Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 177
Once again, Johan is confused about how the solar eclipse has not come to an end despite the complete and total lack of any sort of setup for this having been caused by "Darkness". Seriously, wouldn't it have been hilarious if it turned out the eclipse was just a coincidence, and was going to be over in just a couple of minutes anyway? Probably why Shin Yoshida rejected it, not wangsty enough. Johan collapses, blah blah blah, is nothing going to change, and then a deep voice rumbles from within the school. Johan tells Judai to go investigate while he watches over Seaweed Hair, Judai does so, and he finds three monitors that are randomly keyed to pictures of New York, London, and Sydney. A cursory glance at these three pictures is sufficient to convince Judai that everyone in the entire world has vanished, and because he is Gary-Stu, it is so. Really, this reminds of nothing so much as this one episode of Johnny Bravo where Johnny, upon seeing his clock has stopped, immediately concludes that time has stopped for everyone and everything but himself. Now the voice speaks, telling Judai that its high time this whole inane plotline was brought to an end, and Judai has no clue who the voice is. So, you can immediately figure out that everyone in the entire world has vanished despite grossly insufficient evidence, but you can't leap to the conclusion of who's behind it all? Typical Judai, really.
TITLE SCREEN! THE COMBO OF TERROR! ZERO AND INFINITY! the real terror is that this show lasted as long as it has.
Pharaoh and Daitokuji randomly show up after being absent for over a dozen episodes at this point. Gosh, maybe now Daitokuji will do something really important, something that would justify his continuing to be in the world of the living, despite being a spirit of the dead who didn't belong in the world of the living, as established in the incredibly beautiful and moving finale of the original series. And maybe Shin Yoshida will get a goddamn clue some day. Judai runs out and finds that Johan and Seaweed Hair are gone; again, the hilarious follow-up is that it turned out Johan just dragged Seaweed Hair so as to molest him. Well, I think that would have been hilarious. Anyway, Daitokuji tells Judai to look at the eclipse, Judai goes blind because any idiot could tell you that looking directly at an eclipse without special eyewear is a great way to burn your eyes out...no, it just starts expanding. And Judai is confused, he thought it was just an eclipse, making me wonder why the fuck he thought it was so damn significant then! The voice then speaks to Judai, the time has come, and to show that I am capable of giving credit where credit is due, I like this voice. It says that it is "Darkness", Judai had merely defeated a small piece of itself, and now it will show Judai its true form. Now, you'd think that with a name like "Dakness", its true form would be just that, an infinite void of darkness that an all-powerful, all-knowing voice speaks out of. But you think that because unlike Shin Yoshida, you are smart. Instead, cheesy special effects, and "Darkness" is Death from Castlevania. Look, I know that the real life card game is produced by Konami, but this is still a really weak nod to your corporate masters. Blah blah blah, "Darkness" is the truth of the other world, and Daitokuji can sense the souls of everyone on earth trapped within the eclipse. Just like how Castlevania was sealed away inside the solar eclipse of 1999 in Aria of Sorrow!
Blah blah blah, Judai demands to know what "Darkness" wants with everyone, and "Darkness" explains that it doesn't want anything, it has no desire, it is merely following Shin Yoshida's incredibly skewed perspective on the truth of the world. It was inevitable for everyone to enter his world, "Darkness" says, Judai refuses to believe such drivel, "Darkness" says that Judai is oblivious to the pain of his friends, which is true, and now he will show him what he's talking about. "Dakness" shoots a beam at Judai's head, a fast-paced montage of the badly written and contrived wangst-fics that Shin Yoshida has the rest of the cast trapped in, the World of "Darkness" is a cheap and lazy rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project, and then apropos of absolutely nothing, "Darkness" casually drops a bombshell; in the beginning, there was a card. Yes, that's right, according to Yugioh GX, Childrens Card Games, created existence. This is not a joke, this is not a parody, this is not a deconstruction or reconstruction or what the fuck ever, it is just ludicrous and bad writing. Blah blah blah, creation of Earth, creation of Humans, retcon about the origin of Duel Monsters abounds, and apparently "therefore, Duel Monsters was a touchstone to test the souls of humans", though how the hell that's supposed to follow, I've no idea. Blah blah blah, it's all the stupid humans fault in the first for being so dark and depressed and not sparkly like they should have been, and then Judai pulls out the Yubel eyes to put an end to the incredibly tedious retcon exposition of Shin Yoshida bullshit. "Darkness" keeps going on about how it's natural for his world to replace the human world, comparing it to how water flows from a high place to a low place. "Darkness" then proclaims itself a savior, and all I can hear in my head is "A Day in Dracula's Life". Blah blah blah, you can't stop the inevitable, "Darkness" was just getting rid of the "pebbles in the stream" so to speak, like manufacturing all the wangst for his entire spiel to even begin to work.
Flashback to Saiou saying "Seriously, you guys, all these unrelated events were totes building up towards Darkness being the final boss, u guiz, seriusly!", "Darkness" says those with great power were taken over by their darkness and misused Duel Monsters, especially Judai, but Judai proclaims he didn't fall into darkness to awaken a freak like "Darkness". No, you fell into darkness to randomly commit genocide, kill a bunch of your friends, and then forgive a psychotic monster who didn't have so much as an once of regret in hir entire body. Yeah, that's so much better than what "Darkness" is saying. No, Judai says he gained that power to stop stuff like "Darkness", flashes Supreme King Eyes, then Yubel eyes. "Darkness" says that being a fusion of a human soul and a Duel Monsters spirit, Judai can't enter his world, Judai says he'll stop him, "Darkness" says he'll just get rid of Judai...with a Children's Card Game! You know, as opposed to just stepping on Judai and squashing him like a bug. The way Zorc Necorphades would have done. Judai arms his duel disc, "Darkness" manifests five wings, Judai's all "so that is your duel disc" as though this was of any significance whatsoever, and Daitokuji cringes in fear and is all "Judai, Judai, this guy is totes way diffrint from everyone else you've dueled, evar!". Who wants to bet that "Darkness" will be exactly like everyone Judai has ever dueled, ever? Everyone? Good, you'll win that bet, and I'll have nothing left afterwards. "Darkness" blah blah blahs, and the sight of this giant goat-headed monster holding cards in his hand is just fucking hilarious. It makes me really glad that in the GX manga, Tragoedia keeps using Principal McKenzies body for dueling, as opposed to trying to play Duel Monsters while being a giant monster himself. This is of course because unlike Shin Yoshida, Naoyuki Kageyama both cares about his story and is a good writer. And now the duel begins.
"Darkness" goes first, summons Darkness Eye, which is a big freaking disembodied eyeball on a stalk with zero attack points, and then he plays the Field Spell card, Darkness. This turns his wings dark, and lets him set five cards from his hand or deck. ZOMG, he just filled up all his spell/trap zones! Judai is shocked, this is unprecedented! Judai's turn, he summons Sparkman, declares his attack, and "Darkness" activates his trap card, Zero! This lets him activate another trap card, Infinity! With both these cards activated, he can now activate every trap card in between them, and so he activates his third permanent trap card, Darkness 1. Thus, with Zero and Infinity activated, Darkness 1 will destroy one monster for every Darkness card activated. It is the only one, so Sparkman goes boom. Thus, "Darkness" demands that Judai carve it into his soul, the duel of a God! And now I can't stop thinking about Valkyrie Profile, and how much better that was than this drivel.
EYECATCH!
Repeat of the last five seconds, and then Judai pulls out a brand new card right out of his ass, Relationship; this lets Judai special summon an Elemental Hero with the same attack points as the monster that was just destroyed, so out comes Necro Darkman in defense. And then Judai sets Hero Barrier to end his turn. Daitokuji floats on by to say nothing of any worth, and "Darkness" says that in accordance with his field spell, his trap cards will be randomly reset at the end of every turn. He takes his turn, and activates the effect of Darkness Eye, letting him summon a monster without sacrifice, so he brings out Darkness Destroyer, a monster with so much shit piled onto it, there's no way they can properly animate it. I swear, I feel like I'm looking at the Samurai Ha-Oh from Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, that's how ridiculously overburdened this monster is. Anyway, Darkness Destroyer has 2300 attack points, pierces defense, and can attack twice. Daitokuji moans that its all over if "Darkness" destroys" his monster like before, Judai points out that his cards have been randomly reset, what are the odds, pretty good, as "Darkness" activates Zero and Infinity no problem. All three of his remaining traps are between them, so all three get activated, and the first one to go off is Darkness 2, so now Darkness Destroyer will gain 1000 attack points for every Darkness card that was just activated, for 3000 points total. Blah blah blah, 5300 attack points, oh noes! Badly animated attack, Daitokuji despairs, and Judai activates Hero Barrier to negate the first attack. But here comes the second attack, Necro Darkman is destroyed, and now Judai is down to 500 life points. Also, Judai screams like a total drama queen. "Darkness" says Judai should just give up already, he's all alone now, there's no one left to believe in him, Judai says he doesn't care if he's all alone, and for the first fucking time all season, Yubel decides to speak up.
Blah blah blah, inane banter that tries to gloss over the fact that Yubel was an unrepentant psychopath when Judai decided to forgive hir for no good reason, Judai will never be alone so long as sie is around, what a wonderfully warped thing to say, and Judai proclaims that since there is a non-human depraved, psychotic, monstrous and solipstic spirit that believes in him and couldn't give a shit about the rest of the world, he has the strength to stand. Not exactly "The Power of Friendship", is it? Anyway, "Darkness" randomly resets his trap cards, Darkness Destroyer drops back down to 2300, Judai's turn, he uses Necro Darkman's effect to summon Neos without sacrifice, Darkness Eye swirls, Yubel tells Judai to act now, and Judai activates super-convenient asspull card #2, Effect Shut. This negates a monster's effect and destroys it, so Darkness Eye goes boom, blah blah blah, "Darkness" was using Darkness Eye's effect to confirm what his face-down cards were, "Darkness" tries anyway and gets Darkness 1, so he is screwed, and Darkness Destroyer is destroyed for 200 points of damage. Judai sets a card, and ends his turn. "Darkness" has his trap cards reset on him, "Darkness" proclaims that it will take Yubel away from Judai, and so he summons Darkness Outsider, which is a creepy clown mask on springs with zero attack points. By discarding a card from his hand, Darkness Outsider takes a monster from the opponent's deck and special summons it to his side of the field. Darkness Outsider's mask opens up, tentacles spring out, grab Judai, and "Darkness" discards Darkness Seed to take control of Yubel. And now Yubel is being torn away from his precious Judai while being tentacle raped. That makes me unspeakably happy, and I only wish this moment could last forever. Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says he'll finish Judai off with Yubel, Yubel is forced to attack...
And Judai activates asspull card #3, Astral Shift; this changes Yubel's attack to a direct one, and then lets Judai draw one card. Boy, it sure is convenient that "Darkness" didn't do something silly like grab Edgmean, or Magma Neos, or any other monster that this trap would have been completely useless against. Funny that. Blah blah blah, Judai swears to get back the monster that killed millions, tortured his friends, brutally murdered Amon Garam and Echo, and guilt tripped Judai into thinking that he was the one who done wrong in all that. This is supposed to be heartwarming and moving. The only warmth I feel is in my stomach, the only movement towards retching. And now "Darkness" special summons Darkness Slime since all his monsters have zero attack points. It is in defense, copies Neos's stats in reverse, so it has 2500 defense, and Judai blathers on about how strong the bond between him and Yubel is, how it lets him overlook all the horrific atrocities sie committed for no reason at all, how even though sie has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever he'll never abandon hir, and in the most trite, cliche move possible, ha plays Super Fusion, discarding Winged Kuriboh to fuse Neos and Yubel together. Cheap special effects abound, and out comes Neos Wiseman. This is supposed to be symbolic of how Yubel no longer hates Neos or some shit like that, but no sensible person would give a fuck about that drivel. Blah blah blah, it has 3000 attack points, inflicts damage equal to the attack power of the monster it battles, and Judai recovers life equal to its defense. Neos Wiseman attacks and destroys Darkness Slime with laser beam spam, Judai's up to 3000 life points while "Darkness" is down to 1800 life points, and Judai spouts off on how great and powerful and wonderful the bond between him and his psychotic, obsessive spirit is. Also, he's going to save everyone in the whole wide world, all by himself. End episode.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, Yubel goes on and on about what a better person Judai is thanks to hir, I go smash my head against a knife rack, EPISODE TITLE, THE LAST HOPE! JUDAI YUKI card of the week is neos wiseman
The only decent thing about this episode is the voice they chose for "Darkness". Everything else, from writing to characterization to the duel choreography? All rubbish, every last bit of it.
TITLE SCREEN! THE COMBO OF TERROR! ZERO AND INFINITY! the real terror is that this show lasted as long as it has.
Pharaoh and Daitokuji randomly show up after being absent for over a dozen episodes at this point. Gosh, maybe now Daitokuji will do something really important, something that would justify his continuing to be in the world of the living, despite being a spirit of the dead who didn't belong in the world of the living, as established in the incredibly beautiful and moving finale of the original series. And maybe Shin Yoshida will get a goddamn clue some day. Judai runs out and finds that Johan and Seaweed Hair are gone; again, the hilarious follow-up is that it turned out Johan just dragged Seaweed Hair so as to molest him. Well, I think that would have been hilarious. Anyway, Daitokuji tells Judai to look at the eclipse, Judai goes blind because any idiot could tell you that looking directly at an eclipse without special eyewear is a great way to burn your eyes out...no, it just starts expanding. And Judai is confused, he thought it was just an eclipse, making me wonder why the fuck he thought it was so damn significant then! The voice then speaks to Judai, the time has come, and to show that I am capable of giving credit where credit is due, I like this voice. It says that it is "Darkness", Judai had merely defeated a small piece of itself, and now it will show Judai its true form. Now, you'd think that with a name like "Dakness", its true form would be just that, an infinite void of darkness that an all-powerful, all-knowing voice speaks out of. But you think that because unlike Shin Yoshida, you are smart. Instead, cheesy special effects, and "Darkness" is Death from Castlevania. Look, I know that the real life card game is produced by Konami, but this is still a really weak nod to your corporate masters. Blah blah blah, "Darkness" is the truth of the other world, and Daitokuji can sense the souls of everyone on earth trapped within the eclipse. Just like how Castlevania was sealed away inside the solar eclipse of 1999 in Aria of Sorrow!
Blah blah blah, Judai demands to know what "Darkness" wants with everyone, and "Darkness" explains that it doesn't want anything, it has no desire, it is merely following Shin Yoshida's incredibly skewed perspective on the truth of the world. It was inevitable for everyone to enter his world, "Darkness" says, Judai refuses to believe such drivel, "Darkness" says that Judai is oblivious to the pain of his friends, which is true, and now he will show him what he's talking about. "Dakness" shoots a beam at Judai's head, a fast-paced montage of the badly written and contrived wangst-fics that Shin Yoshida has the rest of the cast trapped in, the World of "Darkness" is a cheap and lazy rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project, and then apropos of absolutely nothing, "Darkness" casually drops a bombshell; in the beginning, there was a card. Yes, that's right, according to Yugioh GX, Childrens Card Games, created existence. This is not a joke, this is not a parody, this is not a deconstruction or reconstruction or what the fuck ever, it is just ludicrous and bad writing. Blah blah blah, creation of Earth, creation of Humans, retcon about the origin of Duel Monsters abounds, and apparently "therefore, Duel Monsters was a touchstone to test the souls of humans", though how the hell that's supposed to follow, I've no idea. Blah blah blah, it's all the stupid humans fault in the first for being so dark and depressed and not sparkly like they should have been, and then Judai pulls out the Yubel eyes to put an end to the incredibly tedious retcon exposition of Shin Yoshida bullshit. "Darkness" keeps going on about how it's natural for his world to replace the human world, comparing it to how water flows from a high place to a low place. "Darkness" then proclaims itself a savior, and all I can hear in my head is "A Day in Dracula's Life". Blah blah blah, you can't stop the inevitable, "Darkness" was just getting rid of the "pebbles in the stream" so to speak, like manufacturing all the wangst for his entire spiel to even begin to work.
Flashback to Saiou saying "Seriously, you guys, all these unrelated events were totes building up towards Darkness being the final boss, u guiz, seriusly!", "Darkness" says those with great power were taken over by their darkness and misused Duel Monsters, especially Judai, but Judai proclaims he didn't fall into darkness to awaken a freak like "Darkness". No, you fell into darkness to randomly commit genocide, kill a bunch of your friends, and then forgive a psychotic monster who didn't have so much as an once of regret in hir entire body. Yeah, that's so much better than what "Darkness" is saying. No, Judai says he gained that power to stop stuff like "Darkness", flashes Supreme King Eyes, then Yubel eyes. "Darkness" says that being a fusion of a human soul and a Duel Monsters spirit, Judai can't enter his world, Judai says he'll stop him, "Darkness" says he'll just get rid of Judai...with a Children's Card Game! You know, as opposed to just stepping on Judai and squashing him like a bug. The way Zorc Necorphades would have done. Judai arms his duel disc, "Darkness" manifests five wings, Judai's all "so that is your duel disc" as though this was of any significance whatsoever, and Daitokuji cringes in fear and is all "Judai, Judai, this guy is totes way diffrint from everyone else you've dueled, evar!". Who wants to bet that "Darkness" will be exactly like everyone Judai has ever dueled, ever? Everyone? Good, you'll win that bet, and I'll have nothing left afterwards. "Darkness" blah blah blahs, and the sight of this giant goat-headed monster holding cards in his hand is just fucking hilarious. It makes me really glad that in the GX manga, Tragoedia keeps using Principal McKenzies body for dueling, as opposed to trying to play Duel Monsters while being a giant monster himself. This is of course because unlike Shin Yoshida, Naoyuki Kageyama both cares about his story and is a good writer. And now the duel begins.
"Darkness" goes first, summons Darkness Eye, which is a big freaking disembodied eyeball on a stalk with zero attack points, and then he plays the Field Spell card, Darkness. This turns his wings dark, and lets him set five cards from his hand or deck. ZOMG, he just filled up all his spell/trap zones! Judai is shocked, this is unprecedented! Judai's turn, he summons Sparkman, declares his attack, and "Darkness" activates his trap card, Zero! This lets him activate another trap card, Infinity! With both these cards activated, he can now activate every trap card in between them, and so he activates his third permanent trap card, Darkness 1. Thus, with Zero and Infinity activated, Darkness 1 will destroy one monster for every Darkness card activated. It is the only one, so Sparkman goes boom. Thus, "Darkness" demands that Judai carve it into his soul, the duel of a God! And now I can't stop thinking about Valkyrie Profile, and how much better that was than this drivel.
EYECATCH!
Repeat of the last five seconds, and then Judai pulls out a brand new card right out of his ass, Relationship; this lets Judai special summon an Elemental Hero with the same attack points as the monster that was just destroyed, so out comes Necro Darkman in defense. And then Judai sets Hero Barrier to end his turn. Daitokuji floats on by to say nothing of any worth, and "Darkness" says that in accordance with his field spell, his trap cards will be randomly reset at the end of every turn. He takes his turn, and activates the effect of Darkness Eye, letting him summon a monster without sacrifice, so he brings out Darkness Destroyer, a monster with so much shit piled onto it, there's no way they can properly animate it. I swear, I feel like I'm looking at the Samurai Ha-Oh from Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, that's how ridiculously overburdened this monster is. Anyway, Darkness Destroyer has 2300 attack points, pierces defense, and can attack twice. Daitokuji moans that its all over if "Darkness" destroys" his monster like before, Judai points out that his cards have been randomly reset, what are the odds, pretty good, as "Darkness" activates Zero and Infinity no problem. All three of his remaining traps are between them, so all three get activated, and the first one to go off is Darkness 2, so now Darkness Destroyer will gain 1000 attack points for every Darkness card that was just activated, for 3000 points total. Blah blah blah, 5300 attack points, oh noes! Badly animated attack, Daitokuji despairs, and Judai activates Hero Barrier to negate the first attack. But here comes the second attack, Necro Darkman is destroyed, and now Judai is down to 500 life points. Also, Judai screams like a total drama queen. "Darkness" says Judai should just give up already, he's all alone now, there's no one left to believe in him, Judai says he doesn't care if he's all alone, and for the first fucking time all season, Yubel decides to speak up.
Blah blah blah, inane banter that tries to gloss over the fact that Yubel was an unrepentant psychopath when Judai decided to forgive hir for no good reason, Judai will never be alone so long as sie is around, what a wonderfully warped thing to say, and Judai proclaims that since there is a non-human depraved, psychotic, monstrous and solipstic spirit that believes in him and couldn't give a shit about the rest of the world, he has the strength to stand. Not exactly "The Power of Friendship", is it? Anyway, "Darkness" randomly resets his trap cards, Darkness Destroyer drops back down to 2300, Judai's turn, he uses Necro Darkman's effect to summon Neos without sacrifice, Darkness Eye swirls, Yubel tells Judai to act now, and Judai activates super-convenient asspull card #2, Effect Shut. This negates a monster's effect and destroys it, so Darkness Eye goes boom, blah blah blah, "Darkness" was using Darkness Eye's effect to confirm what his face-down cards were, "Darkness" tries anyway and gets Darkness 1, so he is screwed, and Darkness Destroyer is destroyed for 200 points of damage. Judai sets a card, and ends his turn. "Darkness" has his trap cards reset on him, "Darkness" proclaims that it will take Yubel away from Judai, and so he summons Darkness Outsider, which is a creepy clown mask on springs with zero attack points. By discarding a card from his hand, Darkness Outsider takes a monster from the opponent's deck and special summons it to his side of the field. Darkness Outsider's mask opens up, tentacles spring out, grab Judai, and "Darkness" discards Darkness Seed to take control of Yubel. And now Yubel is being torn away from his precious Judai while being tentacle raped. That makes me unspeakably happy, and I only wish this moment could last forever. Blah blah blah, "Darkness" says he'll finish Judai off with Yubel, Yubel is forced to attack...
And Judai activates asspull card #3, Astral Shift; this changes Yubel's attack to a direct one, and then lets Judai draw one card. Boy, it sure is convenient that "Darkness" didn't do something silly like grab Edgmean, or Magma Neos, or any other monster that this trap would have been completely useless against. Funny that. Blah blah blah, Judai swears to get back the monster that killed millions, tortured his friends, brutally murdered Amon Garam and Echo, and guilt tripped Judai into thinking that he was the one who done wrong in all that. This is supposed to be heartwarming and moving. The only warmth I feel is in my stomach, the only movement towards retching. And now "Darkness" special summons Darkness Slime since all his monsters have zero attack points. It is in defense, copies Neos's stats in reverse, so it has 2500 defense, and Judai blathers on about how strong the bond between him and Yubel is, how it lets him overlook all the horrific atrocities sie committed for no reason at all, how even though sie has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever he'll never abandon hir, and in the most trite, cliche move possible, ha plays Super Fusion, discarding Winged Kuriboh to fuse Neos and Yubel together. Cheap special effects abound, and out comes Neos Wiseman. This is supposed to be symbolic of how Yubel no longer hates Neos or some shit like that, but no sensible person would give a fuck about that drivel. Blah blah blah, it has 3000 attack points, inflicts damage equal to the attack power of the monster it battles, and Judai recovers life equal to its defense. Neos Wiseman attacks and destroys Darkness Slime with laser beam spam, Judai's up to 3000 life points while "Darkness" is down to 1800 life points, and Judai spouts off on how great and powerful and wonderful the bond between him and his psychotic, obsessive spirit is. Also, he's going to save everyone in the whole wide world, all by himself. End episode.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, Yubel goes on and on about what a better person Judai is thanks to hir, I go smash my head against a knife rack, EPISODE TITLE, THE LAST HOPE! JUDAI YUKI card of the week is neos wiseman
The only decent thing about this episode is the voice they chose for "Darkness". Everything else, from writing to characterization to the duel choreography? All rubbish, every last bit of it.