Sadness Baths and Geopolitical Problem Solving: Aka Cy has thoughts
Normally I would just post this over on tumblr but it's long and tumblr hates me right now. So the point is I have now seen 'The Treaty' twice and have watched the preview clip for 'Smallest Park'. And given this and what I've read of the spoilers for the next two episodes, I have some thoughts that I'm working through regarding this arc.
These thoughts then merge into some more general considerations regarding what I'm doing with Take a Bow.
Upfront disclaimer - I have enjoyed the way the Parks writers have handled the break-up in absolutely every ep this season. Even the ones where I wasn’t thrilled on first viewing, I can look back in retrospect and go ‘yup, that was exactly right’ and I can see exactly where the characters were emotionally in relation to where they were headed. I freely acknowledge that the amount of deconstruction and thought that’s about to happen will likely prove to be ridiculous worry for nothing. Also, I’m in the middle of trying to write a fic for these two smack dab in the midst of this arc. So I’m thinking about this in far more depth and from way too many angles than is rational or appropriate for any show lets alone something as happy as Parks.
And yet, watch me lay my thoughts out anyway . . .
Here's the thing. I have been waiting for about twelve episodes for Leslie to see Ben. Not just in terms of how he's fun to be around and fits her perfectly (which I think she does by now, and I could even say she’s well on her way to being in love with him for those reasons). But to see Ben the way he sees her, as an awesome person that she loves and admires for who he is, independent of whether or not he is with her (and I’m going to include friendship as part of the ‘with’ because that seems to be Leslie’s partial emotional substitute). I thought that was part of what we'd get as a component of Leslie's arc in her decision for them to get back together. That seems to be significantly less likely as time passes.
(SIDE NOTE I think some of this need stems from a vague difficulty I have with getting a precise read on Leslie’s feelings. Not because she doesn’t have any but Leslie cares about everything so much. She’s not April for whom one smile speaks volumes. She’s not even Ben in early season 3, who seemed to come suddenly wonderfully alive in her presence. Leslie is already open. She is already alive. Her life is already incredibly fulfilled and complete with or without Ben. There was no hole for him to fill, nothing for him to fix. So the changes, the effect is subtler than both what we’ve seen from April/Andy and from Ben. And I think in some ways it’s the difficulty of looking for those extra-special feelings in a woman so full of feelings for the entire world that can sometimes seem like trying to read an inkblot and you don’t know whether it’s really there or you’re just projecting. Which leads to my irrational need for more clarity.)
Instead what we seem to be getting is Leslie watching Ben slip through her fingers in stages until eventually it will be one stage too far. So we got the end of their romantic relationship in 'End of the World' and granted she didn't react well to realizing Ben wasn't on hold, and she tried to fight it, and maybe she got as far as 'If the world were ending I'd be with him'. But then again I know that if the world were ending I'd like to be with my parents. This doesn't mean I'm moving back to my hometown anytime soon. Like Ron said the sun rose the next day and in that light of day in a world where she has to live with the consequences of her decisions in the long term, she decides she can live without the romance.
Then in "The Treaty" you get that while Leslie may be willing to live without the romance she obviously intends to fight for the friendship. Which is great I'm so glad that's that important to her. That she's now told Ben to his face that she needs him in her life in some way. And I will be the first to say, Ben was a jerk in this ep. It was a glorious thing. But his statement about Leslie trying to carve up their relationship like a buffet and choose the pieces she wants (or at least trying to take as much of him as she's allowed to have) wasn't that far off. And while part of me is so proud of her for continuing to fight for every little piece of him she can get because that is so Leslie to never accept defeat easily or gracefully . . .
I'm not thrilled by this apparent continuing reaction of Leslie's that seems to feel it's not okay for Ben to set different boundaries than the ones she wants. I get that she's hurt by his continual pulling away, but it feels . . . I don't know, it feels like as much as she wants him in her life, she's not really paying that much attention to his feelings (in reverse I suppose one could say he’s not paying attention to hers, idk). Leslie talked about how straightforward she was with Ben in “The Treaty”, but the thing is Ben's being just as straightforward. He tells her what he wants, what he needs and her reaction is to be just as hurt and try to convince him otherwise. Of course I can see the character read that that’s because her emotions for him are just that strong that they override her rationality and her ability to give him the space she would be able to if she didn’t feel so deeply. This is completely legitimate, and I am less bothered by this now that I have finished this paragraph than I was when I started it (this is how my mind works).
Okay so point:
This all feels like it's leading up to a moment where Ben pulls away one step too far for her. In this case discontinuing their working relationship on top of everything else. And the fact that she'll lose him entirely is the catalyst to make her say okay obviously this isn’t working so I'll go all in if that's what it takes to keep you. I think it's actually fairly consistent from a character perspective. First of all, Leslie can put a positive spin on just about anything, so I could see her being able to see the sun instead of the clouds in being just friends with Ben but that maybe she couldn’t find that positive spin if he was gone entirely. Also Leslie has always seen Ben most clearly when she's about to lose him (“Fancy Party”, “I’m Leslie Knope” “End of the World”). But there is a part that saddens me to think that if he'd just agreed to stay friends to give her the time with him she wants that way . . . maybe she never would take that leap. Maybe the friendship would totally be enough for her. And it makes me a little wary about the idea of Ben giving up his job over this (though I'm still maintaining that's going to be as much about his sense of responsibility as the 'technical boss' as anything, in which case I completely buy it for separate reasons).
I also acknowledge I am greedy, and am probably asking for more from Leslie than is fair to her as a character. Because any way you slice it and no matter what causes her to make the decision, Leslie being willing to put her job/reputation on the line is no small matter. It will without a doubt be a huge statement on her part, and none of what I have said above should be taken to belittle the importance of that in any way.
Now with all this said. First of all I could be completely wrong. Parks can cram an astonishing amount of character storytelling into one ep. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve floored me with resolving the character issues in a way I didn’t exactly expect.
Second of all, and I think possibly even more likely, I could see the Parks writers deliberately holding that 'Flu Season' moment (or series of moments) for Leslie where she sees Ben as awesome independent of her back for the latter half of the season. I think it could be an interesting arc to give them as an established couple and somewhat true to how many relationships actually develop. Where one part of the couple starts off as dominant but as they grow together the 'dominant' personality comes to rely on and admire the 'subordinate' personality in a way they didn't necessarily at the start. And honestly the more I think about it, the more I think that if that’s what Parks is doing, it would be really smart. That it could be a great way to leave their relationship places to go and grow once they’re together, that didn’t necessarily require ‘a ring’ or ‘a baby’ or any of the other typical milestone cliches.
But I will continue to want it until I get it, dammit. (Because sometimes I’m an emotional two-year-old)
Take a Bow: Okay what this all has to do with Take a Bow. I feel like given this past ep and the preview clip I'm at a bit of a crossroads in what I think I want to do with this fic. My original plan and scene outlines had been to veer off after 'End of the World' and essentially write a fic for them where they were a little slower to get back together and in that time some things happened that did give Leslie a chance to really have that 'Flu Season' moment for Ben. (And maybe they also weren't quite so orderly and neat about how they got back together).
Now though I'm starting to wonder if maybe I want to hold the fic for another week, see what Smallest Park gives me to work with and do the whole thing as a companion piece. Essentially working the entire piece similar to the opening chapter, where it gives you all the scenes you didn't see both in between and during eps that lead to these kind of emotional decisions/reactions by both characters.
Thoughts? Is there a version you out there on livejournal and tumblr would like to see more?
These thoughts then merge into some more general considerations regarding what I'm doing with Take a Bow.
Upfront disclaimer - I have enjoyed the way the Parks writers have handled the break-up in absolutely every ep this season. Even the ones where I wasn’t thrilled on first viewing, I can look back in retrospect and go ‘yup, that was exactly right’ and I can see exactly where the characters were emotionally in relation to where they were headed. I freely acknowledge that the amount of deconstruction and thought that’s about to happen will likely prove to be ridiculous worry for nothing. Also, I’m in the middle of trying to write a fic for these two smack dab in the midst of this arc. So I’m thinking about this in far more depth and from way too many angles than is rational or appropriate for any show lets alone something as happy as Parks.
And yet, watch me lay my thoughts out anyway . . .
Here's the thing. I have been waiting for about twelve episodes for Leslie to see Ben. Not just in terms of how he's fun to be around and fits her perfectly (which I think she does by now, and I could even say she’s well on her way to being in love with him for those reasons). But to see Ben the way he sees her, as an awesome person that she loves and admires for who he is, independent of whether or not he is with her (and I’m going to include friendship as part of the ‘with’ because that seems to be Leslie’s partial emotional substitute). I thought that was part of what we'd get as a component of Leslie's arc in her decision for them to get back together. That seems to be significantly less likely as time passes.
(SIDE NOTE I think some of this need stems from a vague difficulty I have with getting a precise read on Leslie’s feelings. Not because she doesn’t have any but Leslie cares about everything so much. She’s not April for whom one smile speaks volumes. She’s not even Ben in early season 3, who seemed to come suddenly wonderfully alive in her presence. Leslie is already open. She is already alive. Her life is already incredibly fulfilled and complete with or without Ben. There was no hole for him to fill, nothing for him to fix. So the changes, the effect is subtler than both what we’ve seen from April/Andy and from Ben. And I think in some ways it’s the difficulty of looking for those extra-special feelings in a woman so full of feelings for the entire world that can sometimes seem like trying to read an inkblot and you don’t know whether it’s really there or you’re just projecting. Which leads to my irrational need for more clarity.)
Instead what we seem to be getting is Leslie watching Ben slip through her fingers in stages until eventually it will be one stage too far. So we got the end of their romantic relationship in 'End of the World' and granted she didn't react well to realizing Ben wasn't on hold, and she tried to fight it, and maybe she got as far as 'If the world were ending I'd be with him'. But then again I know that if the world were ending I'd like to be with my parents. This doesn't mean I'm moving back to my hometown anytime soon. Like Ron said the sun rose the next day and in that light of day in a world where she has to live with the consequences of her decisions in the long term, she decides she can live without the romance.
Then in "The Treaty" you get that while Leslie may be willing to live without the romance she obviously intends to fight for the friendship. Which is great I'm so glad that's that important to her. That she's now told Ben to his face that she needs him in her life in some way. And I will be the first to say, Ben was a jerk in this ep. It was a glorious thing. But his statement about Leslie trying to carve up their relationship like a buffet and choose the pieces she wants (or at least trying to take as much of him as she's allowed to have) wasn't that far off. And while part of me is so proud of her for continuing to fight for every little piece of him she can get because that is so Leslie to never accept defeat easily or gracefully . . .
I'm not thrilled by this apparent continuing reaction of Leslie's that seems to feel it's not okay for Ben to set different boundaries than the ones she wants. I get that she's hurt by his continual pulling away, but it feels . . . I don't know, it feels like as much as she wants him in her life, she's not really paying that much attention to his feelings (in reverse I suppose one could say he’s not paying attention to hers, idk). Leslie talked about how straightforward she was with Ben in “The Treaty”, but the thing is Ben's being just as straightforward. He tells her what he wants, what he needs and her reaction is to be just as hurt and try to convince him otherwise. Of course I can see the character read that that’s because her emotions for him are just that strong that they override her rationality and her ability to give him the space she would be able to if she didn’t feel so deeply. This is completely legitimate, and I am less bothered by this now that I have finished this paragraph than I was when I started it (this is how my mind works).
Okay so point:
This all feels like it's leading up to a moment where Ben pulls away one step too far for her. In this case discontinuing their working relationship on top of everything else. And the fact that she'll lose him entirely is the catalyst to make her say okay obviously this isn’t working so I'll go all in if that's what it takes to keep you. I think it's actually fairly consistent from a character perspective. First of all, Leslie can put a positive spin on just about anything, so I could see her being able to see the sun instead of the clouds in being just friends with Ben but that maybe she couldn’t find that positive spin if he was gone entirely. Also Leslie has always seen Ben most clearly when she's about to lose him (“Fancy Party”, “I’m Leslie Knope” “End of the World”). But there is a part that saddens me to think that if he'd just agreed to stay friends to give her the time with him she wants that way . . . maybe she never would take that leap. Maybe the friendship would totally be enough for her. And it makes me a little wary about the idea of Ben giving up his job over this (though I'm still maintaining that's going to be as much about his sense of responsibility as the 'technical boss' as anything, in which case I completely buy it for separate reasons).
I also acknowledge I am greedy, and am probably asking for more from Leslie than is fair to her as a character. Because any way you slice it and no matter what causes her to make the decision, Leslie being willing to put her job/reputation on the line is no small matter. It will without a doubt be a huge statement on her part, and none of what I have said above should be taken to belittle the importance of that in any way.
Now with all this said. First of all I could be completely wrong. Parks can cram an astonishing amount of character storytelling into one ep. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve floored me with resolving the character issues in a way I didn’t exactly expect.
Second of all, and I think possibly even more likely, I could see the Parks writers deliberately holding that 'Flu Season' moment (or series of moments) for Leslie where she sees Ben as awesome independent of her back for the latter half of the season. I think it could be an interesting arc to give them as an established couple and somewhat true to how many relationships actually develop. Where one part of the couple starts off as dominant but as they grow together the 'dominant' personality comes to rely on and admire the 'subordinate' personality in a way they didn't necessarily at the start. And honestly the more I think about it, the more I think that if that’s what Parks is doing, it would be really smart. That it could be a great way to leave their relationship places to go and grow once they’re together, that didn’t necessarily require ‘a ring’ or ‘a baby’ or any of the other typical milestone cliches.
But I will continue to want it until I get it, dammit. (Because sometimes I’m an emotional two-year-old)
Take a Bow: Okay what this all has to do with Take a Bow. I feel like given this past ep and the preview clip I'm at a bit of a crossroads in what I think I want to do with this fic. My original plan and scene outlines had been to veer off after 'End of the World' and essentially write a fic for them where they were a little slower to get back together and in that time some things happened that did give Leslie a chance to really have that 'Flu Season' moment for Ben. (And maybe they also weren't quite so orderly and neat about how they got back together).
Now though I'm starting to wonder if maybe I want to hold the fic for another week, see what Smallest Park gives me to work with and do the whole thing as a companion piece. Essentially working the entire piece similar to the opening chapter, where it gives you all the scenes you didn't see both in between and during eps that lead to these kind of emotional decisions/reactions by both characters.
Thoughts? Is there a version you out there on livejournal and tumblr would like to see more?