(no subject)
god i hate this... i feel MISERABLE! and to top it all off, nobody seems to care how i feel anymore... seriously, that's how i feel.. like i don't matter any more... tonight i felt horrible, actually, just a little bit ago... anastasia started crying when she was in her crib cus she was hungry and wet... i'm all the way towards the wall on the bed and anthony asks if i'll get her.. okay, yeah, that's fine, i guess that's "my job" now... it's always up to me to get her and feed her and change her and make sure she goes back to sleep so she can't wake everybody else up in the house... well what about me? what about my sleep? if i sleep in past like, 8ish, i'll get yelled at by my mom that i'm sleeping too long.. if i try to take a nap after everyone gets home, i get yelled at... if i'm being a bitch because i have a lack of sleep, well, "it's called being a mother"... yeah, well, in my opinion, it's called helping out... i can not do this alone.... i just can't... my mom decided to yell the other day because i supposedly haven't done anything for the past two months... well, okay, the last month i was pregnant, i was sore, tired, and sick... then after having her, i wasn't able to do anything hardly for like, 3 weeks... week four i was packing for ohio.. week five we were in ohio... so this week is basically the only week i've been able to do things and i did three loads of laundry, wash and dry, washed all the bottles (and trust me, there's a lot), washed all the dishes in the kitchen, made dinner, put it all away, straightened up the kitchen... didn't get a "oh, thank you" or a "that's really nice" or anything... nope... the next day is when she tells me i haven't done a damned thing in the house... whatever.. nobody cares to read this really anymore so there's no fucking point... i'm going to go try to get another five minutes or so of sleep....... still won't change how i feel....