I have come to share some fantastic news with you...
Tsk, tsk. You spammers are annoying.
Who gives a shit?
Everyone does. The whole world hates spammers like you.
Oh well. It gets me paid.
Wow, you’re a low life…
Whatever.
FATTY!
*cries* MOMMY!
You’re a fatty ‘cause you spam websites all day and all night.
*sniffles* I am not a fatty! Be strong, Edward, be strong.
OME. YOUR NAME IS EDWARD?!
Uh… yeah….
Shiz. Is your last name Cullen?!!?!
Actually, yes.
THE Edward Cullen?
Depends.
The one from Twilight?
Oh, yeah. That’s me.
Well, why are you a spammer?
It gets the bills paid. Ever since the government found out Alice could predict patterns in the stock market, we were forbidden to invest.
That’s too bad…. WAIT A SPUNKIN’ MINUTE! THE CULLENS DON’T EXIST! FATTY SPAMMER!
YES, WE DO! Stephenie actually based her story on us but no one knows…
Except me.
Well, yes.
MWUHAHAHAHAHA.
Wait, wait. Why did you just laugh evilly?
Cyncullen logged off at 12:34 PM.
This is what happened when I started talking to the spammers on HGE in my mind. And I came to share with you that the Cullens DO exist.
Cynthia