Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 178
Last time, Judai fuses Neos and Yubel together in a symbolic display of how vile and twisted he is, making this final battle less a matter of Good vs. Evil and more a matter Evil vs. also Evil. And of course, Judai goes on about how the bonds he believes in are far more true than the blather "Darkness" keeps spouting on about, oblivious to how he's just as full of shit as his enemy, considering all he believes in are freaking bits of cardboard.
TITLE SCREEN! THE LAST HOPE! JUDAI YUKI we're boned.
"Darkness" laughs at the notion that Judai believes in the bonds of his friends; after all, Judai has repeatedly displayed nothing but contempt for his friends, acting like he's so much better and wiser than them, so where the hell does he get off acting like he thinks of them as equals with him? Or at least, that's what "Darkness" would say if he wasn't being written by the same clod who thinks that Judai really is a true hero and a great friend. No, he goes on about how Judai's friends have all forgotten about him, they can not hear his voice, blah blah blah. "Darkness" takes his turn, summons Darkness Necroslime, and sends it to the grave to activate its effect, special summoning Darkness Eye back from the grave in defense. Daitokuji continues to make worthless commentary, and "Darkness" activates Zero and Infinity, allowing him to activate Darkness 1, which lets him blow up a card on the opponents side of the field. But oh, how convenient, Neos Wiseman can't be destroyed by card effects. "Darkness" thinks to himself that Judai does not yet realize his true power, making me wonder what the heck's stopping him from demonstrating just what this so-called "true power" is. And now "Darkness" randomly resets all his trap cards. Judai's turn, he attacks, Darkness Eye goes boom and he recovers 1000 life points, bringing him back to 4000. Judai thinks he's got "Darkness" on the ropes, and "Darkness" mocks him for trying so hard to defeat him; one human can't change the world, ku hu hu hu, and now that its his turn, he activates the effect of the Darkness Seed he discarded two turns ago; this for some reason involves inky black tentacles puncturing "Darkness" through the back. I do not get it. Anyway, two turns after being sent to the grave, Darkness Seed special summons itself from the grave, it has a thousand attack, and it restores "Darkness" back to 4000 life points.
Great, last episode was nothing but a complete waste of time, all progress erased. Brilliant. Blah blah blah, Darkness Seed, which is an ugly plant with way too many eyeballs, restores "Darkness" to 4000 life points at the end of every turn. Blah blah blah, Judai can't win, you know this, you know my true identity...huh? Daitokuji is also confused by this, and I can't help but remember how he used to be so fucking arrogant, how he thought he knew everything 'cause he had alchemy, the pseudo-science that never accomplished anything but waste the time of delusional intellectuals. Anyway, whatever "Darkness" is going on about this time, Judai won't admit to it, but "Darkness" says it anyway, he is the future of humans. Okay...he then invites Judai to think about how much the world sucks; abnormal weather, extraordinary natural occurrences, endless disputes and terrorism...I can't help but think of Captain Planet and the Planeteers, and how there was an episode that was supposed to deal with AIDS, and what a terrible idea that was on account of how egregiously ill-equipped the show was to deal with something like that. Likewise, this show has persistently shown us that it is incapable of handling any topic of any weight without screwing it up horribly. But back to the "action" at hand, "Darkness" reaches out to Judai with a glowing hand, bright flash of light that just really seems counter for someone named "Darkness", and gasp, now everything is in ruin! Oh noes! Blah blah blah, "Darkness" proclaims this the inevitable fate of humanity and being such an unbiased source, we can totally trust him on this one. He goes on about how the humans tire of seeking out possibilities in the uncertain future, the students at Duel Academia are the same, deep in their hearts they were scared of going into the outside world, so deep that it wasn't even the slightest bit evident until I started torturing them into feeling that way.
Seriously, the end of each of the "character development arcs", while loads of bullshit, were also unreservedly optimistic and hopeful with all doubts and fears cast out. So "Darkness" here is just functioning as Shin Yoshida's sledgehammer of subtlety. Blah blah blah, Judai is just leading everyone to this ruined future, Judai's face is badly animated as he refuses to accept this, takes his turn, and attacks Darkness Seed. "Darkness" drops to 1000 life points, Judai rises to 5000, but Darkness Seed can't be destroyed in battle after being summoned from the grave by its own effect. Judai sets a card to end his turn, and "Darkness" once again goes on about how Judai's sucktacular, insufficiently sparkly friends are the source of all his power. His life points get restored back to 4000, and now he sacrifices Darkness Seed for Darkness Bramble, another plant with way too many eyeballs. Seriously, I have no idea what the hell all these plant/eyeball monsters are supposed to signify. Anyway, it has all of Darkness Seed's effects, plus it lets him confirm his face-down cards. Now he activates Zero and Infinity, gets all three cards between them, and activates Darkness 3, letting him deal 1000 points of damage per Darkness card, or 3000 total. End turn, the trap cards are all reset, Daitokuji despairs, Judai takes his turn, and before he can do anything, "Darkness" activates his traps, getting Darkness 3 and one other Darkness trap, so Judai will take 2000 points of damage and lose. Judai then asspulls the only card that could save him, Quick Summon, letting him bring out Cocoon Pantail in time to activate Cocoon Veil to sacrifice his new monster and negate all the damage he would have taken. How convenient. Oh, and he also gets to special summon Black Panther from his deck. How nice for him. Judai then declares his attack against Darkness Bramble, so Darkness decides to activate the effect of Darkness Raincrow from his hand.
When the opponent declares an attack, by sending this and the monster being attacked to the grave, he gets to summon Darkness Neosphere from his deck. Darkness Neosphere is a giant rotting plant angel with a less extreme but still present excess of eyeballs. Also, 4000 attack points. Also, it "inherits" Darkness Bramble's effect and lets "Darkness" reset his trap cards at will, so he can get whatever effect he wants now. Oh noes, Judai is in a pinch, how ever will he get out of this one?
EYECATCH!
Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says that Judai is hopeless, there is no one left to give him strength, and Judai does not care, he'll just do everything by himself like always. See, he activates Black Panther's effect to take Darkness Neosphere's name and its effect. And then he...uses his monster's new effect...to rearrange "Darkness's" trap cards. I call bullshit on that. Oh, and then Judai sets the Darkness field spell in face-down, so now "Darkness" can't activate his trap cards, and if he activates the field spell again, it'll destroy all his trap cards in the process. Buuuulllll shiiiiit! Once again, it would be hilarious if "Darkness" were to be all "Okay", he activates his field spell again, destroys his trap cards...and brings out a second set, because why would he only run one set? Oh, right, because otherwise Judai can't get his trademark victory. Daitokuji does his job of shilling for Judai, assuring us all that this was a great play, honest, and Judai sets a card to end his turn. "Darkness" then decides screw it, he'll just use Darkness Neosphere as a giant beatstick to destroy Neos Wiseman, Judai is down to 1000 life points, and then Yubel starts making noise; sie explains how when Neos Wiseman is destroyed, sie can be removed from play to bring back Neos. Blah blah blah, this is supposed to be symbolic of how sie isn't selfish anymore and is willing to sacrifice hirself for Judai, but again, as with everything involving Yubel, it is all a hideous lie. Judai does so, and out comes Neos. "Darkness" says that Judai should just give it up already, he can't win, and then Judai tries to act like a big boy, like he has any goddamn clue what growing up and facing the future no matter what it may bring. Yes, the same Judai who, every season, becomes more and more unhuman, more displaced from anything resembling the human condition, wants to deliver a lecture on facing reality head on. The irony is so thick, it amazes me that even Shin Yoshida doesn't see it.
Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says that Judai may be sparkly enough but his friends are not, Judai goes on about how he isn't strong at all, he fell into darkness and hurt his friends, and it is just beyond belief how fucking hollow and empty all of this is. But still, that whole experience did teach Judai what he could believe in...CHILDREN'S TRADING CARDS! Seriously, he is now delivering the biggest fucking "heart of the cards" speech this franchise has ever seen, proclaiming that your favorite card is the meaning of your existence. He's not joking around, this isn't a parody, this is not a deconstruction, we're supposed to take what Judai is saying about how your bonds with your cards, which are your only true friends, seriously. It is amazing how blind Shin Yoshida can be, isn't it? And then Judai starts yelling out into space to reach his friends, and calls upon them to believe in the Heart of the Cards. Blah blah blah, childrens trading cards are so fucking awesome you guys, focus on them and not your human friends, especially not any human friends who don't also play childrens card games 'cause they are so worthless like you wouldn't believe, cards are your only true friends who will support you through hard times but only if you believe in them and not puny humans, and finally he shuts up already. And of course it works, for he is Card Game Jesus, the savior of all card games everywhere. Everyone draws their favorite card and now everything is all better, because that's how life works. Flashy special effects, and now everyone in the entire world comes back, all because Judai reminded them of how important it was to believe in their cards. It is as empty and meaningless as you would think. Daitokuji makes noise, and now everyone's watching the duel. Blah blah blah, Judai will never forgive "Darkness", just like all the other people he'd said he'd never forgive and then did.
Judai's turn, he draws Fusion, he thanks his deck like its a person and the bonds he's made with it, as though we needed another reminder of how utterly non-human Judai has become, and he activates his latest trap card, Future Vision; when he controls Neos, he can send Fusion and any five monsters from his hand, field, or deck to the grave to perform a fusion summon. And what does he summon with this, the fusion of Neos and all six Neo-Spacians? God Neos. Yeah, it's as lazy as you'd imagine. Anyway, now he removes all the Neo-spacians from play to give God Neos their effects and raise its attack points by 500 for each one, so now God Neos has 6000 attack points, and with Flare Scarab's effect, that rises to 8400. He attacks, he wins, and not once was there ever any meaning, value, or tension to this duel. And this also blows away "Darkness's" hood, prompting everyone to say "LOL, goathead". Blah blah blah, "Darkness" engages in some last second shilling for how great and wise Judai is, and is all "So long as there is evil I will revive", because there's never a point where Shin Yoshida won't be a total fucking hack. Judai proclaims that so long as he's around, that'll never happen, he tries to be inclusive of his friends but that's a goddamn joke and you know it, "Darkness" goes boom, and the random solar eclipse comes to an end. End episode.
NEXT TIME! Judai has saved the entire world all by himself yet again, he bullshits about how he could only do it with everyone's belief in him, EPISODE TITLE, FAREWELL JUDAI! A TEARFUL GRADUATION CEREMONY card of the week is fucking god neos.
That was a goddamned joke, one that becomes worse when you find out that there are people stupid enough to try and compare "Darkness" and Yami Bakura. Fortunately, just two more episodes to go, and we'll be done with this trash, forever.
TITLE SCREEN! THE LAST HOPE! JUDAI YUKI we're boned.
"Darkness" laughs at the notion that Judai believes in the bonds of his friends; after all, Judai has repeatedly displayed nothing but contempt for his friends, acting like he's so much better and wiser than them, so where the hell does he get off acting like he thinks of them as equals with him? Or at least, that's what "Darkness" would say if he wasn't being written by the same clod who thinks that Judai really is a true hero and a great friend. No, he goes on about how Judai's friends have all forgotten about him, they can not hear his voice, blah blah blah. "Darkness" takes his turn, summons Darkness Necroslime, and sends it to the grave to activate its effect, special summoning Darkness Eye back from the grave in defense. Daitokuji continues to make worthless commentary, and "Darkness" activates Zero and Infinity, allowing him to activate Darkness 1, which lets him blow up a card on the opponents side of the field. But oh, how convenient, Neos Wiseman can't be destroyed by card effects. "Darkness" thinks to himself that Judai does not yet realize his true power, making me wonder what the heck's stopping him from demonstrating just what this so-called "true power" is. And now "Darkness" randomly resets all his trap cards. Judai's turn, he attacks, Darkness Eye goes boom and he recovers 1000 life points, bringing him back to 4000. Judai thinks he's got "Darkness" on the ropes, and "Darkness" mocks him for trying so hard to defeat him; one human can't change the world, ku hu hu hu, and now that its his turn, he activates the effect of the Darkness Seed he discarded two turns ago; this for some reason involves inky black tentacles puncturing "Darkness" through the back. I do not get it. Anyway, two turns after being sent to the grave, Darkness Seed special summons itself from the grave, it has a thousand attack, and it restores "Darkness" back to 4000 life points.
Great, last episode was nothing but a complete waste of time, all progress erased. Brilliant. Blah blah blah, Darkness Seed, which is an ugly plant with way too many eyeballs, restores "Darkness" to 4000 life points at the end of every turn. Blah blah blah, Judai can't win, you know this, you know my true identity...huh? Daitokuji is also confused by this, and I can't help but remember how he used to be so fucking arrogant, how he thought he knew everything 'cause he had alchemy, the pseudo-science that never accomplished anything but waste the time of delusional intellectuals. Anyway, whatever "Darkness" is going on about this time, Judai won't admit to it, but "Darkness" says it anyway, he is the future of humans. Okay...he then invites Judai to think about how much the world sucks; abnormal weather, extraordinary natural occurrences, endless disputes and terrorism...I can't help but think of Captain Planet and the Planeteers, and how there was an episode that was supposed to deal with AIDS, and what a terrible idea that was on account of how egregiously ill-equipped the show was to deal with something like that. Likewise, this show has persistently shown us that it is incapable of handling any topic of any weight without screwing it up horribly. But back to the "action" at hand, "Darkness" reaches out to Judai with a glowing hand, bright flash of light that just really seems counter for someone named "Darkness", and gasp, now everything is in ruin! Oh noes! Blah blah blah, "Darkness" proclaims this the inevitable fate of humanity and being such an unbiased source, we can totally trust him on this one. He goes on about how the humans tire of seeking out possibilities in the uncertain future, the students at Duel Academia are the same, deep in their hearts they were scared of going into the outside world, so deep that it wasn't even the slightest bit evident until I started torturing them into feeling that way.
Seriously, the end of each of the "character development arcs", while loads of bullshit, were also unreservedly optimistic and hopeful with all doubts and fears cast out. So "Darkness" here is just functioning as Shin Yoshida's sledgehammer of subtlety. Blah blah blah, Judai is just leading everyone to this ruined future, Judai's face is badly animated as he refuses to accept this, takes his turn, and attacks Darkness Seed. "Darkness" drops to 1000 life points, Judai rises to 5000, but Darkness Seed can't be destroyed in battle after being summoned from the grave by its own effect. Judai sets a card to end his turn, and "Darkness" once again goes on about how Judai's sucktacular, insufficiently sparkly friends are the source of all his power. His life points get restored back to 4000, and now he sacrifices Darkness Seed for Darkness Bramble, another plant with way too many eyeballs. Seriously, I have no idea what the hell all these plant/eyeball monsters are supposed to signify. Anyway, it has all of Darkness Seed's effects, plus it lets him confirm his face-down cards. Now he activates Zero and Infinity, gets all three cards between them, and activates Darkness 3, letting him deal 1000 points of damage per Darkness card, or 3000 total. End turn, the trap cards are all reset, Daitokuji despairs, Judai takes his turn, and before he can do anything, "Darkness" activates his traps, getting Darkness 3 and one other Darkness trap, so Judai will take 2000 points of damage and lose. Judai then asspulls the only card that could save him, Quick Summon, letting him bring out Cocoon Pantail in time to activate Cocoon Veil to sacrifice his new monster and negate all the damage he would have taken. How convenient. Oh, and he also gets to special summon Black Panther from his deck. How nice for him. Judai then declares his attack against Darkness Bramble, so Darkness decides to activate the effect of Darkness Raincrow from his hand.
When the opponent declares an attack, by sending this and the monster being attacked to the grave, he gets to summon Darkness Neosphere from his deck. Darkness Neosphere is a giant rotting plant angel with a less extreme but still present excess of eyeballs. Also, 4000 attack points. Also, it "inherits" Darkness Bramble's effect and lets "Darkness" reset his trap cards at will, so he can get whatever effect he wants now. Oh noes, Judai is in a pinch, how ever will he get out of this one?
EYECATCH!
Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says that Judai is hopeless, there is no one left to give him strength, and Judai does not care, he'll just do everything by himself like always. See, he activates Black Panther's effect to take Darkness Neosphere's name and its effect. And then he...uses his monster's new effect...to rearrange "Darkness's" trap cards. I call bullshit on that. Oh, and then Judai sets the Darkness field spell in face-down, so now "Darkness" can't activate his trap cards, and if he activates the field spell again, it'll destroy all his trap cards in the process. Buuuulllll shiiiiit! Once again, it would be hilarious if "Darkness" were to be all "Okay", he activates his field spell again, destroys his trap cards...and brings out a second set, because why would he only run one set? Oh, right, because otherwise Judai can't get his trademark victory. Daitokuji does his job of shilling for Judai, assuring us all that this was a great play, honest, and Judai sets a card to end his turn. "Darkness" then decides screw it, he'll just use Darkness Neosphere as a giant beatstick to destroy Neos Wiseman, Judai is down to 1000 life points, and then Yubel starts making noise; sie explains how when Neos Wiseman is destroyed, sie can be removed from play to bring back Neos. Blah blah blah, this is supposed to be symbolic of how sie isn't selfish anymore and is willing to sacrifice hirself for Judai, but again, as with everything involving Yubel, it is all a hideous lie. Judai does so, and out comes Neos. "Darkness" says that Judai should just give it up already, he can't win, and then Judai tries to act like a big boy, like he has any goddamn clue what growing up and facing the future no matter what it may bring. Yes, the same Judai who, every season, becomes more and more unhuman, more displaced from anything resembling the human condition, wants to deliver a lecture on facing reality head on. The irony is so thick, it amazes me that even Shin Yoshida doesn't see it.
Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says that Judai may be sparkly enough but his friends are not, Judai goes on about how he isn't strong at all, he fell into darkness and hurt his friends, and it is just beyond belief how fucking hollow and empty all of this is. But still, that whole experience did teach Judai what he could believe in...CHILDREN'S TRADING CARDS! Seriously, he is now delivering the biggest fucking "heart of the cards" speech this franchise has ever seen, proclaiming that your favorite card is the meaning of your existence. He's not joking around, this isn't a parody, this is not a deconstruction, we're supposed to take what Judai is saying about how your bonds with your cards, which are your only true friends, seriously. It is amazing how blind Shin Yoshida can be, isn't it? And then Judai starts yelling out into space to reach his friends, and calls upon them to believe in the Heart of the Cards. Blah blah blah, childrens trading cards are so fucking awesome you guys, focus on them and not your human friends, especially not any human friends who don't also play childrens card games 'cause they are so worthless like you wouldn't believe, cards are your only true friends who will support you through hard times but only if you believe in them and not puny humans, and finally he shuts up already. And of course it works, for he is Card Game Jesus, the savior of all card games everywhere. Everyone draws their favorite card and now everything is all better, because that's how life works. Flashy special effects, and now everyone in the entire world comes back, all because Judai reminded them of how important it was to believe in their cards. It is as empty and meaningless as you would think. Daitokuji makes noise, and now everyone's watching the duel. Blah blah blah, Judai will never forgive "Darkness", just like all the other people he'd said he'd never forgive and then did.
Judai's turn, he draws Fusion, he thanks his deck like its a person and the bonds he's made with it, as though we needed another reminder of how utterly non-human Judai has become, and he activates his latest trap card, Future Vision; when he controls Neos, he can send Fusion and any five monsters from his hand, field, or deck to the grave to perform a fusion summon. And what does he summon with this, the fusion of Neos and all six Neo-Spacians? God Neos. Yeah, it's as lazy as you'd imagine. Anyway, now he removes all the Neo-spacians from play to give God Neos their effects and raise its attack points by 500 for each one, so now God Neos has 6000 attack points, and with Flare Scarab's effect, that rises to 8400. He attacks, he wins, and not once was there ever any meaning, value, or tension to this duel. And this also blows away "Darkness's" hood, prompting everyone to say "LOL, goathead". Blah blah blah, "Darkness" engages in some last second shilling for how great and wise Judai is, and is all "So long as there is evil I will revive", because there's never a point where Shin Yoshida won't be a total fucking hack. Judai proclaims that so long as he's around, that'll never happen, he tries to be inclusive of his friends but that's a goddamn joke and you know it, "Darkness" goes boom, and the random solar eclipse comes to an end. End episode.
NEXT TIME! Judai has saved the entire world all by himself yet again, he bullshits about how he could only do it with everyone's belief in him, EPISODE TITLE, FAREWELL JUDAI! A TEARFUL GRADUATION CEREMONY card of the week is fucking god neos.
That was a goddamned joke, one that becomes worse when you find out that there are people stupid enough to try and compare "Darkness" and Yami Bakura. Fortunately, just two more episodes to go, and we'll be done with this trash, forever.