And you thought girls were vindictive...
I don't know how to be friends with my ex girlfriends.
I think it's partly because I don't know how to remember the bad times. Usually when I see them, I see all the reasons why I wanted to be with them... Feelings well up quickly and I find myself wanting to be with them and wondering why it all went wrong. I find myself being angry about the boys that talk to them and the boys that they talk to me about. I'm possessive.
Mine. The happiness that they can provide was mine, not to be enjoyed by any of the jerks they meet. It is selfish, but the feeling is there.
Something got screwed up somehow, but that's okay... Things will be better next time. It's thickheadded, but the feeling is there.
And those jerks. Jerks are guys who are not better than me and don't deserve my ex girlfriends. Jerks are the guys who ARE better than me and I'm bitter about it. It's unfair, but the feeling is there.
Please, if you went out with me... Don't try to talk to me, because I probably still love you. I'm not good at disliking people that I've been with (except in some rare cases, in which case, friendship is already out of the question)
Some people hold grudges... I hold love. And it feels like I'm being betrayed when it's not returned.
That's why I want to avoid you.
I can't tell if this makes me a bad person, or a sappy person... But I do know it makes me a stupid person. I've tried to wisen up about this part of me... But I can't seem to outsmart my emotions. Improvement in this area will be slow, if at all... Sorry.
I think it's partly because I don't know how to remember the bad times. Usually when I see them, I see all the reasons why I wanted to be with them... Feelings well up quickly and I find myself wanting to be with them and wondering why it all went wrong. I find myself being angry about the boys that talk to them and the boys that they talk to me about. I'm possessive.
Mine. The happiness that they can provide was mine, not to be enjoyed by any of the jerks they meet. It is selfish, but the feeling is there.
Something got screwed up somehow, but that's okay... Things will be better next time. It's thickheadded, but the feeling is there.
And those jerks. Jerks are guys who are not better than me and don't deserve my ex girlfriends. Jerks are the guys who ARE better than me and I'm bitter about it. It's unfair, but the feeling is there.
Please, if you went out with me... Don't try to talk to me, because I probably still love you. I'm not good at disliking people that I've been with (except in some rare cases, in which case, friendship is already out of the question)
Some people hold grudges... I hold love. And it feels like I'm being betrayed when it's not returned.
That's why I want to avoid you.
I can't tell if this makes me a bad person, or a sappy person... But I do know it makes me a stupid person. I've tried to wisen up about this part of me... But I can't seem to outsmart my emotions. Improvement in this area will be slow, if at all... Sorry.