Where I rewatch Yugioh GX, Episode 172
So yeah, Kaiba Corp is blowing up, and Judai goes through this long, tedious sequence where he tries to get to the ground, and being that Judai has freely demonstrated throughout this season the ability to pull out whatever superpower he needs for the situation right out of his ass, the tension is even lower than it usually is. Oh noes, will Judai be able to make it to safety from the gondola before it crashes?
TITLE SCREEN! THE DUEL ACADEMIA CRISIS! CONFRONTATION OF THE GEM BEASTS wow, who wants to bet that the ocg just came out with new gem beast support cards?
Oh wow, what do you know, Judai summons to save his sorry ass. All the powers of the cosmos, and all he ever does with it is to summon Neos. Of course, even this has to be stupider then necessary, so Neos shoots a beam at the ground to make an explosion that deflects the falling gondola. This tosses Judai into the air, and Neos grabs him. One wonders why Neos didn't just grab Judai instead of wasting time with that physically impossible stunt, but then, in contrast to the GX writers, one has brain cells. And then Neos nonchalantly drops Judai five feet onto his head, causing his neck to break upon impact with the concrete. Of fucking course not, this is GX trying to be funny on purpose. Judai then starts shambling his way back to Duel Academia, when suddenly the film goes negative. Judai is apparently really exhausted, though I have no idea why, and Judai knows how to ride a motorcycle. Of fucking course he does. And now we are treated to the sight of Kaiba Corp falling apart, standing in for the gigantic middle finger the writers are flipping off in the direction of the original series. Meanwhile, back at the island, Kenzan is continuing his thoroughly pointless pursuit of "Sorano", who is back at the main body of the school, challenging some clueless dupe. Boy, it sure is a good thing that Judai refused to warn anyone of the danger that faced them; I mean, can you imagine how badly it would turn out if people were able to make informed decisions regarding their own safety and the safety of their beloved school? Blah blah blah, all souls will be one with "Darkness", all shall enter the world of "Darkness", and could this entire plotline be an even bigger, weaker rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project from Neon Genesis Evangelion? Just give it time...another "Sorano" appears before Kenzan, blah blah blah, lots of tedious shit I don't care about, "Sorano" thinks that Kenzan should stop being Judai's hanger-on and actually make a name for himself, and apparently Sorano was the very first friend Kenzan made when he came to Duel Academia.
See what I mean? Retcons galore, and not a damn was ever given by the writers. And I love how he goes on about how Sorano would talk to him even though he was in Ra Yellow, completely ignoring how he had nothing but contempt and derision for his own dorm, regarding it as beneath him. That's just classic GX shitty writing right there. Blah blah blah, this is what the darkness of Sorano's soul thinks, no one gives a damn, and "Sorano" grabs Kenzan's chest to see the darkness of his soul. Of course, Kenzan's dino dna keeps him from doing this, once again emphasizing just how important to not be born a stupid, weak human, or else you will be helpless, worthless, and utterly dependent on those who were smart enough to be some manner of cosmically ordained freak of nature. "Sorano" does glowy eyes, Kenzan demands to know who he really is, Mr. T does a projection of himself while keeping the appearance of Sorano for no particular reason, and they duel. Back in Domino City, Judai is just racing along thanks to all the lessons he took in riding Motorcycles, but apparently he never figured out how to slow down and hit the brake, as he falls off and lets the motorcycle, which wasn't even his to begin with, slide into the bay. Naturally, Judai is merely bruised and not, oh I don't know, have every bone in his body broken with huge internal injuries and great big chunks of his skin torn off. Judai's heading back for the boat he stole, the film goes negative again, he falls to his knees, and there's Mr. T standing right in front of him. Oddly enough, Mr. T is glad that Judai's safe, but Judai yells at him, confusing him and hurting his feelings. Judai forces himself up, Mr. T continues to act like he's Judai's dear friend, and anyone who's shocked by the upcoming plot twist needs to go back and repeat the third grade. Blah blah blah, Judai challenges "Mr. T", Mr. T accepts on the grounds that if his words can't reach Judai, maybe his duel will.
Judai goes first, Burst Lady in attack, and set a card to end his turn. "Mr. T" takes his turn, and he summons Cobalt Eagle. Judai is aghast, how could this be, but then "Mr. T" equips Cobalt Eagle with Golden Rule, which lets him take two level-3 or lower Gem Beasts from his deck and place them in his spell/trap zone. Oh, and he also gets to special summon Amethyst Cat from his hand. And now Gem Guidance, to special summon Topaz Tiger from his deck. Judai asks how on Earth "Mr. T" could have the Gem Beasts, Johan is supposed to be the only one! Gosh, it is such a mystery, isn't it? Judai almost figures it out, "Mr. T" declares he'll open Judai's eyes, and has Topaz Tiger attack. Judai activates Mirror Gate, "Mr. T" takes 800 points of damage as his Burst Lady is destroyed, Amethyst Cat attacks directly for 600, and now "Mr. T" plays Rare Value, Judai sends Ruby Carbuncle to the grave and "Mr. T" draws two cards. This apparently results in Golden Rule losing its effect and Amethyst Cat getting destroyed. That's okay, "Mr. T" just plays Gem Spring, when a Gem Beast returns from the field to his deck, he takes that gem beast and two more from from his deck and puts them on top in whatever order he desires. So he uses Cobalt Eagle's effect for the first time ever, returning Emerald Turtle to his deck, sends Sapphire Pegasus and Amber Mammoth on top as well, and then he sets two cards to end his turn. Mirror Gate's effect ends, Topaz Tiger returns to his side of the field, and Judai just can't understand how someone who isn't Johan could use the Gem Beasts so well. Seriously, it's so goddamn mysterious and not at all forced or contrived!
EYECATCH!
Judai wont' let "Mr. T" have his way with Johan's deck like that, because cards are the only real friends you can count on! Judai's turn, he plays Fusion, and for no reason at all a dark aura spirals out of the card. "Mr. T" reacts in shock, Judai fuses Featherman, Sparkman, and Bubbleman for Tempester, one wonders why the hell he didn't summon Bubbleman to get two cards for free, but Judai's made so many stupid decisions in the course of his life, what's another one so very close to the end of this series? Tempester attacks Topaz Tiger, "Mr. T" activates Mine Blasting to send the top five cards of his deck to the grave, blah blah blah, and now he activates Rainbow's Gravity, letting him special summon Rainbow Dragon from his deck now that all his Gem Beasts are either on the field or in the grave. Judai is in shock, how could this be, "Mr. T" tells Judai to wake up, and blows up Tempester for 1200 points of damage. Yeah, apparently Rainbow's Gravity forces you to attack Rainbow Dragon. Or something. Then Judai gets hit with Rainbow Breath, which causes the randomly dark Fusion card to fly out of his grave, and a huge cloud of darkness flies out of Judai, and it really sounds like it hurts. And of course, "Mr. T" was really Johan all along. Weak. Blah blah, Judai collapses in exhaustion, the duel ends prematurely to avoid Judai having to lose like he should have, and oh gosh, look at all that passion, they just so want to make out, seriously, you guys, I'm totally not speaking in a bored, robotic monotone or anything like that, honest. Yeah, apparently the writers wanted us to believe that when Saiou slipped The Fool into Judai's deck, it infected his Fusion card with darkness. Not buying it. At all. Plus, why would this result in him seeing Johan as Mr. T? No reason is ever provided for that, we're just supposed to take it for granted. Anyway, Judai is ashamed with himself, how could he ever see Johan as an enemy, and apparently we're supposed to buy that O'Brien told Johan everything. Which would be why we never saw anything of the sort.
Oh, and then Sapphire Pegasus comes out to let Judai and Johan know that they've just overcome the darkness of their souls. Yeah, sure they did. Oh, this is supposed to be a reference to when Judai played Super Fusion, the card he created through genocide, to save the only person other than himself who matters in all the universe, Johan. Yeah, all the duel monster spirits have every confidence that Judai and Johan, the two most sparkliest of all sparkly sparklers, can save everyone from "Darkness". But enough that tedious ho-yay, let's check out that tedious and insipid dino-dna duel. Oh look, Kenzan's getting his ass kicked, what a shock. Unfortunately, Kenzan's not quite out of it yet, and takes his turn; he summons Hyper Hammerhead with 1500 attack points, and orders it to attack Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV 8. Blah blah blah, Hyper Hammerhead is destroyed for 1500 points of damage, but this activates its effect, returning Horus to Mr. T's hand. Now Kenzan can activate his spell cards, and he plays Space-Time Transcendency, letting him remove four dinosaur monsters in his grave from play to special summon the level 4 Tyranno Infinity from his hand. It gains 4000 attack points through its effect, you can't attack on the turn you activate Space-Time Transcendency, so instead Kenzan plays Dino Blast, picking a dinosaur monster he controls to inflict 300 damage per level of the monster, or 1200. Kenzan proclaims this to be the power of his beloved dinos, Mr. T asks if he really loves Dinosaurs that damn much, Kenzan blathers about how he and Dinos are one ever since he got that fossil jammed into his leg, and apparently there is no darkness in Kenzan's soul. Once again, I'm not buying it. But apparently, Mr. T plans to take even the tiniest shadow and turn it into a huge darkness. So which is it, does Kenzan have or not have darkness in his soul at all? It's a akin to saying someone is "a little pregnant", doesn't mean anything.
Mr. T then proclaims he'll take Kenzan to the world of Dinosaurs that he loves so much, cheesy special effects, and now Kenzan is a dinosaur straight out of that sequence from Fantasia. My reference pool has no limits! Mr. T tells Kenzan that this was his past life, and he is overjoyed at how awesome that is, a sentiment that would make more sense if he were five years old. Then Kenzan sees a baby Triceratops, and goes to eat it. It is a very clean, not at all messy or bloody kill, blah blah blah, the strong eat the weak in the world Kenzan loves so much, and now this will become his curse. Kenzan's all WTF, the fossil in his leg begins to glow, and Mr. T "reveals" that that fossil came from a dinosaur that Kenzan had eaten in a past life! OH NOES! Kenzan is wrapped up in darkness, and Mr. T goes on about how a man sows, so shall he reap, and I can't even laugh; this is beyond anything I've ever seen in my life. I fear I will never laugh again, because nothing can ever be this hilarious again, ever. And the scene's not even over yet! Kenzan is attacked by dinosaurs, writhes in pain, and the fact that Mr. T is making up all this just to troll Kenzan just makes it even funnier. Seriously, Kenzan is acting like Luke when he found out that Darth Vader was his father, only its that he ate dinosaurs. Kenzan, you are worthless, and I welcome the moment when Mr. T wipes all memory of your existence into oblivion. Mr. T, satisfied with his trolling, finally takes his turn while Kenzan continues to whine and moan like a three year old who was denied a pudding cup. Mr. T plays Premature Burial, paying 800 life points to bring back Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV 6, plays Magical Stone Excavation and discards two cards for Level Up, plays that to sacrifice LV 6 for LV 8, and the music tries its hardest to sell this as a dire turn of events. It fails miserably. And now Burial from Another Dimension to return three of Kenzan's removed from play Dinos back to his grave, reducing Tyranno Infinity's attack power to 1000. Mr. T attacks, Kenzan is defeated, and he vanishes from existence. And now Judai and Johan are on the speedboat, heading back to Duel Academia. So in summation, nothing was accomplished by Judai going to Domino City, and thus there was no point to the past four or so episodes. Moreso than they were already pointless by virtue of being in GX I mean. Blah blah blah, Judai hopes everyone is safe in order to invoke irony, and the episode ends.
NEXT TIME! Blah blah blah, the students of Duel Academia continue to drop like flies by virtue of not being Judai, EPISODE TITLE, THE INVASION OF DARKNESS! STOLEN MEMORIES card of the week is tyranno infinity
All throughout season 2, they kept building up Kenzan as being so damn important, and now he's just getting curb-stomped by everything. It's so sad, it becomes hilarious on an unprecedented level.
TITLE SCREEN! THE DUEL ACADEMIA CRISIS! CONFRONTATION OF THE GEM BEASTS wow, who wants to bet that the ocg just came out with new gem beast support cards?
Oh wow, what do you know, Judai summons to save his sorry ass. All the powers of the cosmos, and all he ever does with it is to summon Neos. Of course, even this has to be stupider then necessary, so Neos shoots a beam at the ground to make an explosion that deflects the falling gondola. This tosses Judai into the air, and Neos grabs him. One wonders why Neos didn't just grab Judai instead of wasting time with that physically impossible stunt, but then, in contrast to the GX writers, one has brain cells. And then Neos nonchalantly drops Judai five feet onto his head, causing his neck to break upon impact with the concrete. Of fucking course not, this is GX trying to be funny on purpose. Judai then starts shambling his way back to Duel Academia, when suddenly the film goes negative. Judai is apparently really exhausted, though I have no idea why, and Judai knows how to ride a motorcycle. Of fucking course he does. And now we are treated to the sight of Kaiba Corp falling apart, standing in for the gigantic middle finger the writers are flipping off in the direction of the original series. Meanwhile, back at the island, Kenzan is continuing his thoroughly pointless pursuit of "Sorano", who is back at the main body of the school, challenging some clueless dupe. Boy, it sure is a good thing that Judai refused to warn anyone of the danger that faced them; I mean, can you imagine how badly it would turn out if people were able to make informed decisions regarding their own safety and the safety of their beloved school? Blah blah blah, all souls will be one with "Darkness", all shall enter the world of "Darkness", and could this entire plotline be an even bigger, weaker rip-off of the Human Instrumentality Project from Neon Genesis Evangelion? Just give it time...another "Sorano" appears before Kenzan, blah blah blah, lots of tedious shit I don't care about, "Sorano" thinks that Kenzan should stop being Judai's hanger-on and actually make a name for himself, and apparently Sorano was the very first friend Kenzan made when he came to Duel Academia.
See what I mean? Retcons galore, and not a damn was ever given by the writers. And I love how he goes on about how Sorano would talk to him even though he was in Ra Yellow, completely ignoring how he had nothing but contempt and derision for his own dorm, regarding it as beneath him. That's just classic GX shitty writing right there. Blah blah blah, this is what the darkness of Sorano's soul thinks, no one gives a damn, and "Sorano" grabs Kenzan's chest to see the darkness of his soul. Of course, Kenzan's dino dna keeps him from doing this, once again emphasizing just how important to not be born a stupid, weak human, or else you will be helpless, worthless, and utterly dependent on those who were smart enough to be some manner of cosmically ordained freak of nature. "Sorano" does glowy eyes, Kenzan demands to know who he really is, Mr. T does a projection of himself while keeping the appearance of Sorano for no particular reason, and they duel. Back in Domino City, Judai is just racing along thanks to all the lessons he took in riding Motorcycles, but apparently he never figured out how to slow down and hit the brake, as he falls off and lets the motorcycle, which wasn't even his to begin with, slide into the bay. Naturally, Judai is merely bruised and not, oh I don't know, have every bone in his body broken with huge internal injuries and great big chunks of his skin torn off. Judai's heading back for the boat he stole, the film goes negative again, he falls to his knees, and there's Mr. T standing right in front of him. Oddly enough, Mr. T is glad that Judai's safe, but Judai yells at him, confusing him and hurting his feelings. Judai forces himself up, Mr. T continues to act like he's Judai's dear friend, and anyone who's shocked by the upcoming plot twist needs to go back and repeat the third grade. Blah blah blah, Judai challenges "Mr. T", Mr. T accepts on the grounds that if his words can't reach Judai, maybe his duel will.
Judai goes first, Burst Lady in attack, and set a card to end his turn. "Mr. T" takes his turn, and he summons Cobalt Eagle. Judai is aghast, how could this be, but then "Mr. T" equips Cobalt Eagle with Golden Rule, which lets him take two level-3 or lower Gem Beasts from his deck and place them in his spell/trap zone. Oh, and he also gets to special summon Amethyst Cat from his hand. And now Gem Guidance, to special summon Topaz Tiger from his deck. Judai asks how on Earth "Mr. T" could have the Gem Beasts, Johan is supposed to be the only one! Gosh, it is such a mystery, isn't it? Judai almost figures it out, "Mr. T" declares he'll open Judai's eyes, and has Topaz Tiger attack. Judai activates Mirror Gate, "Mr. T" takes 800 points of damage as his Burst Lady is destroyed, Amethyst Cat attacks directly for 600, and now "Mr. T" plays Rare Value, Judai sends Ruby Carbuncle to the grave and "Mr. T" draws two cards. This apparently results in Golden Rule losing its effect and Amethyst Cat getting destroyed. That's okay, "Mr. T" just plays Gem Spring, when a Gem Beast returns from the field to his deck, he takes that gem beast and two more from from his deck and puts them on top in whatever order he desires. So he uses Cobalt Eagle's effect for the first time ever, returning Emerald Turtle to his deck, sends Sapphire Pegasus and Amber Mammoth on top as well, and then he sets two cards to end his turn. Mirror Gate's effect ends, Topaz Tiger returns to his side of the field, and Judai just can't understand how someone who isn't Johan could use the Gem Beasts so well. Seriously, it's so goddamn mysterious and not at all forced or contrived!
EYECATCH!
Judai wont' let "Mr. T" have his way with Johan's deck like that, because cards are the only real friends you can count on! Judai's turn, he plays Fusion, and for no reason at all a dark aura spirals out of the card. "Mr. T" reacts in shock, Judai fuses Featherman, Sparkman, and Bubbleman for Tempester, one wonders why the hell he didn't summon Bubbleman to get two cards for free, but Judai's made so many stupid decisions in the course of his life, what's another one so very close to the end of this series? Tempester attacks Topaz Tiger, "Mr. T" activates Mine Blasting to send the top five cards of his deck to the grave, blah blah blah, and now he activates Rainbow's Gravity, letting him special summon Rainbow Dragon from his deck now that all his Gem Beasts are either on the field or in the grave. Judai is in shock, how could this be, "Mr. T" tells Judai to wake up, and blows up Tempester for 1200 points of damage. Yeah, apparently Rainbow's Gravity forces you to attack Rainbow Dragon. Or something. Then Judai gets hit with Rainbow Breath, which causes the randomly dark Fusion card to fly out of his grave, and a huge cloud of darkness flies out of Judai, and it really sounds like it hurts. And of course, "Mr. T" was really Johan all along. Weak. Blah blah, Judai collapses in exhaustion, the duel ends prematurely to avoid Judai having to lose like he should have, and oh gosh, look at all that passion, they just so want to make out, seriously, you guys, I'm totally not speaking in a bored, robotic monotone or anything like that, honest. Yeah, apparently the writers wanted us to believe that when Saiou slipped The Fool into Judai's deck, it infected his Fusion card with darkness. Not buying it. At all. Plus, why would this result in him seeing Johan as Mr. T? No reason is ever provided for that, we're just supposed to take it for granted. Anyway, Judai is ashamed with himself, how could he ever see Johan as an enemy, and apparently we're supposed to buy that O'Brien told Johan everything. Which would be why we never saw anything of the sort.
Oh, and then Sapphire Pegasus comes out to let Judai and Johan know that they've just overcome the darkness of their souls. Yeah, sure they did. Oh, this is supposed to be a reference to when Judai played Super Fusion, the card he created through genocide, to save the only person other than himself who matters in all the universe, Johan. Yeah, all the duel monster spirits have every confidence that Judai and Johan, the two most sparkliest of all sparkly sparklers, can save everyone from "Darkness". But enough that tedious ho-yay, let's check out that tedious and insipid dino-dna duel. Oh look, Kenzan's getting his ass kicked, what a shock. Unfortunately, Kenzan's not quite out of it yet, and takes his turn; he summons Hyper Hammerhead with 1500 attack points, and orders it to attack Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV 8. Blah blah blah, Hyper Hammerhead is destroyed for 1500 points of damage, but this activates its effect, returning Horus to Mr. T's hand. Now Kenzan can activate his spell cards, and he plays Space-Time Transcendency, letting him remove four dinosaur monsters in his grave from play to special summon the level 4 Tyranno Infinity from his hand. It gains 4000 attack points through its effect, you can't attack on the turn you activate Space-Time Transcendency, so instead Kenzan plays Dino Blast, picking a dinosaur monster he controls to inflict 300 damage per level of the monster, or 1200. Kenzan proclaims this to be the power of his beloved dinos, Mr. T asks if he really loves Dinosaurs that damn much, Kenzan blathers about how he and Dinos are one ever since he got that fossil jammed into his leg, and apparently there is no darkness in Kenzan's soul. Once again, I'm not buying it. But apparently, Mr. T plans to take even the tiniest shadow and turn it into a huge darkness. So which is it, does Kenzan have or not have darkness in his soul at all? It's a akin to saying someone is "a little pregnant", doesn't mean anything.
Mr. T then proclaims he'll take Kenzan to the world of Dinosaurs that he loves so much, cheesy special effects, and now Kenzan is a dinosaur straight out of that sequence from Fantasia. My reference pool has no limits! Mr. T tells Kenzan that this was his past life, and he is overjoyed at how awesome that is, a sentiment that would make more sense if he were five years old. Then Kenzan sees a baby Triceratops, and goes to eat it. It is a very clean, not at all messy or bloody kill, blah blah blah, the strong eat the weak in the world Kenzan loves so much, and now this will become his curse. Kenzan's all WTF, the fossil in his leg begins to glow, and Mr. T "reveals" that that fossil came from a dinosaur that Kenzan had eaten in a past life! OH NOES! Kenzan is wrapped up in darkness, and Mr. T goes on about how a man sows, so shall he reap, and I can't even laugh; this is beyond anything I've ever seen in my life. I fear I will never laugh again, because nothing can ever be this hilarious again, ever. And the scene's not even over yet! Kenzan is attacked by dinosaurs, writhes in pain, and the fact that Mr. T is making up all this just to troll Kenzan just makes it even funnier. Seriously, Kenzan is acting like Luke when he found out that Darth Vader was his father, only its that he ate dinosaurs. Kenzan, you are worthless, and I welcome the moment when Mr. T wipes all memory of your existence into oblivion. Mr. T, satisfied with his trolling, finally takes his turn while Kenzan continues to whine and moan like a three year old who was denied a pudding cup. Mr. T plays Premature Burial, paying 800 life points to bring back Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV 6, plays Magical Stone Excavation and discards two cards for Level Up, plays that to sacrifice LV 6 for LV 8, and the music tries its hardest to sell this as a dire turn of events. It fails miserably. And now Burial from Another Dimension to return three of Kenzan's removed from play Dinos back to his grave, reducing Tyranno Infinity's attack power to 1000. Mr. T attacks, Kenzan is defeated, and he vanishes from existence. And now Judai and Johan are on the speedboat, heading back to Duel Academia. So in summation, nothing was accomplished by Judai going to Domino City, and thus there was no point to the past four or so episodes. Moreso than they were already pointless by virtue of being in GX I mean. Blah blah blah, Judai hopes everyone is safe in order to invoke irony, and the episode ends.
NEXT TIME! Blah blah blah, the students of Duel Academia continue to drop like flies by virtue of not being Judai, EPISODE TITLE, THE INVASION OF DARKNESS! STOLEN MEMORIES card of the week is tyranno infinity
All throughout season 2, they kept building up Kenzan as being so damn important, and now he's just getting curb-stomped by everything. It's so sad, it becomes hilarious on an unprecedented level.