(no subject)
So. I'm not the most normal person in the universe. I'm eccentric. Yay. Apparently people like that.
I like to deal with my issues by myself. I don't like people feeling sorry for me. I don't like people worrying about me. I don't like people checking up on me like I'm some dumb littel child incapable of taking care of myself. I don't want any of that. I like my life.
SO my fucktard friends decided that this is no good. That I have 'problems' and then they try to help me. Which would be just fine, if I in fact needed it. If I had a problem I couldn't deal with I would seek help. Because I'm not fucking retarded and I know myself. These people don't. They don't knwo what I'm capapble of. They don't apparently understand taht I do in fact have the strength of will to deal with anything I need to. So now my life is turned completely upsidedown, and completely fucked up. I hate this. Figures it would happen on a Tuesday. Tuesdays always fucking suck.
SO now I feel like I have to prove that I can deal with this shit on my own. Which of course is a long involved process, because everyone has fucking gone into panic mode, and I, somewhat ironically, am calm as ever. I always want to deal with things on my terms, never ever ever on someone elses'. The fact that I now, without choice, have to do what other people want me to do, what they think is the best course of action, is absolutely disgusting to me. I'll play along, sure, but only because that is, as I see it, the shortest and easiest way to reagin complete control of my life, as I want.
What's best for other people is not what is best for all people. Everyone is different. People keep telling me I have such good friends, such good friends. No. Good friends would understand taht I will deal with things as I see fit. I do not need to be told, and will not tolerate being told what to do. They would voice their concerns, as they have, in various obnoxious ways, and then leave me the fuck alone. Furthermore, anyone who knows me knows taht I am a ceaslessly rational person. I don't do anything unless there is sound rationale for what I am doing. Though I realise I may be insane, I know exactly what reality is and I know eaxactly how I am supposed to percieve it. That's why this 'problem' as they are calling it is not , in fact, a problem. It is a minor inconvenience from time to time, which, were it to become worse, would be treated as I see fit, which again, would be based off of rational scientific thought.
They keep saying that it will get worse. Maybe. There's even a good chance of that, I'll say. But I will deal wiht that when it becomes a problem. And they keep saying that all this is just so I can get my life back to normal. NORMAL!? What the hell is normal. I liked my life. Sure it was occaisionally difficult, but I still was happy woth it. What the hell is the point in getting any kind of treatment to 'fix my life' if the treatment and the procecsses involved with it in fact destroy that life I was so content with? I worked long and hard to become what I am today and NO ONE and NO THING will take that from me. I am my own man. I will make my decisons, and live with the consequences of those decisions. They may seem irrational to some people, but honestly I could not care less what those people thought. The day I subvert my will to the whims and faults of another person, no matter how well-intentioned, will be the day I die.
I like to deal with my issues by myself. I don't like people feeling sorry for me. I don't like people worrying about me. I don't like people checking up on me like I'm some dumb littel child incapable of taking care of myself. I don't want any of that. I like my life.
SO my fucktard friends decided that this is no good. That I have 'problems' and then they try to help me. Which would be just fine, if I in fact needed it. If I had a problem I couldn't deal with I would seek help. Because I'm not fucking retarded and I know myself. These people don't. They don't knwo what I'm capapble of. They don't apparently understand taht I do in fact have the strength of will to deal with anything I need to. So now my life is turned completely upsidedown, and completely fucked up. I hate this. Figures it would happen on a Tuesday. Tuesdays always fucking suck.
SO now I feel like I have to prove that I can deal with this shit on my own. Which of course is a long involved process, because everyone has fucking gone into panic mode, and I, somewhat ironically, am calm as ever. I always want to deal with things on my terms, never ever ever on someone elses'. The fact that I now, without choice, have to do what other people want me to do, what they think is the best course of action, is absolutely disgusting to me. I'll play along, sure, but only because that is, as I see it, the shortest and easiest way to reagin complete control of my life, as I want.
What's best for other people is not what is best for all people. Everyone is different. People keep telling me I have such good friends, such good friends. No. Good friends would understand taht I will deal with things as I see fit. I do not need to be told, and will not tolerate being told what to do. They would voice their concerns, as they have, in various obnoxious ways, and then leave me the fuck alone. Furthermore, anyone who knows me knows taht I am a ceaslessly rational person. I don't do anything unless there is sound rationale for what I am doing. Though I realise I may be insane, I know exactly what reality is and I know eaxactly how I am supposed to percieve it. That's why this 'problem' as they are calling it is not , in fact, a problem. It is a minor inconvenience from time to time, which, were it to become worse, would be treated as I see fit, which again, would be based off of rational scientific thought.
They keep saying that it will get worse. Maybe. There's even a good chance of that, I'll say. But I will deal wiht that when it becomes a problem. And they keep saying that all this is just so I can get my life back to normal. NORMAL!? What the hell is normal. I liked my life. Sure it was occaisionally difficult, but I still was happy woth it. What the hell is the point in getting any kind of treatment to 'fix my life' if the treatment and the procecsses involved with it in fact destroy that life I was so content with? I worked long and hard to become what I am today and NO ONE and NO THING will take that from me. I am my own man. I will make my decisons, and live with the consequences of those decisions. They may seem irrational to some people, but honestly I could not care less what those people thought. The day I subvert my will to the whims and faults of another person, no matter how well-intentioned, will be the day I die.