(no subject)
places we've been.
...
what we fear becomes painstaking recollections of past mistakes. their echoes permeate all the details of your eyes. stifle the objections you think you need to make. flowing from you is completeness. guilt fills the void. your arms should be wrapped tight around me.
faking and feigning will get us nowhere. out with it. eyes closed and mouth full of heat i cant keep still from suffocation. craving a taste that fixes the wounds.
kisses flex their wet lips against my neck.
silent against walls of doubt and fear i ask you to be my everything. the truth is, you already are my everything. i almost cry from the beauty of it all. im not living in a place where no one can get to. im not living in a house of glass. im not drinking like i used to.
cold winds brush against our bodies pulled close under covers. hands clasped and thrushes of fingertips sweeping in varying patterns like flocks of geese against the sky.
...
looking back at the places we've been, i'm reminded that we still have a long way to go. but i'm not scared anymore. at times, i thought maybe we wouldn't make it, but those kind of thoughts aren't visiting me lately. i've almost forgotten that feeling completely.
instead, i fill myself with the things that make me happy. being with you. kissing you. talking with you. you surround me with so much happiness that i can't see anything but your love.
every day i feel more and more whole. i feel more and more like the person i'm supposed to be.
...
there's this girl i know.
transplanted into another world. daughter in tow.
but what she doesn't know is that there is a ghost that haunts her. tells her to drink. tells her to laugh so hard she can't even think.
but... regardless of what fate has offered us, we choose to reject it. we choose to make our own destiny, and the mirror reflected our dreams of one another. a foolish love of one another.
you keep your husband, i keep my wife, and all through this journey that we call life, i'll remember the future and forget the past, because all the questions we answered are asked.
yo quiero dicerte que tu eres un flor... la mas hermosa que todos. i need to tell you, you are like a flower, the prettiest of them all. though you think that luck isn't on your side, you don't need to worry. the rest of what you need will be provided for.
trust me.
(trust god.)
...
now that i see you in your fullness, i'm not suprised. we shared our deepest secrets: what we thought would be ours forever.
but the plainness of it all is enchanting, entrancing. rather, i can't keep my eyes off of it. the realization that its all that i can't have only sweetens the taste.
us blood brothers, we share the things we have, and i think i can live with that. i've been learning to live with a lot of those things.
and i know when i see you again, i'll still love you as much as i did before, i'll still want to hold you as close as i did before. but, i'll probably stop short and deny myself those indulgences because they are simply too much to handle.
this is just one more thing i can't ever tell you.
...
those hands, they touched piano keys
and your love for him kept you from kisses
that you would probably regret
and i forget the warmth of
most of the summer months
and to myself i wonder if
you'll cry in my arms again
or if i'll cry in yours
but these luminescent crests
keep me happy
and still i wonder
still i hope, for a transient reciprocation
even in the smallest gesture.
...
just turn slightly and i'll see your face...
show me that. just show me that.
...
this is what we become:
tiny footsteps of snow flakes
walking across the dead leaves of autumn
choruses of angels
are singing to a god
that answers every question
with a riddle
and in jest,
god conjectures that hell is not a place
but simply a mirror and a loaded gun.
...
narrating this story has become tiresome. the voice that speaks to me isn't god. it probably isn't even the devil.
it's nothing special. just myself.
something tells me what to write, regardless. quiet clicks and clacks echoing in the emptiness. it isnt words or movement that provoke the meaning, its... the void.
the hollow frequencies that i'm not sure even resonate against the cask of my being. what happens is that every tone that rings true presents itself as a phenomenon.
nothing quite reaches the edge. nothing quite fortifies itself as the truth. grey areas keep me guessing.
i wonder if i still love you the way you are or if im just fooling myself into happiness. (i already know the answer though, the question is so ridiculous.)
...
beyond being bluntly truthful, the raucousness of the liquid extricates the sweetest verbiences. nothing ventured, nothing gained.
...
faithfully rested, the sickness begins to overtake my body.
i tired to bury my stomach in playful imagery, but something let me wander too long.
he asked me something so simple i couldn't answer. he told me something so right, i couldn't obey.
...
i'm reminded of the places we've been.
i drove to my old elemtary school. they added a lot to it since i'd been there. sometimes, every morning i would throw up for the anticipation and fear. i don't remember exactly what we talked about. or maybe i'd rather not repeat it. we came back to the same place. you slept over me.
you said you had an out of body experience. you said you could see yourself from up above. maybe you were afraid you wouldnt come back. i thought you could read my mind.
i didn't say a word.
....
and the warmness of it all comforted me. kisses. hugs. sex.
it all comforted me.
you became me (even though we became each other).
...
(non, non, et non)
please. please.
remembering what happened. ( go away )
remembering what.... remembering. ( THIS IS FUCKING FACISM IN A FUCKING BOTTLE )
...
god forgive me
...
..
.
...
what we fear becomes painstaking recollections of past mistakes. their echoes permeate all the details of your eyes. stifle the objections you think you need to make. flowing from you is completeness. guilt fills the void. your arms should be wrapped tight around me.
faking and feigning will get us nowhere. out with it. eyes closed and mouth full of heat i cant keep still from suffocation. craving a taste that fixes the wounds.
kisses flex their wet lips against my neck.
silent against walls of doubt and fear i ask you to be my everything. the truth is, you already are my everything. i almost cry from the beauty of it all. im not living in a place where no one can get to. im not living in a house of glass. im not drinking like i used to.
cold winds brush against our bodies pulled close under covers. hands clasped and thrushes of fingertips sweeping in varying patterns like flocks of geese against the sky.
...
looking back at the places we've been, i'm reminded that we still have a long way to go. but i'm not scared anymore. at times, i thought maybe we wouldn't make it, but those kind of thoughts aren't visiting me lately. i've almost forgotten that feeling completely.
instead, i fill myself with the things that make me happy. being with you. kissing you. talking with you. you surround me with so much happiness that i can't see anything but your love.
every day i feel more and more whole. i feel more and more like the person i'm supposed to be.
...
there's this girl i know.
transplanted into another world. daughter in tow.
but what she doesn't know is that there is a ghost that haunts her. tells her to drink. tells her to laugh so hard she can't even think.
but... regardless of what fate has offered us, we choose to reject it. we choose to make our own destiny, and the mirror reflected our dreams of one another. a foolish love of one another.
you keep your husband, i keep my wife, and all through this journey that we call life, i'll remember the future and forget the past, because all the questions we answered are asked.
yo quiero dicerte que tu eres un flor... la mas hermosa que todos. i need to tell you, you are like a flower, the prettiest of them all. though you think that luck isn't on your side, you don't need to worry. the rest of what you need will be provided for.
trust me.
(trust god.)
...
now that i see you in your fullness, i'm not suprised. we shared our deepest secrets: what we thought would be ours forever.
but the plainness of it all is enchanting, entrancing. rather, i can't keep my eyes off of it. the realization that its all that i can't have only sweetens the taste.
us blood brothers, we share the things we have, and i think i can live with that. i've been learning to live with a lot of those things.
and i know when i see you again, i'll still love you as much as i did before, i'll still want to hold you as close as i did before. but, i'll probably stop short and deny myself those indulgences because they are simply too much to handle.
this is just one more thing i can't ever tell you.
...
those hands, they touched piano keys
and your love for him kept you from kisses
that you would probably regret
and i forget the warmth of
most of the summer months
and to myself i wonder if
you'll cry in my arms again
or if i'll cry in yours
but these luminescent crests
keep me happy
and still i wonder
still i hope, for a transient reciprocation
even in the smallest gesture.
...
just turn slightly and i'll see your face...
show me that. just show me that.
...
this is what we become:
tiny footsteps of snow flakes
walking across the dead leaves of autumn
choruses of angels
are singing to a god
that answers every question
with a riddle
and in jest,
god conjectures that hell is not a place
but simply a mirror and a loaded gun.
...
narrating this story has become tiresome. the voice that speaks to me isn't god. it probably isn't even the devil.
it's nothing special. just myself.
something tells me what to write, regardless. quiet clicks and clacks echoing in the emptiness. it isnt words or movement that provoke the meaning, its... the void.
the hollow frequencies that i'm not sure even resonate against the cask of my being. what happens is that every tone that rings true presents itself as a phenomenon.
nothing quite reaches the edge. nothing quite fortifies itself as the truth. grey areas keep me guessing.
i wonder if i still love you the way you are or if im just fooling myself into happiness. (i already know the answer though, the question is so ridiculous.)
...
beyond being bluntly truthful, the raucousness of the liquid extricates the sweetest verbiences. nothing ventured, nothing gained.
...
faithfully rested, the sickness begins to overtake my body.
i tired to bury my stomach in playful imagery, but something let me wander too long.
he asked me something so simple i couldn't answer. he told me something so right, i couldn't obey.
...
i'm reminded of the places we've been.
i drove to my old elemtary school. they added a lot to it since i'd been there. sometimes, every morning i would throw up for the anticipation and fear. i don't remember exactly what we talked about. or maybe i'd rather not repeat it. we came back to the same place. you slept over me.
you said you had an out of body experience. you said you could see yourself from up above. maybe you were afraid you wouldnt come back. i thought you could read my mind.
i didn't say a word.
....
and the warmness of it all comforted me. kisses. hugs. sex.
it all comforted me.
you became me (even though we became each other).
...
(non, non, et non)
please. please.
remembering what happened. ( go away )
remembering what.... remembering. ( THIS IS FUCKING FACISM IN A FUCKING BOTTLE )
...
god forgive me
...
..
.