Are You Thinking of Me
What else can you say when the conversation you've anticipated for months for his birthday turns into a counseling session with you trying to be the big man, listening to him through his breakup with the "other man" and then having him pull the "you're young" card after you've controlled your urge to scream "STOP" for an hour?
.
What do you say when he doesn't even ask how you are, as though you never happened to him? Finding out the reminiscence and familiarity of your previous unscheduled conversation was purely a fabricated result of his alcohol intake?
.
What do you say when you find out you were, after all, one of those in-betweeners that remind someone how much they wanted someone else?
.
Did you forget about me, Mister Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner...
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you fuck him?
.
And what else can you say when you find out you still fucking love the guy after all you've been through and can't bring yourself to feel anything else about him even though it would be so easy to just let it go in anger and frustration?
.
Cause I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away.
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me...
.
But then, what's left to say when you find out that the feelings you have for someone don't follow the rules that you understand in the movies and other people's relationships, knowing you can't win but that even in truly loving someone at all you can never really lose?
.
I ought to know.
.
What do you say when he doesn't even ask how you are, as though you never happened to him? Finding out the reminiscence and familiarity of your previous unscheduled conversation was purely a fabricated result of his alcohol intake?
.
What do you say when you find out you were, after all, one of those in-betweeners that remind someone how much they wanted someone else?
.
Did you forget about me, Mister Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner...
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you fuck him?
.
And what else can you say when you find out you still fucking love the guy after all you've been through and can't bring yourself to feel anything else about him even though it would be so easy to just let it go in anger and frustration?
.
Cause I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away.
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me...
.
But then, what's left to say when you find out that the feelings you have for someone don't follow the rules that you understand in the movies and other people's relationships, knowing you can't win but that even in truly loving someone at all you can never really lose?
.
I ought to know.