Dreeeeeam
While napping today I had a dream about an activity I used to enjoy very much and haven't been able to do for almost a year (no it's not sex, sickos), and when I woke up the realism of the dream and the reality of my longing was almost tangible. I tried to go back to sleep to continue the dream, and when that didn't work I lay and thought about it for a while, until my mind filtered it out for other, more banal thoughts. Tonight I went to a website related to this activity that I haven't visited for almost the aforementioned period of time, and my stomach twisted with anxiety. Obviously I have a lot of reasons to want to get better and move back to L.A. and continue/begin my life, and this is another, very potent one. Also, one particular event from the past year means the activity would take on a whole new, even more liberating dimension for me, which would make it all the more enjoyable. Maybe I can use this in a mind over matter attack on my illness.