a real place where kids get shot for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, where the kids get in trouble for what they look like, for who they hang out with. For who they know or don't know. I'm thinking of a place that makes people insane because they can't walk anywhere, they need a car to go everywhere. I'm talking about a place where their school is about 10 to 40 minutes away from where they live and has cameras in the parking lots and the main enterence, but in over all there are at least 30. I'm talking a place that isn't bad enough to be considered horrible, but it sure is up there.
I'm talking about Poughkeepsie. Which is a real place. No matter if this book is Fiction.
Now i just have to figure out how to make a good enough book about it. So here is my sad attempt.
History is important to everyones lives. It tells where they came from, how they got there, what it was like way back when, and how far we've come from then. It shows struggles, it shows strength, and it is something that no one really takes the time to notice while they're walking down Main Street on a cold Feburary day. Except myself i guess.
Some of the buildings have been there since the early 1800's. A lot of them aren't there anymore, or they're so different that no one can tell the difference anymore. I sometimes can't when i'm looking through pictures from the 1900's to now. I hated this town and thought to myself i might have liked it way back long a go but i wasn't sure. It was boring. But there was a lot more to do back then i realized from looking at the old pictures. Sometimes i was ashamed of this town, but then i thought to myself, it could always be worse. Poughkeepsie isn't hard core enough to be that bad. In my opinion.
That's another thing. Depending on what type of parents you have, when you're 19 you can do anything you want as long as you call and let them know you're alive all week, or you can't do anything. They freak out if you walk out of the house to grab the mail.
But still continuing down the street there are numerous stores that are useless to most teenagers, except of course the toy store, Collectors Realm. Everyone loves that store. The thing is, that a lot of stores change in the area so who knows if they'll be there in a year from now. But since i like that store, i have high hopes that it will. this is all on the left side of the street if you're coming from main street. To the right after the Elementary school is a Jewlers store and the post office. Again to the left at the end of the street is Juliets cafe; Billiards. and across the street from that, is Vassar College. I know the campus really well because i've grown up there with one of my best friend who's father is a professer there. Every summer we'd walk over from her house or mine since it's only from my house a 10 minute walk if we're walking slowly, from her house about 20 minutes because her house is behind the campus causing us to walk through the woods behind it. I haven't been to the campus lately,but my favorite place was the gardens. They were so pretty.
I wasn't walking there though. I was just wandering. Not sure where to go. I had my Zen Micro mp3 player blasting Ani Difranco, but it didn't really fit my mood. I wasn't in the mood for HIM or CKY or AFI, or Daddy Yankee or Three Days Grace, or POD or Staind. Krs1 and Outkast weren't gonna cut it either and I couldn't believe i had Armor for Sleep was even on my Zen so i decided to listen to Rage against the Machine instead. I'd recently gotten into them because i was told otherwise that the side project of them called Audio slave sucked. I knew more about music that i did about my town history. It was a passion even if i was musically challanged. It was sort of disturbing sometimes to hear old school Nsync or Back Street Boys on the radio but that's how Poughkeepsi did. haha. I suppose you should ignore my humor.
I know i've probably kept you in suspence, and you're sitting there saying, doubleyewteeeeffff, who is dis btych?!
Well i am Raelin.I've lived in this stupid town and i hate it. Well i love it but i hate it. I'm very passionate about things in my life. Like when i wanted to go see Twisted Sister in concert. That i was extremely passionate about, but i didn't get the tickets. I remember the first time i heard that song and actually remembered it. It was at my best friend Starred. It was a sunny summer night at her house and we were listening to everything. I'd heard them before but i really could apreciate it at that age. We were funny little ones.
We grew so much from then.
Like you really care about that. I headed down the street some more and ended up going into Dunken Donuts to see a friend of mine,Zorak. I'd known him for a few years and i always visited him when he was working. I walked in, warm air blasting me when i pulled open the door. I smiled seeing him working. He was adorable. When he saw me he waved me over behind the counter. The girls there looked at me like they we're going to kill me. I smiled.
"Oh my god, Rae. I didn't think you were coming. You okay?" he handed me my usual cappucino; Vanilla with tons of milky foam.
"Yah i'm alright. Sorta annoyed though." I smelled the coffee and grinned. Zadok spoiled me a lot. He had his long black hair pulled back and his big smile and green eyes were sparkling.
"Alright. The usual i'm guessing."
"Yeah. Basically. When do you get off?" i sipped the drink slowly
"7. GRRRR!"
"Really.Hmmmm. Did Starred tell you we're planning on taking a road trip come this June."
"Why june?"
"Because we're broke... That's why."
"Yeah. I love how all your plans work. You know like the plan to go to New York City and move there after high school. That one went well."
"We're saving up. We barely had any money to get the apartment here." I wondered why i was going to get myself into this with Zadok... seriously.
"Well what ever love." He went back to the register, like i wasn't even there. I wondered if he was annoyed or just playing cool. He was one of my best friends. I think that's why i dealt with his shit all these years.The funniest thing is that i met him here, in this store, and every year since i've known him he's complained about leaving, he's apparently dated all the girls or something, but he never leaves. I just laugh at him.
My phone went off and not only scared me but everyone looked at me like they'd never heard a phone go off. I looked at Zadok and pointed to the exit. He nodded and i ran out.
"Hello?" It was cold outside but sunny.
"Hey bitch. Where the fuck are you?" mmm it was my lovely Star. I smiled.
"I went to get a coffee. I'm hangin' with Zadok. Come. Come." I watched the cars fly down main street and squinted my eyes away from the blinding light coming at me.
"I'm at your house. Just pulled up. Do you remember that we were supposed to go to the mall so we could buy clothes cause i just got a huge check from What's His Face." She sounded happy and annoyed.
"Well how'd you figure out i was at my parents?"
"Because you're that obvious. Stop hoping the old days are going to come back and that all of our friends are hanging across the street at Orien's old house."
When she said that i pictured my street a few years ago, all of us like ghosts, there but transparent as the years went along. I heard us laughing, the seasons changed. Memories flooded my head. I did miss them. They were seriously the best days, even if we came home pissed off from something stupid. Of course we thought it was a big deal then. It's just one of those things i miss a lot. Like my Hello Kitty Wallet. I bought it in China town the summer of 6th grade. My mom was going all crazy with Foerign exchange students and we actually had two come stay with us, one left but the other, Annie stuck around for awhile. We talk to her occasionally over the years. She was wonderful. But that stupid wallet holds so many memories. Like my street.
"Star. I'll be up at the house in like 10 minutes. I need to grab a different shirt." When i said that she burst out laughing.
"Raeline. You are retarded sometimes. Think about what you just said!" She was still laughing a lot.
Next thing i knew, Zadok was at my side, smiling and pulling out his pack of cigaretts. I glared.
"Well i want to wear the shirt that gives me uber cleavage..." Still laughing.
Zadok didn't know what was going on but he started to laugh at that comment. Again i glared.
"Hun. We're going shopping. S. H. O. P. P. I. N. G. Which means that i'm coming to get you and we're going to the mall to get clothes."
"Hmmm alright."
"And you're not even a real blonde."
"HEYY. That was so not nice.It doesn't matter if i'm not a true blonde or not."
Zadoc was leaning agains the glass window, on his second cigarett and shook his head and laughed at me.
"What ever. I'll be there in like 2 minutes. bye."
"Bye."
I turned around and hit Zadok in the arm.
"You need to stop getting into my coversations you jack ass."
"What was that all about?"
"My hitting you?"
"No. The phone call moron."
"Star's coming to get me, we're going to the mall. I forgot i guess."
"Oh. You're not really a real blonde?" He did a sad disapointed face "I really had been hoping too. Darn."
"Grrr."
"Come here!" He stomped out his cigarett bud and yanked me over to him.
I did aso and he looked into my eyes.
"Don't ever get contacts. You're eyes are too pretty."
I blushed and smiled. I never did well with compliments.
"Thanks. You have nice eyes yourself."
He pulled me against him, i'm not sure if it was for warmth or for the fact that he just wanted to get close, but what ever the reason i did.
"Raeline. You are one of a kind. Please don't go being normal on me."
He was really beginning to worry me.
"I won't. You don't either."
"Good. Buddy."
He stared at me for a few more minutes and grabbed my face and kissed me. His mouth was warm and tasted like cheap coffee and cigaretts, but it was a nice taste.I don't know how long we kissed for, or stared at each other, but all i know is a heard a car honking and a door slammin and a best friend standing next to me.
the next thing made me laugh so hard.
"Raelin Maxine Oregard. Why are you always sucking face when we need to be somewhere important?" *insert giggle * " Oh hey Zadok."
I thought of walking to the train station. That was one of my favorite places. It was a long the Hudson river, which was beautiful to watch while the sun was setting on a sunny day. Matter of fact it was just beautiful to look at. And only to look at. If you got too close you'd want to run back away. Many people were killed in that river, or to be disposed of a killing. It wasn't that nice of a place. There was something though, about the train station that made me want to stay there, maybe to work or to have to go to work on the train. It was calm, and even the train itself was a beautiful ride. You learned a lot from riding the Metro North. Or at least i did. I didn't need to know much about school while i was on that train, and yes that might seem really random to say, but in all honesty it is true. You need street smarts to survive Poughkeepsie. I learned that too. You're probably wondering why i'm so interested in the history of this stupid little town in New York and i will tell you honestly that i am not even sure myself. All i know is what i learn from over the years. I know that if you're on Main Street and you just keep going down that road into the City of Poughkeepsie that you'll wind up near the river. And down Main Street at the intersection of Raymond, if you look to your left coming from Seitz Terrace or Van Wagner you'll find my dads used car shop. and if you look straight ahead you'll see my Elementary School a little down the street, it's big thought, but it was just Arlington Elementary until 4 years ago i believe. It was then changed to Arther. S. May. Elementary School. I thought it was so corny because the front grass area has a huge brick A. I get sad when i'm there, and i pass it a lot because down the street farther is the Cubby Hole, which is a hang out for locally not known artists of all ages to go and perform poetry and music. They make really good coffee and it's like a business version of my own room with the christmas lighs strung around and glow in the dark stars and the just relaxing feeling. It's small though and most of us who have mental parents won't let us go there on week nights because it opens at 9 and closes at 1 sometimes.