As a woman and a feminist, I do use the word. My mother also uses it. That is probably how I picked it up. We've actually had discussions about this in the past and how in our opinion the word 'cunt' is so offensive that women, especially when pointing about male ignorance about the female experience, should actively reclaim it. The fact that a woman can refer to her vagina as a 'cunt' while a man cannot takes a word which was originally used to demean women and gives her empowerment and control. It's like saying, yes, I do have a cunt, and it is not a dirty thing - it is a wonderful and beautiful cunt!
To give you an idea of context, my stepdad was saying the other day how tampons are "way bigger" than cotton used the plug a normal sized wound and my mom and I were laughing at him because he obviously (like many men) doesn't understand how tampons work. My mom was like, "The actual tampon is smaller than the applicator, how big do you think our cunts are?!"
I clarified the difference between 'cunt' and 'dick' above. I agree with you, basically, but it is still offensive to refer to rude men as 'dicks' (I mean really, think about what that means) just as it is still offensive to call a white person 'whitey'. No doubt cunt and the n word are much more offensive but to me it's just different degrees of wrong. If we're serious about changing the pattern of using such words to demean people we should be consistent imo.
Yes, it is more socially acceptable in the UK as far as I am aware? I'm sure it is still very offensive there but I always get the impression that the US is much more conservative with regards to language than other English speaking countries... You can't say many words on regular TV here (fuck, asshole, bitch, etc) but not only can you not say cunt, you probably wouldn't think to. The slur version of it is so offensive here that people don't even say it when they are being vulgar, because it is a whole other level of vulgarity. (closer to but still not on the same scale as the n word) I have actually sliped up and used it in casual conversation with peoplee I don't know well in its non-offensive way and there was like a collective gasp of air and a moment of shock from everyone else. Usually I don't use the word in polite company for that reason.
This wouldn't be the only case of word usage where you might come into conflict with other feminists though, is it? I seem to remembering you advocating the use of the word "slut", in a negative way too.
But yeah, I'd agree that, in the case of the c-word, it is something that women would need to reclaim. Whereas the demeaning history of misogyny means that it will, for now, be inappropriate whenever men use it.
I was saying elsewhere in the comments. If a term isn't used so much it can lose its force. I was wondering whether perhaps that meant that people in America would see it as more quaint than shocking since it is so rarely used. I couldn't be sure about this though. I certainly wouldn't expect the c-word to be used in polite company in the UK.
I don't think there are many issues in feminism upon which everyone agrees, lol. There are so many different specific lines of thought and arguments labeled 'feminist'.
Only if you take my calling someone a slut as being negative. I don't think of 'slutty' a bad thing. I advocate for the use of it to mean what it is meant to mean, and I disagree that the meaning is negative. I can also see how it is a word like cunt which you have to be careful about applying to people unless you know them very well and they know you mean it in an ironic or otherwise neutral way.
Example: I used to make out on the bus on the way to work with a guy who was eleven years my senior and rode the same bus route. That was pretty slutty of me and I have no regrets. I was 18, it was legal, why should we be ashamed?
Another usage would be calling my dear friend 'slut' when she doens't pick up her phone. "*beep* Slut! It's me! Pick up your phone!" Because we're young vivacious women, we laugh at insults to demean us and wear them with pride.
I don't think there are many issues in feminism upon which everyone agrees, lol.
Oh, of course. I just thought that it was worth remembering that viewing the c-word as "no big deal" is actually fairly rare for feminist women and that you've been known to refer to other similarly dodgy terms as "no big deal" in the past.
(I think the main problem I had in the previous case was the context in which you wished to use it. I follow the LJ comm "sluts 4 choice" where the term is being reclaimed somewhat, but you seemed to be advocating a negative use of the historically misogynistic term. Not that I want to start up a big argument here, of course. I'm just noting that the c-word issue is rather different because you want to remove all negative connotations in the case of the c-word.)
Example: I used to make out on the bus on the way to work with a guy who was eleven years my senior and rode the same bus route. That was pretty slutty of me and I have no regrets. I was 18, it was legal, why should we be ashamed?
The problem with this in short: Was it slutty of him?
Another usage would be calling my dear friend 'slut' when she doens't pick up her phone. "*beep* Slut! It's me! Pick up your phone!" Because we're young vivacious women, we laugh at insults to demean us and wear them with pride.
On the basis of what you were saying earlier, you could just as easily use the c-word there (because you know each other well).
You are right though, some words in America are so non-existent that they are kind of quaint. Like "wanker". How insulting is it to call someone that in the UK? In the US isn't not even really a swear, most people wouldn't raise an eyebrow at it. Or 'bloody' instead of 'damn', 'bloody' is more like 'drat' and 'oh dang' or something else too uncommon to sound really forceful.
But cunt isn't like that. We know cunt, we just find it too offensive to use most of the time.
"Wanker" is pretty insulting if it's shouted at you, yeah. Worse than "bastard", I'd say.
"Bloody" is not like "drat". "Damn" feels more like "drat" here. (I used to say "drat" when I was about 8 or 9, lol. Now that really does feel quaint.)
To give you an idea of context, my stepdad was saying the other day how tampons are "way bigger" than cotton used the plug a normal sized wound and my mom and I were laughing at him because he obviously (like many men) doesn't understand how tampons work. My mom was like, "The actual tampon is smaller than the applicator, how big do you think our cunts are?!"
I clarified the difference between 'cunt' and 'dick' above. I agree with you, basically, but it is still offensive to refer to rude men as 'dicks' (I mean really, think about what that means) just as it is still offensive to call a white person 'whitey'. No doubt cunt and the n word are much more offensive but to me it's just different degrees of wrong. If we're serious about changing the pattern of using such words to demean people we should be consistent imo.
Yes, it is more socially acceptable in the UK as far as I am aware? I'm sure it is still very offensive there but I always get the impression that the US is much more conservative with regards to language than other English speaking countries... You can't say many words on regular TV here (fuck, asshole, bitch, etc) but not only can you not say cunt, you probably wouldn't think to. The slur version of it is so offensive here that people don't even say it when they are being vulgar, because it is a whole other level of vulgarity. (closer to but still not on the same scale as the n word) I have actually sliped up and used it in casual conversation with peoplee I don't know well in its non-offensive way and there was like a collective gasp of air and a moment of shock from everyone else. Usually I don't use the word in polite company for that reason.
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This wouldn't be the only case of word usage where you might come into conflict with other feminists though, is it? I seem to remembering you advocating the use of the word "slut", in a negative way too.
But yeah, I'd agree that, in the case of the c-word, it is something that women would need to reclaim. Whereas the demeaning history of misogyny means that it will, for now, be inappropriate whenever men use it.
I was saying elsewhere in the comments. If a term isn't used so much it can lose its force. I was wondering whether perhaps that meant that people in America would see it as more quaint than shocking since it is so rarely used. I couldn't be sure about this though. I certainly wouldn't expect the c-word to be used in polite company in the UK.
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Only if you take my calling someone a slut as being negative. I don't think of 'slutty' a bad thing. I advocate for the use of it to mean what it is meant to mean, and I disagree that the meaning is negative. I can also see how it is a word like cunt which you have to be careful about applying to people unless you know them very well and they know you mean it in an ironic or otherwise neutral way.
Example: I used to make out on the bus on the way to work with a guy who was eleven years my senior and rode the same bus route. That was pretty slutty of me and I have no regrets. I was 18, it was legal, why should we be ashamed?
Another usage would be calling my dear friend 'slut' when she doens't pick up her phone. "*beep* Slut! It's me! Pick up your phone!" Because we're young vivacious women, we laugh at insults to demean us and wear them with pride.
Reply
Oh, of course. I just thought that it was worth remembering that viewing the c-word as "no big deal" is actually fairly rare for feminist women and that you've been known to refer to other similarly dodgy terms as "no big deal" in the past.
(I think the main problem I had in the previous case was the context in which you wished to use it. I follow the LJ comm "sluts 4 choice" where the term is being reclaimed somewhat, but you seemed to be advocating a negative use of the historically misogynistic term. Not that I want to start up a big argument here, of course. I'm just noting that the c-word issue is rather different because you want to remove all negative connotations in the case of the c-word.)
Example: I used to make out on the bus on the way to work with a guy who was eleven years my senior and rode the same bus route. That was pretty slutty of me and I have no regrets. I was 18, it was legal, why should we be ashamed?
The problem with this in short: Was it slutty of him?
Another usage would be calling my dear friend 'slut' when she doens't pick up her phone. "*beep* Slut! It's me! Pick up your phone!" Because we're young vivacious women, we laugh at insults to demean us and wear them with pride.
On the basis of what you were saying earlier, you could just as easily use the c-word there (because you know each other well).
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But cunt isn't like that. We know cunt, we just find it too offensive to use most of the time.
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"Bloody" is not like "drat". "Damn" feels more like "drat" here. (I used to say "drat" when I was about 8 or 9, lol. Now that really does feel quaint.)
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