Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 175
Last time, Fubuki was robbed in a blatant display of contempt by the writers. How on Earth will they follow that up? Well, we start with Mr. T chanting "Darkness" and while I'm sure that's scary for the intended audience of young Japanese boys, it does not threaten my native English ears, at all. Seaweed Hair laughs evilly, Judai yells out his name, and for no particular reason, Honest decides to show himself. One wonders why the hell he didn't appear sooner, given how intensely driven he was to find Seaweed Hair in the first place. Blah blah blah, Judai challenges Seaweed Hair.
TITLE SCREEN! BATTLE ROYALE! JUDAI VS. JOHAN VS. FUJIWARA there's that typo again, why do they keep getting seaweed hair's name wrong?
Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair mocks Judai for wanting to save him, he'll be the one to "save" them, and they shouldn't let the words of a card spirit confuse them. In the world, this would be a mark of sanity, but in the realm of GX, that is evil and badwrong. Judai is outraged that Seaweed Hair could be so cruel and dismissive to Honest, who's entire existence revolves around being Seaweed Hair's submissive pet. Blah blah blah, and Seaweed Hair hurts Honest's feelings so badly he just disappears. Well, that was a well spent three minutes. Johan says he'll fight alongside Judai, is curiously incurious regarding this latest spirit that's taken up residence in Judai's soul, and Seaweed Hair accepts this challenge too, declaring that this will be a Triangle Duel. So yeah, everyone can attack everyone. The duel begins, Seaweed Hair goes first, and out comes Clear Phantom. Because repetition is awesome. He then sets a card, and ends his turn. Johan's next, he summons Emerald Turtle in defense, and then sets two cards to end his turn. Judai's turn, he summons Wildman, and sets two cards of his own. Then Judai randomly decides that this scene could really use some Ho Yay, and chats up Johan. Blah blah blah, aren't we such great friends, remember that time you summoned Rainbow Dragon and how that didn't lead to Judai having a nervous breakdown and committing genocide all over the place? Nor did it involve Johan being possessed by a psychotic spirit that hated him and used him to destroy and subvert everything he ever believed in? Good times! Seaweed Hair is unimpressed by this empty twaddle, and takes his turn. Oh hey, what do you know, Clear World. Keep those topdecking skills up, you crazy, boring, bland villain who's entire scheme is a trite rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project. Blah blah blah, Wildman is Earth type, so Judai has to destroy one of his monsters during his endphase, and Emerald Turtle is Water, so Johan has to discard a card during his end phase. Now Seaweed Hair summons Clear Rage Golem, neither of his monsters have attributes so Clear World doesn't hurt him, he has Clear Phantom attack Wildman even though its attack power is lower in an obvious effort to capitalize on its effect.
Seaweed Hair's monster explodes, he takes 300 damage, and Judai, most brilliant, greatest, and bestest of all duelists in the entire world, who just a few minutes ago saw Seaweed Hair use this monster and activate its effect, has no idea what's about to happen. Oh hey, Wildman goes boom, and Judai loses the top three cards from his deck, including Neos. Now Seaweed Hair orders his remaining monster to attack Judai directly, hilarious moment as Johan finally catches on to the intricacies of Seaweed Hair's intricate dueling strategy, but Judai activates his trap card A Hero Emerges, special summoning Clayman in defense. Johan then activates his trap card, Trap Strap; when an opponent activates a trap, that trap can be set back on the field, and then Johan gets to special summon a Gem Beast from his deck, so out comes Sapphire Pegasus. It is a Wind attribute, so now Johan can't activate spell cards, but Johan still gets to use Sapphire Pegasus's effect to take Amber Mammoth from his deck and place it in his spell/trap zone. Seaweed Hair is forced to end his battle, and now activates the permanent spell card, Clear Wall, who's effect is not elaborated upon, but basically attacks that don't do at least 1000 points of damage are useless. Instead, Seaweed Hair goes over what a terrible idea it was to try to duel both Judai and Johan at the same time, and tries to think of a way to break their "combination". Judai has Yubel's super-duper powers, so that's no good, but Johan is a different story. Johan wants to know why Seaweed Hair is staring at him like that, only Judai is allowed to mentally undress him that way. Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair is going to try to read Johan's heart, resistance is futile, and as before, Johan's heart is a vast, empty, lifeless void. How telling. Rainbow Dragon and the Gem Beasts show up, Seaweed Hair realizes he needs to get rid of them, and...something about how a bright light must be the darkness of Johan's heart.
I...do not get it. That's the sort of thing you expect from a SyFy movie! But Judai's shadow suddenly passes in front of the light, and now Seaweed Hair has his answer. Yeah, great going Gem Beasts, you sure defended Johan's heart good! Blah blah blah, back in the real world, Seaweed Hair engages in the epic understatement of the decade by telling Johan that he is very similar to Judai. Blah blah blah, he compares Johan's desire to defeat Judai to the moon wanting to eat the sun, gloriously hanging a lampshade on how Johan is just such a cheap knock-off of Judai. Everyone continues to act like Johan wanting to defeat Judai is some dark, twisted secret, and Seaweed Hair proclaims that since he set this up as a Triangle Duel, Johan can defeat Judai right here and now. Well, actually Johan could have defeated Judai a few episodes ago without any sort of negative consequence at all, but that wouldn't have been wangsty enough. Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair continues to egg Johan on, and Johan seemingly accepts.
EYECATCH!
Johan's turn, he summons Amethyst Cat, uses her effect to attack Judai directly, Judai is aghast at this turn of events, and Seaweed Hair goes on a very longwinded, boring, and tangential spiel about the darkness of the human heart. Johan acts like he's on drugs, Seaweed Hair continues to be boring and irrelevant, and Johan falls to his knees in a bout of overacting to compensate for how very little substance his character actually has. Finally, the duel resumes, Judai activates Damage Interest, inflicting twice the battle damage he took to Johan, Johan gets knocked down for 1200 points of damage, he gets up again, activates his other trap card Damage Capture, taking the effect damage he just took and adding it to Sapphire Pegasus's attack power until the end of his turn. He declares his attack, and then starts snickering. This becomes full blown laughter, Judai joins in, and Johan directs his attack against Clear Rage Golem. Seaweed Hair is outraged at being played, Johan's all "duh, of course I want to beat Judai, I is a duelist, duhr". Once again, incredibly shallow and trite characterization that is typical of GX, blah blah blah, they try to tell of Seaweed Hair for being a coward who ran away from everything for...some reason, and it is just so hollow. Finally the attack goes off, Seaweed Hair is forced to sacrifice Clear Wall to negate the damage he's about to take, Judai and Johan congratulate themselves on being such great "friends", Johan sets two cards, he destroys his earth type Amethyst Cat in accordance with Clear World, it goes to his spell/trap zone, and Emerald Turtle forces him to discard his last card. Now it's Judai's turn. He switches Clayman to attack, and Johan activates his trap card Sapphire Revive; now he can special summon a monster from the opponent's grave to their field, and then he gets to bring out a Gem Beast with the same defense power. Boy, you've got to wonder where the hell Johan picked up these oh so convenient cards like this.
So Judai gets back the Burst Lady that was discarded from his deck, and now Johan brings out Cobalt Eagle. Blah blah blah, Johan goes on about how he has to repay Judai for saving him from Yubel while being completely unconcerned with how Judai is housing Yubel in his soul because that would get in the way of all the marketing and the ho yay. Now Judai plays Fusion, combining Burst Lady and Featherman into Flame Wingman. Because its a wind attribute, Judai can't use spells, but whatever, he declares his attack against Clear Rage Golem. It goes boom, Seaweed Hair takes massive damage, Clayman does its attack, Seaweed Hair is down to 800 life points, Judai sets a card, and destroys Clayman in accordance with Clear World. Then we get a scene that's even more drenched in Ho Yay than any other scene before. Judai keeps going on about how Seaweed Hair needs to stop giving up, and I don't know where he's coming from with this, I honestly don't. He must peeking at the script, that's the only explanation that makes even a little bit of sense. And now Honest comes back, but only to continue his Pokemon impression where all he can say is "Master". Blah blah blah, this is seriously creepy, and Honest goes away again. Seaweed Hair's direction is all over the damn place, can't even manage a consistent crazy, and oh hey, Clear Sacrifice. Let me guess, Clear Vice Dragon? Yep, Clear Vice Dragon. He declares his attack against Flame Wingman, the solar eclipse is just about complete, end episode.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, Judai is still inexplicably determined to save Seaweed Hair, and more blather from Johan. EPISODE TITLE, RAINBOW NEOS, PROTECTOR OF BONDS VS. CLEAR VICIOUS KNIGHT card of the week is clear vice dragon
That was tedious, now wasn't it? Wasting all that time with that faux-drama with Judai and Johan that didn't go anywhere or mean anything. But hey, only five more episodes to go.
TITLE SCREEN! BATTLE ROYALE! JUDAI VS. JOHAN VS. FUJIWARA there's that typo again, why do they keep getting seaweed hair's name wrong?
Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair mocks Judai for wanting to save him, he'll be the one to "save" them, and they shouldn't let the words of a card spirit confuse them. In the world, this would be a mark of sanity, but in the realm of GX, that is evil and badwrong. Judai is outraged that Seaweed Hair could be so cruel and dismissive to Honest, who's entire existence revolves around being Seaweed Hair's submissive pet. Blah blah blah, and Seaweed Hair hurts Honest's feelings so badly he just disappears. Well, that was a well spent three minutes. Johan says he'll fight alongside Judai, is curiously incurious regarding this latest spirit that's taken up residence in Judai's soul, and Seaweed Hair accepts this challenge too, declaring that this will be a Triangle Duel. So yeah, everyone can attack everyone. The duel begins, Seaweed Hair goes first, and out comes Clear Phantom. Because repetition is awesome. He then sets a card, and ends his turn. Johan's next, he summons Emerald Turtle in defense, and then sets two cards to end his turn. Judai's turn, he summons Wildman, and sets two cards of his own. Then Judai randomly decides that this scene could really use some Ho Yay, and chats up Johan. Blah blah blah, aren't we such great friends, remember that time you summoned Rainbow Dragon and how that didn't lead to Judai having a nervous breakdown and committing genocide all over the place? Nor did it involve Johan being possessed by a psychotic spirit that hated him and used him to destroy and subvert everything he ever believed in? Good times! Seaweed Hair is unimpressed by this empty twaddle, and takes his turn. Oh hey, what do you know, Clear World. Keep those topdecking skills up, you crazy, boring, bland villain who's entire scheme is a trite rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project. Blah blah blah, Wildman is Earth type, so Judai has to destroy one of his monsters during his endphase, and Emerald Turtle is Water, so Johan has to discard a card during his end phase. Now Seaweed Hair summons Clear Rage Golem, neither of his monsters have attributes so Clear World doesn't hurt him, he has Clear Phantom attack Wildman even though its attack power is lower in an obvious effort to capitalize on its effect.
Seaweed Hair's monster explodes, he takes 300 damage, and Judai, most brilliant, greatest, and bestest of all duelists in the entire world, who just a few minutes ago saw Seaweed Hair use this monster and activate its effect, has no idea what's about to happen. Oh hey, Wildman goes boom, and Judai loses the top three cards from his deck, including Neos. Now Seaweed Hair orders his remaining monster to attack Judai directly, hilarious moment as Johan finally catches on to the intricacies of Seaweed Hair's intricate dueling strategy, but Judai activates his trap card A Hero Emerges, special summoning Clayman in defense. Johan then activates his trap card, Trap Strap; when an opponent activates a trap, that trap can be set back on the field, and then Johan gets to special summon a Gem Beast from his deck, so out comes Sapphire Pegasus. It is a Wind attribute, so now Johan can't activate spell cards, but Johan still gets to use Sapphire Pegasus's effect to take Amber Mammoth from his deck and place it in his spell/trap zone. Seaweed Hair is forced to end his battle, and now activates the permanent spell card, Clear Wall, who's effect is not elaborated upon, but basically attacks that don't do at least 1000 points of damage are useless. Instead, Seaweed Hair goes over what a terrible idea it was to try to duel both Judai and Johan at the same time, and tries to think of a way to break their "combination". Judai has Yubel's super-duper powers, so that's no good, but Johan is a different story. Johan wants to know why Seaweed Hair is staring at him like that, only Judai is allowed to mentally undress him that way. Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair is going to try to read Johan's heart, resistance is futile, and as before, Johan's heart is a vast, empty, lifeless void. How telling. Rainbow Dragon and the Gem Beasts show up, Seaweed Hair realizes he needs to get rid of them, and...something about how a bright light must be the darkness of Johan's heart.
I...do not get it. That's the sort of thing you expect from a SyFy movie! But Judai's shadow suddenly passes in front of the light, and now Seaweed Hair has his answer. Yeah, great going Gem Beasts, you sure defended Johan's heart good! Blah blah blah, back in the real world, Seaweed Hair engages in the epic understatement of the decade by telling Johan that he is very similar to Judai. Blah blah blah, he compares Johan's desire to defeat Judai to the moon wanting to eat the sun, gloriously hanging a lampshade on how Johan is just such a cheap knock-off of Judai. Everyone continues to act like Johan wanting to defeat Judai is some dark, twisted secret, and Seaweed Hair proclaims that since he set this up as a Triangle Duel, Johan can defeat Judai right here and now. Well, actually Johan could have defeated Judai a few episodes ago without any sort of negative consequence at all, but that wouldn't have been wangsty enough. Blah blah blah, Seaweed Hair continues to egg Johan on, and Johan seemingly accepts.
EYECATCH!
Johan's turn, he summons Amethyst Cat, uses her effect to attack Judai directly, Judai is aghast at this turn of events, and Seaweed Hair goes on a very longwinded, boring, and tangential spiel about the darkness of the human heart. Johan acts like he's on drugs, Seaweed Hair continues to be boring and irrelevant, and Johan falls to his knees in a bout of overacting to compensate for how very little substance his character actually has. Finally, the duel resumes, Judai activates Damage Interest, inflicting twice the battle damage he took to Johan, Johan gets knocked down for 1200 points of damage, he gets up again, activates his other trap card Damage Capture, taking the effect damage he just took and adding it to Sapphire Pegasus's attack power until the end of his turn. He declares his attack, and then starts snickering. This becomes full blown laughter, Judai joins in, and Johan directs his attack against Clear Rage Golem. Seaweed Hair is outraged at being played, Johan's all "duh, of course I want to beat Judai, I is a duelist, duhr". Once again, incredibly shallow and trite characterization that is typical of GX, blah blah blah, they try to tell of Seaweed Hair for being a coward who ran away from everything for...some reason, and it is just so hollow. Finally the attack goes off, Seaweed Hair is forced to sacrifice Clear Wall to negate the damage he's about to take, Judai and Johan congratulate themselves on being such great "friends", Johan sets two cards, he destroys his earth type Amethyst Cat in accordance with Clear World, it goes to his spell/trap zone, and Emerald Turtle forces him to discard his last card. Now it's Judai's turn. He switches Clayman to attack, and Johan activates his trap card Sapphire Revive; now he can special summon a monster from the opponent's grave to their field, and then he gets to bring out a Gem Beast with the same defense power. Boy, you've got to wonder where the hell Johan picked up these oh so convenient cards like this.
So Judai gets back the Burst Lady that was discarded from his deck, and now Johan brings out Cobalt Eagle. Blah blah blah, Johan goes on about how he has to repay Judai for saving him from Yubel while being completely unconcerned with how Judai is housing Yubel in his soul because that would get in the way of all the marketing and the ho yay. Now Judai plays Fusion, combining Burst Lady and Featherman into Flame Wingman. Because its a wind attribute, Judai can't use spells, but whatever, he declares his attack against Clear Rage Golem. It goes boom, Seaweed Hair takes massive damage, Clayman does its attack, Seaweed Hair is down to 800 life points, Judai sets a card, and destroys Clayman in accordance with Clear World. Then we get a scene that's even more drenched in Ho Yay than any other scene before. Judai keeps going on about how Seaweed Hair needs to stop giving up, and I don't know where he's coming from with this, I honestly don't. He must peeking at the script, that's the only explanation that makes even a little bit of sense. And now Honest comes back, but only to continue his Pokemon impression where all he can say is "Master". Blah blah blah, this is seriously creepy, and Honest goes away again. Seaweed Hair's direction is all over the damn place, can't even manage a consistent crazy, and oh hey, Clear Sacrifice. Let me guess, Clear Vice Dragon? Yep, Clear Vice Dragon. He declares his attack against Flame Wingman, the solar eclipse is just about complete, end episode.
NEXT TIME! The duel continues, Judai is still inexplicably determined to save Seaweed Hair, and more blather from Johan. EPISODE TITLE, RAINBOW NEOS, PROTECTOR OF BONDS VS. CLEAR VICIOUS KNIGHT card of the week is clear vice dragon
That was tedious, now wasn't it? Wasting all that time with that faux-drama with Judai and Johan that didn't go anywhere or mean anything. But hey, only five more episodes to go.