They do what his voice can't do. Jack often sounds impatient or exasperated-because he's sometimes inept at choosing the right words, especially when he doesn't even bother to try-but his impulses, however unconscious, are good.
If you can nail Jack that well within a single sentence, then I don't think that you have anything to worry about.
You're right, it does run roughshod over backstory in a way that would probably bother me in a longer piece, but for now I like this one very much as it is: a sweet, sensual (if I listed every vibrant and perfect sensory detail that you managed to pack into a relatively small space, we would be here all day), happy story. I liked it a lot.
Thanks so much for reading this, even though I didn't take the time to dig into the angst and totally earn it all. I just wanted something happy. Besides, it's all eponine119's fault.
Yes, this is out of my OTP, but hey, you all have made me read out of it so much lately, I had to read this...all I can say is..
HOLY FREAKIN' DAMN, HAIRCUTTING PRON..okay, I do have this kink, actually this image of Jack cutting Sawyer's hair, his legs scissoring slowly around Saywer's thigh, not even realizing what he's doing to him...
Yes, I know this isn't Sawyer, but for me, IT'S THE SAME BECAUSE THERE IS HAIRCUTTING INVOLVED.
**Have I ever told you that my all time most sensual scene in a movie was in "Out of Africa" when he washes her hair..followed closely by pretty much every sexual scene in "A Walk on the Moon"
You have hit my HIDDEN kink..and honestly, this is fantastic, even if you take out the grooming parts you still have Desmond watching those hands..watching Jack as they run and Jack never mocking about being faster, and and THAT DROP OF WATER that runs down Jack's back and into the waistband of his jeans.
**Have I ever told you that my all time most sensual scene in a movie was in "Out of Africa" when he washes her hair..followed closely by pretty much every sexual scene in "A Walk on the Moon"
*raises hand sheepishly* Um, I think we share the same kink. I still think that "Love of a Woman" is one of the hottest songs on the planet solely because it was on in the background during the haircutting/shaving scene in Phenomenon. Glad to know that my secret shame is not so unusual.
You're gonna have to stop talking about how it's so weird that you're reading outside your OTP--it seems like you're ALWAYS doing that nowadays. :)
But...I'm ALWAYS glad you're willing to do that, because I do love your feedback. I'm SO glad you liked this! I forget how much people like hair porn. And, really, drunk!Desmond has some hair that demands cutting and washing and pr0n. But I think the hand thing is even more of a kink for me.
See? Des is slashable! And yay for you for doing it. I love the idea of Jack/Desmond, and this exploration of that pairing is sweet and sensual and sexy. I like how you took pains to portray their hesitancy, but then the slow burn of desire that overwhelms it. The long buildup of the haircut & shave, the way they lean into each other, the way you describe how the bond built up over time - I love all that.
I don't really care about canon that much, you probably know that. I don't see why Penny should get in the way of slashing Des any more than Sara gets in the way with Jack, or Cass or any of Sawyer's other women get in the way w/him, or Nadia and Shannon w/Sayid. If we're gonna worry about canon, we're not gonna write slash, period. So I see no need to apologize for disregarding backstory. Hell, disregarding backstory is what we do as a matter of course! :)
I love this little bit for some reason. It just seems real to me:
When Jack lets out a low growl, Desmond lets his lips rest against his cheek as he says, "You've been driving
( ... )
I really thought you'd avoid this one for some reason (too cloyingly sweet or something). So I'm really happy you liked it.
If we're gonna worry about canon, we're not gonna write slash, period. So I see no need to apologize for disregarding backstory. Very true. But actually, the Penny thing wasn't what bothered me so much; it was more the knowledge that the post-hatch world is probably fraught with angst, and these boys have a good deal to work through, yet I simply slipped that in there as something long past, as if it was already understood by the reader. I didn't earn it. But, hell, it was character-driven PWP, so I don't feel too bad about the glossing over
( ... )
Hair porn! Brilliant and inspired. And so, so hot. Very much in character and very well-written, including the dialogue. Like Sawyer, Desmond's accent can be so overdone, but you've used just the right, light touch here.
I like the whole thing, but the beginning really spoke to me. Both the idea of cutting Desmond's hair as sort of a welcome back to society, even if it is only the society of the island, and also the kind of quiet longing as he seems to be sticking close to Jack, before he realizes that Jack has similar feelings for him.
I'm so glad you got Jack and Desmond to play nice together. :) I hope it happens again!
I blame you...for all of it. Jack and Desmond do play nice, don't they? :)
I really thought for a while that I was just indulging myself in hair porn and writing gallant!Jack for your sake (okay, and for my own, that's my shameful dirty Jack kink, LOL), but then the idea of what a shave would mean to Desmond sunk in and wouldn't let go.
Thanks so much for the suggestion and all the nice words here. You are ♥.
I do believe, girlie, that you just successfully slashed Desmond. *applause*
Hair porn, hand porn...PORN...it's like a trifecta of perfection.
Jack's hands are just...my god. My favorite kink. I love how you see Jack. How you write Jack. Everything about your Jack. It's all just so poetic and brilliant.
I will be back with better feedback on Thursday night 'cause tonight-thursday is gonna be crazy for me, but I just wanted to drop a note and let you know I read it and loved it like mad.
p.s. the bit about them running may have inspired me to write something of my own. perhaps. we shall see. ;)
My days are about to get crazy too, so I can sympathize. *hugs*
p.s. the bit about them running may have inspired me to write something of my own. perhaps. we shall see. ;)
You're a worse tease than Jack! But I'll forgive you, I guess. :) I'm so glad you liked this, even though I pulled Desmond away from his Penny. Thanks for the feedback!
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If you can nail Jack that well within a single sentence, then I don't think that you have anything to worry about.
You're right, it does run roughshod over backstory in a way that would probably bother me in a longer piece, but for now I like this one very much as it is: a sweet, sensual (if I listed every vibrant and perfect sensory detail that you managed to pack into a relatively small space, we would be here all day), happy story. I liked it a lot.
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I'm glad you liked it. :)
Reply
HOLY FREAKIN' DAMN, HAIRCUTTING PRON..okay, I do have this kink, actually this image of Jack cutting Sawyer's hair, his legs scissoring slowly around Saywer's thigh, not even realizing what he's doing to him...
Yes, I know this isn't Sawyer, but for me, IT'S THE SAME BECAUSE THERE IS HAIRCUTTING INVOLVED.
**Have I ever told you that my all time most sensual scene in a movie was in "Out of Africa" when he washes her hair..followed closely by pretty much every sexual scene in "A Walk on the Moon"
You have hit my HIDDEN kink..and honestly, this is fantastic, even if you take out the grooming parts you still have Desmond watching those hands..watching Jack as they run and Jack never mocking about being faster, and and THAT DROP OF WATER that runs down Jack's back and into the waistband of his jeans.
*sigh*
wait...
*sigh again*
Reply
*raises hand sheepishly* Um, I think we share the same kink. I still think that "Love of a Woman" is one of the hottest songs on the planet solely because it was on in the background during the haircutting/shaving scene in Phenomenon. Glad to know that my secret shame is not so unusual.
Reply
But...I'm ALWAYS glad you're willing to do that, because I do love your feedback. I'm SO glad you liked this! I forget how much people like hair porn. And, really, drunk!Desmond has some hair that demands cutting and washing and pr0n. But I think the hand thing is even more of a kink for me.
Thanks. *smooches*
Reply
I don't really care about canon that much, you probably know that. I don't see why Penny should get in the way of slashing Des any more than Sara gets in the way with Jack, or Cass or any of Sawyer's other women get in the way w/him, or Nadia and Shannon w/Sayid. If we're gonna worry about canon, we're not gonna write slash, period. So I see no need to apologize for disregarding backstory. Hell, disregarding backstory is what we do as a matter of course! :)
I love this little bit for some reason. It just seems real to me:
When Jack lets out a low growl, Desmond lets his lips rest against his cheek as he says, "You've been driving ( ... )
Reply
I really thought you'd avoid this one for some reason (too cloyingly sweet or something). So I'm really happy you liked it.
If we're gonna worry about canon, we're not gonna write slash, period. So I see no need to apologize for disregarding backstory. Very true. But actually, the Penny thing wasn't what bothered me so much; it was more the knowledge that the post-hatch world is probably fraught with angst, and these boys have a good deal to work through, yet I simply slipped that in there as something long past, as if it was already understood by the reader. I didn't earn it. But, hell, it was character-driven PWP, so I don't feel too bad about the glossing over ( ... )
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I like the whole thing, but the beginning really spoke to me. Both the idea of cutting Desmond's hair as sort of a welcome back to society, even if it is only the society of the island, and also the kind of quiet longing as he seems to be sticking close to Jack, before he realizes that Jack has similar feelings for him.
I'm so glad you got Jack and Desmond to play nice together. :) I hope it happens again!
Reply
I really thought for a while that I was just indulging myself in hair porn and writing gallant!Jack for your sake (okay, and for my own, that's my shameful dirty Jack kink, LOL), but then the idea of what a shave would mean to Desmond sunk in and wouldn't let go.
Thanks so much for the suggestion and all the nice words here. You are ♥.
Reply
Hair porn, hand porn...PORN...it's like a trifecta of perfection.
Jack's hands are just...my god. My favorite kink. I love how you see Jack. How you write Jack. Everything about your Jack. It's all just so poetic and brilliant.
I will be back with better feedback on Thursday night 'cause tonight-thursday is gonna be crazy for me, but I just wanted to drop a note and let you know I read it and loved it like mad.
p.s. the bit about them running may have inspired me to write something of my own. perhaps. we shall see. ;)
Reply
p.s. the bit about them running may have inspired me to write something of my own. perhaps. we shall see. ;)
You're a worse tease than Jack! But I'll forgive you, I guess. :) I'm so glad you liked this, even though I pulled Desmond away from his Penny. Thanks for the feedback!
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