When I'm Feeling Blue
With the exception of the hours between 7:30 and 9:45pm, today was a day I could really have done without.
.
After being up much of the night with a stomachache, I woke up this morning doubled over and nicely blocked up, and even after a shower I decided I was not going to be any good at work today, so I called in sick and spent the next half a day doubled over in some of the worst pain I've had in a long time.
.
Around 3:45 I got a call from admissions saying "we offered the position to some other candidates, sorry." I tried to call my parents but they were out, so I had a good short cry, put on my Sunday clothes (so to speak) and moved to the living room to contemplate the big question: What Now? After almost a year and a half of planning and hoping and trying, the job I most wanted (read: THE job I wanted) fell through, and it's not like I have others knocking down my door. I applied for five more jobs online, mostly Student Services Advisor positions, sent out a few more feeler emails, and sighed a lot. Jonathan said it took him many many applications and interviews before he got his current job, and while I'm not holding my breath (REALLY) I still haven't heard from Cinema, and Jon said it took two months for his office to notify him once. I'm not even going to get into my feelings about the rejection because I'm doing a pretty good job of bottling them up (why wasn't I chosen? What do employers have against me? How can something I want so much and would be so good at end up in rejection? Will I ever have a job, much less one I enjoy? Why is life so damned easy for everyone but me? What is the meaning of life?). Oops, there I go. OK, I'm stopping.
.
Fortunately last night Jonathan told me he had an extra ticket to see The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson tonight, and I initially declined because I simply have no money (and now not having a financial future is even more pressing...not to mention I need to write my damn thesis in the next two months and it's going to be even harder to do while continuing to look for a job). Then he told me last night that no one else could go and not to worry about the money, so I gladly accepted and promised to make it up to him in the future, which I swear I will when I finally get a job. If. I do. The play was fun; the music wasn't great but the choreography and visual gags and the character of Man in Chair were particularly enjoyable. I'm sorry I missed A Chorus Line but as I told Jon I am always willing to go see a musical and almost always willing to go see a play, and it was a really good way to get over the blues.
.
Even if when I arrived home, still without keys other than my apartment key and having forgotten the gate clicker, I waited for someone to let me in and then the fire alarm went off.
.
After being up much of the night with a stomachache, I woke up this morning doubled over and nicely blocked up, and even after a shower I decided I was not going to be any good at work today, so I called in sick and spent the next half a day doubled over in some of the worst pain I've had in a long time.
.
Around 3:45 I got a call from admissions saying "we offered the position to some other candidates, sorry." I tried to call my parents but they were out, so I had a good short cry, put on my Sunday clothes (so to speak) and moved to the living room to contemplate the big question: What Now? After almost a year and a half of planning and hoping and trying, the job I most wanted (read: THE job I wanted) fell through, and it's not like I have others knocking down my door. I applied for five more jobs online, mostly Student Services Advisor positions, sent out a few more feeler emails, and sighed a lot. Jonathan said it took him many many applications and interviews before he got his current job, and while I'm not holding my breath (REALLY) I still haven't heard from Cinema, and Jon said it took two months for his office to notify him once. I'm not even going to get into my feelings about the rejection because I'm doing a pretty good job of bottling them up (why wasn't I chosen? What do employers have against me? How can something I want so much and would be so good at end up in rejection? Will I ever have a job, much less one I enjoy? Why is life so damned easy for everyone but me? What is the meaning of life?). Oops, there I go. OK, I'm stopping.
.
Fortunately last night Jonathan told me he had an extra ticket to see The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ahmanson tonight, and I initially declined because I simply have no money (and now not having a financial future is even more pressing...not to mention I need to write my damn thesis in the next two months and it's going to be even harder to do while continuing to look for a job). Then he told me last night that no one else could go and not to worry about the money, so I gladly accepted and promised to make it up to him in the future, which I swear I will when I finally get a job. If. I do. The play was fun; the music wasn't great but the choreography and visual gags and the character of Man in Chair were particularly enjoyable. I'm sorry I missed A Chorus Line but as I told Jon I am always willing to go see a musical and almost always willing to go see a play, and it was a really good way to get over the blues.
.
Even if when I arrived home, still without keys other than my apartment key and having forgotten the gate clicker, I waited for someone to let me in and then the fire alarm went off.