(no subject)
Summer sprinted by...after many sordid amorous affairs I've landed in Los Angeles with a new job and apartment. I'm mostly alone at my apartment because my roommate does not leave her boyfriend's side. It's pretty disgusting. I feel I'm way too independent to ever become as lovesick as they seem. He's a vegan with a questionable sexual orientation who walked around our apartment one morning in pink tighty whities. He prefers his tight white pants and lilac T-shirts but still has long greasy hair to look like he's not trying too hard. I'm trying to be understanding and not sound like a bitch here...but it's just a weird living situation. Plus, when they came home with matching vegan shoes from a company that gives some of their proceeds to starving children in Africa...I wanted to yack.
I feel like a stranger in this town that is only 20 miles from where I grew up. Nearly all of my friends are gone: Washington, Berkeley, San Diego, China, NYC, Boston...basically anywhere but here. So I feel like I have to carve out a new life, but where does one start? Especially with my friend/roommate MIA all the time I feel like I can't go out alone and just try to make friends without seeming like some freak or prostitute. Besides I'm way broke just trying to afford living here. So somehow I find myself like a reclusive vagrant who watches a lot of DVDs and drinks a lot of wine from Trader Joes.
The Hollywood sign has become my north star helping me navigate this town but I don't really know where I'm ever trying to go.
Trying to get over a thing with a guy who has a child. Messy. Felt really nice at first. Then I freaked on him chasing him out of my apartment half naked like some crazy banshee on a full moon. That's actually a stretch for comedic effect, but it was still not pretty. I just feel so virile. I've got half the men in the office staring me down all day as I flirt with a wit they don't expect from a secretary. Isn't this supposed to be the time of our lives? I saw something once that said the love is friendship set to music. Isn't that quaintly beautiful? But who goes to bars looking for friends? If I put all the bad ones behind (the 23 year old father, the 31 year old who told me he wanted to gut me & then paint a masterpiece, my 4th grade crush who turned out to be a womanizing meathead, the friend who lied and screamed at me, the guy too depressed to care, the Belizean farmer?) can I really let somebody in who is worth it?
Now if only this young dad will stop calling me @ 1:30 in the morning. I feel like affection and attraction are so hard to distinguish at this point in life. Nobody likes sleeping alone.
I feel like a stranger in this town that is only 20 miles from where I grew up. Nearly all of my friends are gone: Washington, Berkeley, San Diego, China, NYC, Boston...basically anywhere but here. So I feel like I have to carve out a new life, but where does one start? Especially with my friend/roommate MIA all the time I feel like I can't go out alone and just try to make friends without seeming like some freak or prostitute. Besides I'm way broke just trying to afford living here. So somehow I find myself like a reclusive vagrant who watches a lot of DVDs and drinks a lot of wine from Trader Joes.
The Hollywood sign has become my north star helping me navigate this town but I don't really know where I'm ever trying to go.
Trying to get over a thing with a guy who has a child. Messy. Felt really nice at first. Then I freaked on him chasing him out of my apartment half naked like some crazy banshee on a full moon. That's actually a stretch for comedic effect, but it was still not pretty. I just feel so virile. I've got half the men in the office staring me down all day as I flirt with a wit they don't expect from a secretary. Isn't this supposed to be the time of our lives? I saw something once that said the love is friendship set to music. Isn't that quaintly beautiful? But who goes to bars looking for friends? If I put all the bad ones behind (the 23 year old father, the 31 year old who told me he wanted to gut me & then paint a masterpiece, my 4th grade crush who turned out to be a womanizing meathead, the friend who lied and screamed at me, the guy too depressed to care, the Belizean farmer?) can I really let somebody in who is worth it?
Now if only this young dad will stop calling me @ 1:30 in the morning. I feel like affection and attraction are so hard to distinguish at this point in life. Nobody likes sleeping alone.