*Yawn*
It's sort of funny/pathetic that I spend so much time online reading various communities and message boards and the like without ever actually contributing anything to them ^^ There are some forums I've been literally reading for years: to the point where i can easily pick out various posters and at times feel a certain camaraderie. It's like high school in that sense I guess. I spend all this time observing that I feel a part of something without ever truly being a part of it. I couldn't really say why I never actually comment or post anything other than the fear of putting myself out there and possibly creating a new set of social obligations for myself.
I think there's also the fear that people whose opinions I enjoy reading would somehow find me lacking and instead of engaging in happy stress relieving banter I'd find myself at odds or perhaps on the defensive from people I actually like. When I think back I think most of the friendships I've forged over the years have been the result of others dragging me kicking and screaming out of my self imposed isolation. I know I rarely make overtures to others on my own ^^ I think my new job has helped with that a bit. I'm literally forced into this sort of interaction and I find it very rewarding to give of myself but at the same time have a 'safety net' of saying well this is just my job and I get paid for it. I know that's crap though ^^ My job certainly doesn't require me to call people on the phone or go out of my way to cheer them up when they're down. I'd honestly say that I consider the majority of the people I work with friends to some extent. At the same time I'm not technically obligated to them beyong my normal work hours. Somehow that makes it a lot easier for me.
I'm probably just psycho or something >_>
I think there's also the fear that people whose opinions I enjoy reading would somehow find me lacking and instead of engaging in happy stress relieving banter I'd find myself at odds or perhaps on the defensive from people I actually like. When I think back I think most of the friendships I've forged over the years have been the result of others dragging me kicking and screaming out of my self imposed isolation. I know I rarely make overtures to others on my own ^^ I think my new job has helped with that a bit. I'm literally forced into this sort of interaction and I find it very rewarding to give of myself but at the same time have a 'safety net' of saying well this is just my job and I get paid for it. I know that's crap though ^^ My job certainly doesn't require me to call people on the phone or go out of my way to cheer them up when they're down. I'd honestly say that I consider the majority of the people I work with friends to some extent. At the same time I'm not technically obligated to them beyong my normal work hours. Somehow that makes it a lot easier for me.
I'm probably just psycho or something >_>