is this....
is this gonna be the rebirth of my writing??
i haven't written in so long. i miss it, truly. it's therapeutic and calming and i get to vent about shit that drives me mad.
ahhh.
this semester is so ridiculous. it's so busy and i'm struggling but it's not as bad as it could be... maybe that's a good thing... i dunno. i feel like i need something to kick my ass into high gear, or something to threaten me and open my eyes to what i could get done if i applied myself a little more. i need something to help me realize that i can do amazing things if i try. i mean, i know i'm smart, but if i worked a little more consistently, ya know, like most of my peers, instead of freaking out at the last minute and just barely pulling through, i could do so much better. i can't say if i'd be less stressed out. maybe that's it -- knowing that i would be just as busy, having a life just as hectic as ever -- maybe that's what's keeping me here. because hell, why work any harder if it's all gonna feel the same?
see. that's when i need to slap myself. hard work will pay off, damnit. i need to go practice piano and guitar. okay. here's what i'm gonna do. it's 7:48. by the time i'm done with this entry and i pee it'll probs be like, what, 8? ok. so i'll spend a half hour at the piano, and a half hour on guitar. then, ali will come get me at 9, and we'll go to Maggies. when i get back, i'll study some theory til 10 and then practice the aural skills stuff for friday's test til 11. then i'll play another 30 minutes of piano. then it'll only be 11:30. so i'll probably break to check my email and facebook and myspace and poop like that.
ok good. sounds like a plan. i'd better write this down. it's time to kick my own ass.
i haven't written in so long. i miss it, truly. it's therapeutic and calming and i get to vent about shit that drives me mad.
ahhh.
this semester is so ridiculous. it's so busy and i'm struggling but it's not as bad as it could be... maybe that's a good thing... i dunno. i feel like i need something to kick my ass into high gear, or something to threaten me and open my eyes to what i could get done if i applied myself a little more. i need something to help me realize that i can do amazing things if i try. i mean, i know i'm smart, but if i worked a little more consistently, ya know, like most of my peers, instead of freaking out at the last minute and just barely pulling through, i could do so much better. i can't say if i'd be less stressed out. maybe that's it -- knowing that i would be just as busy, having a life just as hectic as ever -- maybe that's what's keeping me here. because hell, why work any harder if it's all gonna feel the same?
see. that's when i need to slap myself. hard work will pay off, damnit. i need to go practice piano and guitar. okay. here's what i'm gonna do. it's 7:48. by the time i'm done with this entry and i pee it'll probs be like, what, 8? ok. so i'll spend a half hour at the piano, and a half hour on guitar. then, ali will come get me at 9, and we'll go to Maggies. when i get back, i'll study some theory til 10 and then practice the aural skills stuff for friday's test til 11. then i'll play another 30 minutes of piano. then it'll only be 11:30. so i'll probably break to check my email and facebook and myspace and poop like that.
ok good. sounds like a plan. i'd better write this down. it's time to kick my own ass.