I wrote this yesterday...:-/
hey uh. leave edits and what not. GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINIONS
The room was blanketed with darkness. Opacity greater than her heart could bear. It was so dark, that although she couldn't see her hand before her face, she could vaguely see into the next realm. Her own spirit was starring back into her opal-green eyes. It moved. Its hair seemed to engulf the spirit- swallow the soul. And immediately, the girl felt it happen to her too. Her own thoughts were caging her- tormenting her. Was there a way of escape? She would have found it by now. Chills raced up her back as she felt a hand clench her shoulder. She winced. Her own infatuations were ruthlessly retaliating. Her heart pounded so furiously at the interior of her chest, she had to remind herself that no one else could hear her scream- let alone notice a heart- beat. The girl turned around with a gasp. She wasn't sure what scared her more. The thing starring into her with glowing, blood eyes or that it was grabbing her at the shoulders; digging its finger nails into her flesh. Her arms were going numb. And a half heart- beat before she inferred another breath could not be taken,
The lights turned on.
The brightness made her whole body tremble.
She finally found the courage to open her eyes. Then, blinked rapidly to remove any blur. First, she was confused. But then understanding, she allowed her heart to beat at a normal pace.
The figure in the mirror met her gaze. The one thing she hated passionately was herself. And at the moment she realized it, the silver key unlocked the hand-cuffs. Every piece fit into its rightful place.
She met Jade.
Okay, fyi: its supposed to be filled with pronouns. symbolism people...
pull it together.
The room was blanketed with darkness. Opacity greater than her heart could bear. It was so dark, that although she couldn't see her hand before her face, she could vaguely see into the next realm. Her own spirit was starring back into her opal-green eyes. It moved. Its hair seemed to engulf the spirit- swallow the soul. And immediately, the girl felt it happen to her too. Her own thoughts were caging her- tormenting her. Was there a way of escape? She would have found it by now. Chills raced up her back as she felt a hand clench her shoulder. She winced. Her own infatuations were ruthlessly retaliating. Her heart pounded so furiously at the interior of her chest, she had to remind herself that no one else could hear her scream- let alone notice a heart- beat. The girl turned around with a gasp. She wasn't sure what scared her more. The thing starring into her with glowing, blood eyes or that it was grabbing her at the shoulders; digging its finger nails into her flesh. Her arms were going numb. And a half heart- beat before she inferred another breath could not be taken,
The lights turned on.
The brightness made her whole body tremble.
She finally found the courage to open her eyes. Then, blinked rapidly to remove any blur. First, she was confused. But then understanding, she allowed her heart to beat at a normal pace.
The figure in the mirror met her gaze. The one thing she hated passionately was herself. And at the moment she realized it, the silver key unlocked the hand-cuffs. Every piece fit into its rightful place.
She met Jade.
Okay, fyi: its supposed to be filled with pronouns. symbolism people...
pull it together.