Coz I can't stop thinkin 'bout you girl <3
I don't know why but the fact that I slowly begin to get to know more and more people you had some intimacy with makes me feel stupid.
It's like I am the only one in this world who has never taken such a opportunity because I never needed such things even if I felt alone. But everyone is doing it like that..but in the end if I compare my experience with other people it's almost zero *LOL*
Perhaps it's also because I have just fallen in love twice or three times, don't know.
Nevertheless I am always worried because my bowles are saying that if you are together with someone who has so much experience and is so far away..it's easier to lose him/her. I know it's dumb and it seems that I am not trusting in him/her enough although I actually do. Hmm...I don't know either what's the real reason for such a fear or if it is really this fear or another one...Still it makes me worried anyhow...hmm...x.x too confusing...I don't know what I wanted to say with that paragraph either xDDD
ah today my favourite cousin said that she was accepted for the university in Cologne. On the one hand I am really glad for her because so she doesn't have to wait for one year but on the other hand there is this great egoism. We were never apart from eachother since we are born for more than 2 months. I will be a big change again. But to be honest I am not realizing it now..hmm...maybe later in two weeks when she moved to Cologne. ^^"
Tomorrow I will go to Poland with my cousin from Saxonia. X3 We will buy cigarittes and no idea. Let's see..but before that I am going to the dentist again. Looking forward to that as well because I have no idea what she want to do tomorrow. Hopefully she's doing my front tooth *_____* It's so ugly to see every morning ~o~ though I already got used to it. XDD
Okay I am off to bed again ^o^ Today will be short..until 1 pm *loves*
Well then good night...<3
PS. Today I noticed that I am not living my life. I don't care about it really. It's just there. I am just living for my dream which is you...and nothing more. Thinking about you every day and every night. Maybe I just love you too much but it's the way it is...and thinking about you makes me the happiest and saddest person at the same time. Thanks for being there my dear. <3
Without you I would still worry about my school life, my health and everything else in my environment...but since you are there I have dreams again. I am going to live until February...then I am back to my beautiful dream for a few days again. ♥
It's like I am the only one in this world who has never taken such a opportunity because I never needed such things even if I felt alone. But everyone is doing it like that..but in the end if I compare my experience with other people it's almost zero *LOL*
Perhaps it's also because I have just fallen in love twice or three times, don't know.
Nevertheless I am always worried because my bowles are saying that if you are together with someone who has so much experience and is so far away..it's easier to lose him/her. I know it's dumb and it seems that I am not trusting in him/her enough although I actually do. Hmm...I don't know either what's the real reason for such a fear or if it is really this fear or another one...Still it makes me worried anyhow...hmm...x.x too confusing...I don't know what I wanted to say with that paragraph either xDDD
ah today my favourite cousin said that she was accepted for the university in Cologne. On the one hand I am really glad for her because so she doesn't have to wait for one year but on the other hand there is this great egoism. We were never apart from eachother since we are born for more than 2 months. I will be a big change again. But to be honest I am not realizing it now..hmm...maybe later in two weeks when she moved to Cologne. ^^"
Tomorrow I will go to Poland with my cousin from Saxonia. X3 We will buy cigarittes and no idea. Let's see..but before that I am going to the dentist again. Looking forward to that as well because I have no idea what she want to do tomorrow. Hopefully she's doing my front tooth *_____* It's so ugly to see every morning ~o~ though I already got used to it. XDD
Okay I am off to bed again ^o^ Today will be short..until 1 pm *loves*
Well then good night...<3
PS. Today I noticed that I am not living my life. I don't care about it really. It's just there. I am just living for my dream which is you...and nothing more. Thinking about you every day and every night. Maybe I just love you too much but it's the way it is...and thinking about you makes me the happiest and saddest person at the same time. Thanks for being there my dear. <3
Without you I would still worry about my school life, my health and everything else in my environment...but since you are there I have dreams again. I am going to live until February...then I am back to my beautiful dream for a few days again. ♥