(no subject)
Do you guys remember this post?
Due to the circumstances of last night, I started thinking about it again - about that time when I was questioning and I started thinking about how far I've come. It started with a talk with Eric about his views on life and ended with a talk with Ray about religion specifically. After I made that post and got so many suggestions, I did start to do research, I did start reading. Every religion I read about, I agreed with some, and disagreed with others. I read mostly about Christianity because I knew that if I did follow a religion, that would be the one I was going to follow. Then, at the suggestion of surrexi, I read Mere Christianity and was completely blown away. It affected me more than any book ever did - but not the way it was supposed to. It turned me so off of Christianity, I was actually close to disgusted with the religion.
What the book basically preached was that Christianity did give you free choice. You had to choice whether or not to believe in and love God. After that, no choice really mattered, because everything you did was going to lead you to God in the end. I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't accept that. But, I didn't realize until last night that I had actually come to a conclusion about my faith - that I had made my mind up.
I don't belong to a religion. I don't actually believe in God. I'm not an athiest by any means - at least I don't consider myself one. I have FAITH. But I think every religion out there is limiting. It doesn't give you the self power to truly decide.
If nothing else, when it comes down to it, I like to be in charge of me. I like to believe that the things I do make an impact on things, make a difference. I like to believe that the choices I make bring me in a certain direction, a random direction - nothing predetermined. I like to believe that the past is in the past, and looking forward helps more than anything else. I need to know that the consequences I experience are not to lead me in one direction or another - but their purely consequential from my decisions.
I always went around saying "I believe in God - I don't believe in the religion, but I believe in that higher entity." And after talking to Eric last night, I realized that I only say that because the thought of me spending 17 years of my life believing in that being and than all of a sudden not is scary. But...I don't. And to admit that is very freeing.
While Eric was talking about how he feels and what he believes, I realized a lot of what I believe. I still disagree with him a bit - mostly in the free choice part - but it's just so amazing.
Just sit back and reflect and think about your life. There's a...system (for lack of a better word). And, in this "system" things work out. Plain and simple. Things work out.
What Eric and I have is faith - but not so much in a higher being. It's more a belief in a higher power - but that power is within us, within each and every living being - each being has that "inner power". Eric and I believe in that inner power - I never realized I did, but it's true. I always thought it was self confidence, but it's so much more than that - it's inner belief.
Confidence is something that can be built - studying for a test builds my confidence. Trying at something and getting the result I want builds my confidence. But belief is something that is ALWAYS there - it's something that even when you fail or don't meet expectations, it's still ok. I've ALWAYS been this way - I've always had faith that I can make it work.
This isn't blind faith so much as to say "Ok, things will work out, so there's no point in trying." That's not the way it is at all. It's more along the lines of if you REALLY want something and you REALLY work for it, you'll get it. Believing in this inner power won't mean that you have to work less - it just means that the work is easier to do and the outcomes are easier to "accept".
It was really fascinating talking to Eric about this and going through my life and all the thoughts I've ever had and just putting it together like that. Like I said, it's freeing.
I have faith, more than I can possibly explain - it's just completely within myself. I have faith and belief in this "power". And, I think, to some extent, every single person does. Every single person in this world believes in this power. Some give names to it, some don't. But every single person is driven by something, motivated by it. Some religions just try to define it and put limits to it. But it's all the same thing, all the same belief - just different approaches.
So, when it gets down to it - To thine own self be true.
I'm not making this friends only right now, because I want a lot of opinions and thoughts on this, so feel free to spread. I just kind of want feed back. :)
Due to the circumstances of last night, I started thinking about it again - about that time when I was questioning and I started thinking about how far I've come. It started with a talk with Eric about his views on life and ended with a talk with Ray about religion specifically. After I made that post and got so many suggestions, I did start to do research, I did start reading. Every religion I read about, I agreed with some, and disagreed with others. I read mostly about Christianity because I knew that if I did follow a religion, that would be the one I was going to follow. Then, at the suggestion of surrexi, I read Mere Christianity and was completely blown away. It affected me more than any book ever did - but not the way it was supposed to. It turned me so off of Christianity, I was actually close to disgusted with the religion.
What the book basically preached was that Christianity did give you free choice. You had to choice whether or not to believe in and love God. After that, no choice really mattered, because everything you did was going to lead you to God in the end. I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't accept that. But, I didn't realize until last night that I had actually come to a conclusion about my faith - that I had made my mind up.
I don't belong to a religion. I don't actually believe in God. I'm not an athiest by any means - at least I don't consider myself one. I have FAITH. But I think every religion out there is limiting. It doesn't give you the self power to truly decide.
If nothing else, when it comes down to it, I like to be in charge of me. I like to believe that the things I do make an impact on things, make a difference. I like to believe that the choices I make bring me in a certain direction, a random direction - nothing predetermined. I like to believe that the past is in the past, and looking forward helps more than anything else. I need to know that the consequences I experience are not to lead me in one direction or another - but their purely consequential from my decisions.
I always went around saying "I believe in God - I don't believe in the religion, but I believe in that higher entity." And after talking to Eric last night, I realized that I only say that because the thought of me spending 17 years of my life believing in that being and than all of a sudden not is scary. But...I don't. And to admit that is very freeing.
While Eric was talking about how he feels and what he believes, I realized a lot of what I believe. I still disagree with him a bit - mostly in the free choice part - but it's just so amazing.
Just sit back and reflect and think about your life. There's a...system (for lack of a better word). And, in this "system" things work out. Plain and simple. Things work out.
What Eric and I have is faith - but not so much in a higher being. It's more a belief in a higher power - but that power is within us, within each and every living being - each being has that "inner power". Eric and I believe in that inner power - I never realized I did, but it's true. I always thought it was self confidence, but it's so much more than that - it's inner belief.
Confidence is something that can be built - studying for a test builds my confidence. Trying at something and getting the result I want builds my confidence. But belief is something that is ALWAYS there - it's something that even when you fail or don't meet expectations, it's still ok. I've ALWAYS been this way - I've always had faith that I can make it work.
This isn't blind faith so much as to say "Ok, things will work out, so there's no point in trying." That's not the way it is at all. It's more along the lines of if you REALLY want something and you REALLY work for it, you'll get it. Believing in this inner power won't mean that you have to work less - it just means that the work is easier to do and the outcomes are easier to "accept".
It was really fascinating talking to Eric about this and going through my life and all the thoughts I've ever had and just putting it together like that. Like I said, it's freeing.
I have faith, more than I can possibly explain - it's just completely within myself. I have faith and belief in this "power". And, I think, to some extent, every single person does. Every single person in this world believes in this power. Some give names to it, some don't. But every single person is driven by something, motivated by it. Some religions just try to define it and put limits to it. But it's all the same thing, all the same belief - just different approaches.
So, when it gets down to it - To thine own self be true.
I'm not making this friends only right now, because I want a lot of opinions and thoughts on this, so feel free to spread. I just kind of want feed back. :)