(no subject)
What a weird point of life.
I'm tired of people dying.
I'm tired of people getting cancer.
I'm tired of reading two novels every weekend when I feel like counting my final breaths of college.
I've been ridiculous lately. Reacting instead of acting. I've now lost a phone and an id card. I'm ashamed of how many bruises I've discovered on my fucking ass. That's exactly what I've been doing lately: kicking my own ass. And then history and testosterone invade. Confusing me. I can't be with the one I really want to be with. So I don't dissuade the other four. ew. gross. I'm a good Indian girl. Grandpa thinks I have NEVER BEEN KISSED. I give so much that I'm finally starting to learn how to take, but then I feel guilty?
Kimmy is visiting tomorrow & for the entire weekend. I'm so excited. It reminds me that I really do have some amazing friends, all over the world, and suddenly that seems like the only thing that matters. Connections & understanding & laughter & new discoveries. Buoys. People that keep you afloat because they remind you of who you really are.
Maybe she'll make up for the one friend I've lost recently. People call me selfish. Then I tell them to tell me who isn't? In the past six months I've:
-been across the globe
-learned my 4th language
-nearly died in a car accident
-had a guy tell me he wanted to gut me
-lost a best friend
-lost my second mom
-read The Razer's Edge
-had my heart broken
So read that & fuck off. Because I'm way more sane that I probably should be
I'm tired of people dying.
I'm tired of people getting cancer.
I'm tired of reading two novels every weekend when I feel like counting my final breaths of college.
I've been ridiculous lately. Reacting instead of acting. I've now lost a phone and an id card. I'm ashamed of how many bruises I've discovered on my fucking ass. That's exactly what I've been doing lately: kicking my own ass. And then history and testosterone invade. Confusing me. I can't be with the one I really want to be with. So I don't dissuade the other four. ew. gross. I'm a good Indian girl. Grandpa thinks I have NEVER BEEN KISSED. I give so much that I'm finally starting to learn how to take, but then I feel guilty?
Kimmy is visiting tomorrow & for the entire weekend. I'm so excited. It reminds me that I really do have some amazing friends, all over the world, and suddenly that seems like the only thing that matters. Connections & understanding & laughter & new discoveries. Buoys. People that keep you afloat because they remind you of who you really are.
Maybe she'll make up for the one friend I've lost recently. People call me selfish. Then I tell them to tell me who isn't? In the past six months I've:
-been across the globe
-learned my 4th language
-nearly died in a car accident
-had a guy tell me he wanted to gut me
-lost a best friend
-lost my second mom
-read The Razer's Edge
-had my heart broken
So read that & fuck off. Because I'm way more sane that I probably should be