You should have known (secretly, I think you knew)
So, after re-reading the post I made last year about the difficulties of house-training Kermit and how it significantly altered my opinion (read: discouraged) about adding human kids to our family, I feel like an idiot. Sure, that process was infuriating as hell. Of course I have recently had doubts about having kids. But I recognize -and I've been told by parents who've raised both- that child rearing and puppy training are two entirely different monsters. I don't owe apologies to anyone really, although I'd like to acknowledge that my perspective has changed since last September. Slight tangent- thankfully Kermit's bathroom capabilities have also drastically improved and Brian and I have been able to leave her at home for a whole work day without needing to worry about whether or not we'll come back to a soiled crate. In short I don't owe an apology to anyone but recognize that my previous post was fueled by stress and resulted in a bizarre, lacking-in-logic rant.
I do still feel really conflicted about having kids. It's still a dream of mine and I know there are so many beautiful things about that change in lifestyle. But selfishly, there's so much I enjoy about only needing to care about myself, Brian, and Kermit. Now that Kermit is a bit older, we can leave her in the house for hours at a time and go out with friends. If need be, we can board her at PetSmart when we need to go away and can't bring her with us. I can spend my money on fun things, I don't have to worry about how my actions are being mimicked or analyzed by an impressionable young brain, if I want to watch hours of video game walk-throughs on YouTube I can, and I generally get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. That's just a sampling of stupid stuff that I'm not sure that I'm ready to give up. Which makes me wonder what would have happened if we'd have jumped into having a kid or kids five years ago when I was really feeling the pull of parenthood. How would I have handled the constant sacrifices I would have faced?
Guess the answers to those questions will remain mysteries and I can focus on how ready future me (and Brian) can be when the time is right.
On a completely separate topic, I am so happy marriage equality is one GIANT step closer to being realized. It made my heart fill with so much joy to see so many rainbow flags, statuses, and posts on Facebook. I watched the news for the majority of the day last Friday to see the masses of people celebrating on the steps of the Supreme Court and around the country. After months of awful news reports we needed a win, and the LGBTQIA+ community received it just in time for NYC Pride (and Pride month in general). Love won on 6/26/15 and I hope that all the couples yearning for the privilege and right to legalized, recognized love are saying "I Do" as fast as they can, especially in the states that were still withholding that freedom.
I can't believe we're already halfway through 2015. I'm not sure how much I'll continue to keep posting but it's a nice outlet for now and I really like being able to look back snapshots from the past 15 years of my life.
I do still feel really conflicted about having kids. It's still a dream of mine and I know there are so many beautiful things about that change in lifestyle. But selfishly, there's so much I enjoy about only needing to care about myself, Brian, and Kermit. Now that Kermit is a bit older, we can leave her in the house for hours at a time and go out with friends. If need be, we can board her at PetSmart when we need to go away and can't bring her with us. I can spend my money on fun things, I don't have to worry about how my actions are being mimicked or analyzed by an impressionable young brain, if I want to watch hours of video game walk-throughs on YouTube I can, and I generally get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. That's just a sampling of stupid stuff that I'm not sure that I'm ready to give up. Which makes me wonder what would have happened if we'd have jumped into having a kid or kids five years ago when I was really feeling the pull of parenthood. How would I have handled the constant sacrifices I would have faced?
Guess the answers to those questions will remain mysteries and I can focus on how ready future me (and Brian) can be when the time is right.
On a completely separate topic, I am so happy marriage equality is one GIANT step closer to being realized. It made my heart fill with so much joy to see so many rainbow flags, statuses, and posts on Facebook. I watched the news for the majority of the day last Friday to see the masses of people celebrating on the steps of the Supreme Court and around the country. After months of awful news reports we needed a win, and the LGBTQIA+ community received it just in time for NYC Pride (and Pride month in general). Love won on 6/26/15 and I hope that all the couples yearning for the privilege and right to legalized, recognized love are saying "I Do" as fast as they can, especially in the states that were still withholding that freedom.
I can't believe we're already halfway through 2015. I'm not sure how much I'll continue to keep posting but it's a nice outlet for now and I really like being able to look back snapshots from the past 15 years of my life.