even though i'm no use to them, i do my part by simply smiling.
i can't help but to get increasingly angry at what i know is coming in the next few months. i can't help but to fear it and hide it everyday. my brother means the world to me. knowing he is going back to a place like Iraq is pure toture to me. i blame everyone I can for it no matter how wrong I know I am. I don't talk to anyone about it because I can pretend it isn't going to happen that way. I am trying to avoid thoughts of the inevitable.