And if time is on our side
We sat from across one another.
Awkward. Especially in his presence.
Mostly stemming from my guarded self.
And I know he's that kind of a reactionary individual that would put up an instinctive defensive stance.
In another time, if it had worked.
And if he didn't hurl those emotional abuses and betrayals at me, he'd probably knew about me more than himself.
I guess I'm that kind of scary.
But my cautious persona remained.
I guess some hurts just get buried over time.
Certain triggers do bring them back up to the surface however.
Yet I couldn't find that anger that I had many years back then.
It was gone.
Although, I knew I never wanted to be near those memories of toxicity.
I mean what was he thinking?
Using his professional capacity and demanding a one-on-one customer meeting to get me to sit down on a meal together.
Did he think I'm still... at this moment, that naive a person?
Sure I was young then. And yes I do have a thing for older and sensible guys.
Sure I seemed easily influenced and easily talked down upon.
Because I wasn't a combative person in nature.
Did that mean I was an easy target for your manipulation?
Did it give you the freedom to take advantage of my-then innocence and unleash your over-bearing ego upon me?
Was I an easy target to make you feel better about yourself?
Suffice to say, that meeting confirmed that some people never change.
I'm glad that I kept my professionalism.
And yes. I did pick up that tab on purpose.
Because you're no longer in control of me.
Awkward. Especially in his presence.
Mostly stemming from my guarded self.
And I know he's that kind of a reactionary individual that would put up an instinctive defensive stance.
In another time, if it had worked.
And if he didn't hurl those emotional abuses and betrayals at me, he'd probably knew about me more than himself.
I guess I'm that kind of scary.
But my cautious persona remained.
I guess some hurts just get buried over time.
Certain triggers do bring them back up to the surface however.
Yet I couldn't find that anger that I had many years back then.
It was gone.
Although, I knew I never wanted to be near those memories of toxicity.
I mean what was he thinking?
Using his professional capacity and demanding a one-on-one customer meeting to get me to sit down on a meal together.
Did he think I'm still... at this moment, that naive a person?
Sure I was young then. And yes I do have a thing for older and sensible guys.
Sure I seemed easily influenced and easily talked down upon.
Because I wasn't a combative person in nature.
Did that mean I was an easy target for your manipulation?
Did it give you the freedom to take advantage of my-then innocence and unleash your over-bearing ego upon me?
Was I an easy target to make you feel better about yourself?
Suffice to say, that meeting confirmed that some people never change.
I'm glad that I kept my professionalism.
And yes. I did pick up that tab on purpose.
Because you're no longer in control of me.