THE COMING OF THE MODERN WORLD.
Someone not so historically inclined recently asked the question “Why do things go the way that they do?” In this passage, an expert historian tells the tale of how the world came to be. Prior to this time, there was an archaic land, ancient, and perhaps rather primitive in thought. There were heightened levels of architecture, road ways and infrastructure; material modernisation was in effect during this time. The history of the world began with primordial soup, followed by the Big Bang. Shortly after that, the empire emerged with amazing force.
Archeologists have only been able to recover but small snippets of the civilisation; as ones as old as this one have been long gone, and buried so far down into our precious earth that they are difficult to excavate.
The writing style has been inspired by a contemporary historian, Roni82000. Presented here, (in abridged form) is the answer to our friends question.
And things go the way that they do simply because life is a cold, hopeless, dank and dark place where no one ever escapes to a land of shining stars and bright blue skies. We are doomed by virtue of our existence to remain helpless self-pitying fools. Hobbes said that life is 'poor nasty brutish and short.' That was what? 300 years ago and he knew what the hell he was talking about. (Ok so that was the state of nature, and 'supposedly' we're not in that, but I am not so sure that I agree with that whole concept) In that magical land where the skies are that weird color blue, things were alright until a menacing maniac came in and ended the life there rather abruptly. There is a story floating around that it happened because he denounced human nature, and went on his own person war to enslave the population to conform to his standards. Certainly he believed with full conviction that it was a substantially better living environment. The story gets a bit hazy around there, and the next thing we know, the tale is filled with the triumphs of said dick heads mission. Most unfortunately, as history tells us, he won. There since. the world has increasingly been drawn to his (then) revolutionary ideals.
The history in more detail:
We do not know the name of the revolutionary. Napoleon, Hitler and Mussolini were (not surprisingly) respectful of the revolutionary, but it is rumored that he did try to emulate him, and wanted his name. With his respect as it was, they did not feel worthy of the true name. They then altered theirs to the forms that we know today. This leads experts to believe that the revolutionary’s name originally began as (and there is substantial evidence to conclude) something similar to Naphilermous- or the simplified Bob Barker, which explains the modern enigma. As for Napoleon, Hitler and Mussolini, the three changed their names to encompass the idolized figure, incorporating part of it to their native languages, making the modern label. Their birth names were Al Sharpton, Newt Gingrich, and Roy Rogers.
The revolutionary set up primitive land mines across the land. When detonated, they separated the earth into seven continents. This is the modern geography of the earth. He specifically laid out more in some areas, as to put more distance between some land masses. After this, he partitioned out the people based on unsophisticated designs, in order to schism the people of the empire. They were placed in specified lands so that they would be in conflict based on careful lines. (These distinctions are drawn out in the Doctrine.) Prior to this, the distinctions employed were unknown to the citizens of Happiness.
The revolutionary emerged from a tiny island off the coast, which is now called Cuba. Ancient Cuba was the only island not connected to the mainland, where the empire flourished. On a raft created by the monkeys he later ate on his voyage, he came to the empire and began his propaganda and master minded a coup. Once the coup de tat was successful, and it was ensured the remainder of the population would succumb to his demands, he wrote out a proclamation, a constitution of his new land and the infiltrated propaganda altered the minds of the subjects. Said constitution intended to instruct the society as well as the mind in full; a goal fully manifested within the newly fledging empire at rapid speeds.
The doctrine for his mission included words Lie, Cheat, Steal, (the contemporary band ‘Tool’ was quite political in nature) Hell, Dick-over, Lowly, War, Secret, Tally-Ban (the primitive form of the group; later changed to adjust to growing Arab influence) Illegitimate, Abuse, Usurp, Dynasty, as well as a term which has finally been best translated to Thin With Big Breasts. It is reported that the word ‘fuck’ was included more than six hundred times.
All were in bold, italicized and highlighted.
Scholars have frequently tried to summarize the document, charging that the doctrine is far too lengthy to have the average person read and understand. Perhaps this is unnecessary as the world has made it a part of their own human nature, and thus, where as human nature was a mystery studied in great detail, it no longer needs to be as the whole platform and structure is laid out in the document. With that said, it does not even need to be read. Look around.
Now, for what happened to the magical land- It was a modest empire called “Happiness.” The revolutionary entered and the irritated sighs that he would do every fifteen minutes or so expelled a giant black cloud each time. That ultimately turned all the skies a dismal hue of gray/black. He stomped his feet in fits upon all the lands until all the grass was brown and beaten. The fuzzy bunnies that pranced the land were shot to death by 9 mm guns. The abundant butterfly population was saturated with pesticides. Most cherished water supplies were drank by him alone, while the rest were urinated in as per the request of the revolutionary. He successfully factioned out the religions, pitting them against each other with claims the others’ God was false, or better, which ever was more effective. He emasculated the men via a sharp tactics package including driving a faster car, having a larger penis, fucking more women, drinking the last beer in each and every man’s fridge.
And worst of all, he dated all the women at some point. Well, that was the end for this half of the species.
He preserved some of the early forms of commerce and other structures he deemed necessary for the New Order. People made them more ‘modern’ as the times prevailed, and human nature evolved into what it is today. That is why today we find Cocca’s Hotel, NYSE, and Michael Jackson’s Neverland.
There were some pockets of resistance during this time. however, they were quelled with bribes and scantily clad women. Resistance from the women happened seldom, as they had already dated the revolutionary and been converted. Where short bursts did occur from the women, the quite susceptible men had gotten to the hopeful and ensured change. The conflict between traditionalism and modernity did not last long.
It was a relatively quick process towards change.
Thus, all of the peoples were embittered and adjusted to remain that way for all eternity. Here we have the end of Happiness, and the emergence of the modern state. This is why things go the way that we go. Hope you enjoyed your fabulous history lesson. 04012005
Archeologists have only been able to recover but small snippets of the civilisation; as ones as old as this one have been long gone, and buried so far down into our precious earth that they are difficult to excavate.
The writing style has been inspired by a contemporary historian, Roni82000. Presented here, (in abridged form) is the answer to our friends question.
And things go the way that they do simply because life is a cold, hopeless, dank and dark place where no one ever escapes to a land of shining stars and bright blue skies. We are doomed by virtue of our existence to remain helpless self-pitying fools. Hobbes said that life is 'poor nasty brutish and short.' That was what? 300 years ago and he knew what the hell he was talking about. (Ok so that was the state of nature, and 'supposedly' we're not in that, but I am not so sure that I agree with that whole concept) In that magical land where the skies are that weird color blue, things were alright until a menacing maniac came in and ended the life there rather abruptly. There is a story floating around that it happened because he denounced human nature, and went on his own person war to enslave the population to conform to his standards. Certainly he believed with full conviction that it was a substantially better living environment. The story gets a bit hazy around there, and the next thing we know, the tale is filled with the triumphs of said dick heads mission. Most unfortunately, as history tells us, he won. There since. the world has increasingly been drawn to his (then) revolutionary ideals.
The history in more detail:
We do not know the name of the revolutionary. Napoleon, Hitler and Mussolini were (not surprisingly) respectful of the revolutionary, but it is rumored that he did try to emulate him, and wanted his name. With his respect as it was, they did not feel worthy of the true name. They then altered theirs to the forms that we know today. This leads experts to believe that the revolutionary’s name originally began as (and there is substantial evidence to conclude) something similar to Naphilermous- or the simplified Bob Barker, which explains the modern enigma. As for Napoleon, Hitler and Mussolini, the three changed their names to encompass the idolized figure, incorporating part of it to their native languages, making the modern label. Their birth names were Al Sharpton, Newt Gingrich, and Roy Rogers.
The revolutionary set up primitive land mines across the land. When detonated, they separated the earth into seven continents. This is the modern geography of the earth. He specifically laid out more in some areas, as to put more distance between some land masses. After this, he partitioned out the people based on unsophisticated designs, in order to schism the people of the empire. They were placed in specified lands so that they would be in conflict based on careful lines. (These distinctions are drawn out in the Doctrine.) Prior to this, the distinctions employed were unknown to the citizens of Happiness.
The revolutionary emerged from a tiny island off the coast, which is now called Cuba. Ancient Cuba was the only island not connected to the mainland, where the empire flourished. On a raft created by the monkeys he later ate on his voyage, he came to the empire and began his propaganda and master minded a coup. Once the coup de tat was successful, and it was ensured the remainder of the population would succumb to his demands, he wrote out a proclamation, a constitution of his new land and the infiltrated propaganda altered the minds of the subjects. Said constitution intended to instruct the society as well as the mind in full; a goal fully manifested within the newly fledging empire at rapid speeds.
The doctrine for his mission included words Lie, Cheat, Steal, (the contemporary band ‘Tool’ was quite political in nature) Hell, Dick-over, Lowly, War, Secret, Tally-Ban (the primitive form of the group; later changed to adjust to growing Arab influence) Illegitimate, Abuse, Usurp, Dynasty, as well as a term which has finally been best translated to Thin With Big Breasts. It is reported that the word ‘fuck’ was included more than six hundred times.
All were in bold, italicized and highlighted.
Scholars have frequently tried to summarize the document, charging that the doctrine is far too lengthy to have the average person read and understand. Perhaps this is unnecessary as the world has made it a part of their own human nature, and thus, where as human nature was a mystery studied in great detail, it no longer needs to be as the whole platform and structure is laid out in the document. With that said, it does not even need to be read. Look around.
Now, for what happened to the magical land- It was a modest empire called “Happiness.” The revolutionary entered and the irritated sighs that he would do every fifteen minutes or so expelled a giant black cloud each time. That ultimately turned all the skies a dismal hue of gray/black. He stomped his feet in fits upon all the lands until all the grass was brown and beaten. The fuzzy bunnies that pranced the land were shot to death by 9 mm guns. The abundant butterfly population was saturated with pesticides. Most cherished water supplies were drank by him alone, while the rest were urinated in as per the request of the revolutionary. He successfully factioned out the religions, pitting them against each other with claims the others’ God was false, or better, which ever was more effective. He emasculated the men via a sharp tactics package including driving a faster car, having a larger penis, fucking more women, drinking the last beer in each and every man’s fridge.
And worst of all, he dated all the women at some point. Well, that was the end for this half of the species.
He preserved some of the early forms of commerce and other structures he deemed necessary for the New Order. People made them more ‘modern’ as the times prevailed, and human nature evolved into what it is today. That is why today we find Cocca’s Hotel, NYSE, and Michael Jackson’s Neverland.
There were some pockets of resistance during this time. however, they were quelled with bribes and scantily clad women. Resistance from the women happened seldom, as they had already dated the revolutionary and been converted. Where short bursts did occur from the women, the quite susceptible men had gotten to the hopeful and ensured change. The conflict between traditionalism and modernity did not last long.
It was a relatively quick process towards change.
Thus, all of the peoples were embittered and adjusted to remain that way for all eternity. Here we have the end of Happiness, and the emergence of the modern state. This is why things go the way that we go. Hope you enjoyed your fabulous history lesson. 04012005