Chicks, Dicks, and Joysticks
This entry is about questioning four things in the nerdylicious world, that all have an oddly high correlation between them:
-Video Games
-Kinky Sex (D/s especially)
-Feminism
-Misogyny
It really all begins with how you define an "intelligent/nerdy" person, and whether or not that affects sex drive or activity preferences. One of my favorite taglines is that "busy minds inspire busy behinds," and without drugs involved, generally smarter people are usually hornier people, and more naturally curious/inquizitive.
In a world where there are monetary limitations to work within, it tends to fuel a need for creativity, discovery, exploration; which has gotten to where it manifests in two distinctly major mainstay directions right now: video gaming and sex. (There's financial entanglements there, but that's another battle for another day...) Now, there's some overlap there, naturally - protagonists or "trophy" characters having some kind of sexy value, emotionally-connectable characters as opposed to abstract "everybodys."
Video gaming is not a "boys only club." I'm not saying "anymore," because the fact is, it never really was one. More guys just decided to get into it early on, that's all. Pac-Man was followed up with Ms. Pac-Man, Mario and Link were followed up with Samus (and heroines like Athena alongside)... girls in games are nothing "new and spectacular." I don't understand why that's such a deal. Leading lady chicks are sexified, sure - but leading guys are machofied too. They're all unrealistically sexy, and that's only an issue to those who will take issue with ANYTHING being sexy.
Now, kinkiness... that's one of the major sticky parts of the equation here. There's plenty of equal-ownership activities, but there's also a lot that are designed with a leader and follower(s) in mind, a state of natural inequality. Now, whether this equates to "gender values" is completely a matter of perception, but sadly, the traditional perception is that perhaps they do. And that there are only "three solutions" to "fixing" this; either totally abolishing them altogether, reversing them for the sake of influence, or restoring them to traditional roles because it is the "the right" thing.
Both video gaming and power-dynamic sex share a common factor: that sportlike rush of competition, that kind of moment that keeps them both exciting and either one from ever getting stale or old. What differenciates us (as nerdylicious peeps) on both levels is our motivations and intentions, and how tolerant of differences we are.
Like, when it comes to gaming... I like equal-skilled opponents, so if someone is game to learn, I'd gladly train another player in what I know and can execute. I may withhold a few specific tricks, but I'll show them how I ~learn~ stuff like that, so maybe they'll discover other ones. I've taken about 20 people from "can't throw a fireball" is SF to on-par players, and probably another SEVENTY through Heavy/Expert DDR or Rock Band play.
Having that equal-but-different kind of approach leads to those neck-and-neck standoff moments where anything can happen, that teeth-grinding kind of excitement that never gets old or boring. It may take some warming up to get there, but when it does - and it ALWAYS does - those moments are unforgettably qwesome, and often become recurring things in later discussions or events.
And I like my sex partners the same kind of way, but that requires a totally different kind of complimentary skill - taking what I enjoy dishing out, and dishing out what I enjoy taking; and that is a bit more naturally uneven, and thus harder to profile for. Especially when that sexual dynamic really -is- my primary motivation in pairing up, which is something smart, non-intoxicated girls are usually tired of being bombarded with in places like here. As in OKC. Or the internet. Or you know... their waking lives in general. Grrr.
Finding both in one package? Miraculous. In one way, impossibly unlikely; but in another... kind of logically inevitable too, since one could naturally inspire the other.
What's going to be right is kind of what's already happening: we all end up a hodgepodge of the approaches. This much is fine. But why are we fighting and arguing so much over them? Sure, boys didn't get called girly for liking video games, but they sure were for being nerdy. You'd expect that to "be different," but it's really not. They even get called many of the same names. (That's how uncreative haters are.) It's not as different as girls think it is, and they can get "as good as guys" at gaming (or kinky sex) the same way we all did. Playing, working up, and failing a lot until you "get it," like we did, and with help and assistance from those who've been there.
____________________
Naturally, there are some really, really unhealthy variations of this out there, however. People who live to be defeated because they're either so used to being defeated that it's their natural state of comfort, maybe those who are NEVER really defeated who like it for the novelty's sake. And then some just need a different style of dominance, being totally incapable of ever losing by bullying the crap out of others who literally are helpless and defenseless - and NOT by consent or choice, either.
There's a reason why people are concerned over the unhealthiness of perverts. Because on some level, it really does exist; there really are extremely unhealthy people out there, motivated by really wrong stuff. The crazy is real, and it is out there. But it's not the entirety of "perverts" out there. There actually is a healthy level of perversion that's perfectly harmless, and can be totally acceptable, because the people who have it are willing to own it, and not become owned by it.
____________________
So what exactly "needs" to change, except our level of honesty with one another?
I'm no fan of societal inequality or unrealistic expectations, but I'm glad that there's some degree of motivation to be an attractive person out there. And as illustrated in my previous post about sex dynamics and misogyny, I want my Player 2 to be receptive to submission in sex play but not completely mindless about it. (But certainly not an effortless winstreak in SF/KoF, haha!)
Inequality is always going to exist. It's correlation with gender has already vaporized however. Some people just take longer to realize that than others.
-Video Games
-Kinky Sex (D/s especially)
-Feminism
-Misogyny
It really all begins with how you define an "intelligent/nerdy" person, and whether or not that affects sex drive or activity preferences. One of my favorite taglines is that "busy minds inspire busy behinds," and without drugs involved, generally smarter people are usually hornier people, and more naturally curious/inquizitive.
In a world where there are monetary limitations to work within, it tends to fuel a need for creativity, discovery, exploration; which has gotten to where it manifests in two distinctly major mainstay directions right now: video gaming and sex. (There's financial entanglements there, but that's another battle for another day...) Now, there's some overlap there, naturally - protagonists or "trophy" characters having some kind of sexy value, emotionally-connectable characters as opposed to abstract "everybodys."
Video gaming is not a "boys only club." I'm not saying "anymore," because the fact is, it never really was one. More guys just decided to get into it early on, that's all. Pac-Man was followed up with Ms. Pac-Man, Mario and Link were followed up with Samus (and heroines like Athena alongside)... girls in games are nothing "new and spectacular." I don't understand why that's such a deal. Leading lady chicks are sexified, sure - but leading guys are machofied too. They're all unrealistically sexy, and that's only an issue to those who will take issue with ANYTHING being sexy.
Now, kinkiness... that's one of the major sticky parts of the equation here. There's plenty of equal-ownership activities, but there's also a lot that are designed with a leader and follower(s) in mind, a state of natural inequality. Now, whether this equates to "gender values" is completely a matter of perception, but sadly, the traditional perception is that perhaps they do. And that there are only "three solutions" to "fixing" this; either totally abolishing them altogether, reversing them for the sake of influence, or restoring them to traditional roles because it is the "the right" thing.
Both video gaming and power-dynamic sex share a common factor: that sportlike rush of competition, that kind of moment that keeps them both exciting and either one from ever getting stale or old. What differenciates us (as nerdylicious peeps) on both levels is our motivations and intentions, and how tolerant of differences we are.
Like, when it comes to gaming... I like equal-skilled opponents, so if someone is game to learn, I'd gladly train another player in what I know and can execute. I may withhold a few specific tricks, but I'll show them how I ~learn~ stuff like that, so maybe they'll discover other ones. I've taken about 20 people from "can't throw a fireball" is SF to on-par players, and probably another SEVENTY through Heavy/Expert DDR or Rock Band play.
Having that equal-but-different kind of approach leads to those neck-and-neck standoff moments where anything can happen, that teeth-grinding kind of excitement that never gets old or boring. It may take some warming up to get there, but when it does - and it ALWAYS does - those moments are unforgettably qwesome, and often become recurring things in later discussions or events.
And I like my sex partners the same kind of way, but that requires a totally different kind of complimentary skill - taking what I enjoy dishing out, and dishing out what I enjoy taking; and that is a bit more naturally uneven, and thus harder to profile for. Especially when that sexual dynamic really -is- my primary motivation in pairing up, which is something smart, non-intoxicated girls are usually tired of being bombarded with in places like here. As in OKC. Or the internet. Or you know... their waking lives in general. Grrr.
Finding both in one package? Miraculous. In one way, impossibly unlikely; but in another... kind of logically inevitable too, since one could naturally inspire the other.
What's going to be right is kind of what's already happening: we all end up a hodgepodge of the approaches. This much is fine. But why are we fighting and arguing so much over them? Sure, boys didn't get called girly for liking video games, but they sure were for being nerdy. You'd expect that to "be different," but it's really not. They even get called many of the same names. (That's how uncreative haters are.) It's not as different as girls think it is, and they can get "as good as guys" at gaming (or kinky sex) the same way we all did. Playing, working up, and failing a lot until you "get it," like we did, and with help and assistance from those who've been there.
____________________
Naturally, there are some really, really unhealthy variations of this out there, however. People who live to be defeated because they're either so used to being defeated that it's their natural state of comfort, maybe those who are NEVER really defeated who like it for the novelty's sake. And then some just need a different style of dominance, being totally incapable of ever losing by bullying the crap out of others who literally are helpless and defenseless - and NOT by consent or choice, either.
There's a reason why people are concerned over the unhealthiness of perverts. Because on some level, it really does exist; there really are extremely unhealthy people out there, motivated by really wrong stuff. The crazy is real, and it is out there. But it's not the entirety of "perverts" out there. There actually is a healthy level of perversion that's perfectly harmless, and can be totally acceptable, because the people who have it are willing to own it, and not become owned by it.
____________________
So what exactly "needs" to change, except our level of honesty with one another?
I'm no fan of societal inequality or unrealistic expectations, but I'm glad that there's some degree of motivation to be an attractive person out there. And as illustrated in my previous post about sex dynamics and misogyny, I want my Player 2 to be receptive to submission in sex play but not completely mindless about it. (But certainly not an effortless winstreak in SF/KoF, haha!)
Inequality is always going to exist. It's correlation with gender has already vaporized however. Some people just take longer to realize that than others.