i haven't updated this thing for awhile.
last saturday i had one last get-together before school started. matt toeltl came over around 6:30, he was nice enough to spend $38.00 worth of his last paycheck on alcohol for us. which he insisted on doing, that's definitely not something i'd expect him to do. we got 2-6 packs of mike's hard lemonade and a 30 pack of beer. what kind of beer was it? i honestly don't remember. beer is beer. it was good beer though. ryan adams came over with angelo, angelo isn't my favorite person in the world and he's kind of dumb but since he was there i figured i mine as well just try and get along with him. melinda stopped by for awhile with her boyfriend matt molson and corey, and gabe came for a little bit. again i didn't appreciate the way corey was behaving last time i saw him but he was being pretty cool, and i'm not the type of person who holds a grudge against stupid shit so i forgot about it and we all had a fun time together. i missed melinda, i hadn't seen her in awhile and we danced together! but i was drunk and she had her shoes on so we fell on ryan, lol. matt was playing some of my mom's old records and then we listened to some of my cd's. they didn't stay for long, i guess matt and melinda had a movie night planned or something. shane came over with devon after they left, and matt tec stopped by for a bit. i had wanted brooke to come over earlier but she was at work, so matt toeltl and i left her some messages. she called when she was done working, so matt tec offered to go pick her up and ryan went with him. they were gone for awhile, since she works at the surf club in bemus point it was a bit of a drive. melinda had brought back my purse earlier that i left at matt's house, it was there forever lol but i had $10 and a few more dollars in change in it, everyone was hungry so i ordered us a party pizza. i had the munchies really bad by the time the pizza guy came, devon said i was acting like one of those little famine victim boys from africa seeing food for the first time...lol! well angelo was extremely intoxicated, and my mom didn't want him over here anymore at the time considering he ordered $60 worth of porn on the cable bill (actually we all did that, but we pinned full blame on him). but he also went back on my trampoline and screwed dirty hoes on it, then lied about it. so we told him to hide behind the couch whenever my mom came downstairs. well shane thought it'd be funny to pull one on him, he was like, "her mom's coming down!" so he jumped behind the couch and ending up breaking my mom's lamp apart on the way back. he just sat there like an ass laughing too while shane and me fixed it...then he wanted to burn a cd, i told him to give me a list of songs he wanted and i'd do it for him, considering he was drunk and not like he's intelligent enough to know how to use a computer anyways...which is extremely sad. he didn't listen, and went and downloaded a bunch of songs anyways, which consisted of: rob zombie, velvet revolver and mudvayne, all shit. not my music preference, since it's all nothing but noise and it sounds like people trying to vomit but they have a whistle stuck in their throat. i deleted it all, lol. moving on. i grabbed the can of glade breeze spray and was spraying everyone with it, then i was spraying it on matt toeltl's butt and under his armpits, kind of gross i know lol but we didn't know what was going on anyways. after awhile, matt gives me this blank look, "shelly, do you have any crackers?" he ate a few of those, then books it for the porch and i hear, "blaaaaaaah!". he threw up off the porch, and he was still laying out there by the time matt and ryan came back with brooke. brooke wasn't here for long...but enough that i got to visit with her for awhile. i looooooove brooke! lol. she called jill and asked if i wanted to go chill at her and justin's house for awhile, the only reason i agreed to go, matt tec said he'd go over there with us and ryan could go too. then matt changed his mind, he said he had no reason to go since he wouldn't know anybody, and he had to get up early for work the next day anyways, so i didn't blame him at all. when jill got here i found out we weren't really going to her house, it was really some frat party out in a cabin somewhere...there's no way i'd be allowed to attend some party with a bunch of strange drunk, horny guys, not like i'd want to. and anyways, they said there was only enough room in the car for me and brooke, so i just told them to go. i had guests here anyways and it would of been rude to leave them. shane's parents said devon was the only one allowed to stay there, so ryan would of had to walk home by himself drunk. brooke was angry at me and jill was going psycho, so i thought we broke friends. but we didn't, i'm glad. ryan, angelo and i went down to shane's and did some shots with devon, then went for a walk and all came back to my house. i had a talk with my mom and she forgave angelo! for now anyways, lol. we just chilled and listened to music and watched movies, then angelo, shane and devon went back to shane's and ryan and i crashed on the couch. i forgot he was here in the morning, when i woke up i just saw this little red head sticking out from under a blanket, lol. then devon and angelo came by and were pounding on the door, so we let them in. i got to listen to the three of them bicker about who's the biggest pimp, then they left and went to play football with some other friends. i had some serious cleaning to do! the whole house smelled like beer and cigarettes, and there were dirty dishes and beer cans, half of them with a few drops left filled with cigarette butts. but you know, just for the record, i know sometimes my parties get crowded and rowdy but i don't have to have a houseful of people doing drugs and drinking to have a good time. there were a few people that came and went the whole night, i have enough fun just sitting around and fucking chilling with a few close friends. honestly, those are the best times.
well, school started again on wednesday. everyone asks how it's going so far, my reply is, "meh, it's school." here's a copy of my schedule:
homeroom - 66 - mrs. weisdell
1st set - algebra survey - 311 - mrs. reilley (yes, i bombed the final last year and my final grade for the whole semester was a 62, had to take it again this year, it's not my fault mr. wu gave us a blank packet to study with, and didn't go over the answers right before the final, so basically i had nothing to study with!) but i'm happy because i have a lot of friends in the class who failed also! including billy and beth bergstrom! did you know 60% of people who take algebra survey fail it? mr. wu told us last year. (p.s. this is the only course i've ever failed in my life)
2nd set - earth science days a,b,d - 248 - mr. schrantz
phys ed - c days
3rd set - u.s. history/government - 221a - mr. krause
4a - lunch
4b - activity - 68 - ms. carlson
5th set - videography/english - 155 - hamilton-kraft/qadri
in videography we're given a choice of 5 out of 9 novels to read, and we get 2 weeks for each. we also have to hand in a summary and reflection along with a list of literary elements and specific examples for each. the group i'm with wants to have the book read by friday though. i was absent thursday because i had to go visit my dad in the hospital, so i got the leftover book choices. i have to read, "the color purple". it's a thick book, but it has short chapters and it's real easy reading. which i can't complain since all i've been hearing is the other groups complaining about what difficult reading the other books are, lol.
i got there early with heather on wednesday and friday so we could walk around. let's just say there's 2 "sexy" teachers on the 2nd floor, so she likes to walk by their rooms 100 times in the morning before homeroom, hehe. we gave the 2nd floor a new nickname, "the orgasm floor". lol. then i went to her house thursday and she showed me her senior pictures on a disc.
friday night was fun. billy and heather were here, and billy brought over some beer. he went home around midnight though which is surprisingly early for a weekend, i guess he threw up and went to pass out. heather and i went down to quality and bought a bunch of these 99 cent microwave pizzas, then came home and enjoyed pizza, beer and tv for the remainder of the night. when she fell asleep i watched garfield until i went to bed.
billy's feet smelled really bad, because he wasn't wearing socks with his shoes, and he was rubbing his feet all over so i made him put his shoes back on! ew!
moving on...about my dad. i'm sure most of you already know what happened...and it's fucked up. if you don't know, i don't feel it's necessary to mention on a public live journal. but he's in critical condition in the hospital...it happened monday night. billy and i went for a walk and we were walking up the street when we saw the ambulance pull up in front of my house. when i went inside and my mom told me what happened, i started bawling and just wanted to run away...but billy was there for me basically the whole night, and we walked around all night and talked about it. i don't know what i would of done if he wouldn't of been there to comfort me. i miss him so much...and i don't know what's going to happen...i don't even know if he's going to make it...the doctors told us only time will tell, and i'm surely not going to mention the details and procedures on him. he's my father and i love him no matter what. i don't know what i would do without all my friends and family who have been there for me...you guys are all such great people and i love you all very much <3. and thank you to everyone who is keeping him in their thoughts and prayers. dad i love you so much and i'm hoping you'll be ok...otherwise i don't know what i'm going to do.
what happened has really made me adjust my thinking...and how much i appreciate my blessings, especially the great people who are in my life. i believe a lot of things happen the way they do to make us better people...even though everyone tells me, "shelly, you're a good person and you don't deserve this." nobody does. but i need to start learning how to be more independent about things...emotionally, physically, financially. i realize there are always going to be people there to support me when i need it, but i cannot always depend on that. because life changes, and you have no control over it. sometimes people you think are always going to be there, they dissappear. people die, they move away...they grow up. i've lost a good handful of people in my life this summer...whether they've moved away, gone to college, joined the military or just dissappeared. i have a hard time letting go of my yesterdays, but if i make this a habit i'm going to miss my tomorrows. i have learned my adolescent years are a difficult time, and life is imperfect...but it's all about the choices that we make and how we learn to cope with situations. life is a gift, you could live 1 day or 100 years...and you are the only person who can decide how you'll remember your life until your last breath. learn how to be there to support your loved ones as much as they're there to support you, but most of all, learn how to support and take comfort in yourself. appreciate your blessings and don't take things for granted, because once you lose them, you'll regret it if you didn't...
**love is not forever.
friendship is not forever.
there is nothing set in stone.
you're on your own.
dad <3