Of college and writing and me freaking out
I started freaking out today because I saw my bill for this semester of college and it's more than we had expected it to be. The plan is to use the money that my mom saved up to pay for what isn't covered by financial aid this year and to have the left over be used to start paying off my loans. With the way my dad and I had originally calculated things, I was expecting to have about $2,000 left over from my mom, but it turns out, it's really only going to be about $150...This has me worried because next year we're going to be using the money my dad has set aside, which is less than my mom had, and the actual cost of the year is going to be more expensive. I'm worried about how we're going to pay for all this and I got into one of my little 'freak-out-modes" and of course started doubting if I made the right choice about staying at my school versus going to my mom's for free. I think this is what I hate the most about all of this. I know that I won't be happy at my mom's school, but at the same time, I've grown up with her obsession over saving and having enough money and it's hard to not think that the free way would be the better choice. My dad had to come to my rescue by pretty much yelling at me and telling me that things will all work out.
There's also the whole writing thing...If you've read some of my other posts, you might've seen that I have an idea for a book, but I don't actually have much writing experience. Well, I was thinking about it a little while ago and decided that I'd probably feel more comfortable writing a book if I had more experience. The only problem with this is that I'm the kind of person who pretty much hates writing unless I have a fairly well thought out idea that I like to motivate me. So I don't really know what to do because I feel like writing something, anything really, would be beneficial, but I really don't want to do it. I had started writing something and posted it at runaway_tales, but that kind of fizzled. I lost interest in it and I kept getting distracted by ideas for the book.
I did get some more ideas ironed out today with the help of my dad, since he understands the motives behind politicians much more than I do. This was very helpful since I was trying to figure out a president's motivation to go to war with another group of people. I have to say that this was a lot harder and annoying to come up with than the whole magic system that I thought up the other day. We were talking about it during our trip to the SuperMaxi and by the time I got home, I had the whole succession of presidents figured out but my brain had turned to mush and hurt.
There's also the whole writing thing...If you've read some of my other posts, you might've seen that I have an idea for a book, but I don't actually have much writing experience. Well, I was thinking about it a little while ago and decided that I'd probably feel more comfortable writing a book if I had more experience. The only problem with this is that I'm the kind of person who pretty much hates writing unless I have a fairly well thought out idea that I like to motivate me. So I don't really know what to do because I feel like writing something, anything really, would be beneficial, but I really don't want to do it. I had started writing something and posted it at runaway_tales, but that kind of fizzled. I lost interest in it and I kept getting distracted by ideas for the book.
I did get some more ideas ironed out today with the help of my dad, since he understands the motives behind politicians much more than I do. This was very helpful since I was trying to figure out a president's motivation to go to war with another group of people. I have to say that this was a lot harder and annoying to come up with than the whole magic system that I thought up the other day. We were talking about it during our trip to the SuperMaxi and by the time I got home, I had the whole succession of presidents figured out but my brain had turned to mush and hurt.