A Year in Review
2006 was a year of endings and beginnings for me. I left Palestine, finished my MA (finally), moved away from DC, ended a quasi-relationship and learned to step back and let my family take care of themselves. I moved to Afghanistan, landed my first job that is actually in my career and really moved outside of my comfort zone in a lot of ways, both in my personal relationships in my more public life.
Of course, there are always constants - wonderful people in my life that have been there for years and continue to be; my writing; and my sarcastic inner dialogue.
For the first time in many years I am comfortable with being alone, spending large amounts of time by myself and not being in a committed relationship. I'm not homesick, in that I'm not counting down the days until I go home, although I do look foward to seeing my family and friends and I don't think I will stay in Afghanistan forever.
Of course, I don't know what 2007 will bring, but I suspect it will be a lot of new beginnings, and maybe some continuations of other experiences. I am reflecting on these things for a number of reasons: I've been invited to apply to stay here with my NGO for a full year from April as a regular employee instead of a consultant; the Gender Advisor turned in her letter of resignation, meaning that I will be doing two peoples' jobs for a while; a relationship that I thought was finished has suddenly rekindled at a most unexpected time. I will have a lot of big decisions to make this year, and the ramifications of those decisions will be with me for many years. That said, I'm not nervous or even as stressed as I should be - I feel like things will work out as they should. All I can do is pay attention to what is going on around me and make the best decisions I can based on what I know and feel. So, what's the point in worrying about it?
Well, that's how I feel right at this moment - but who knows how quickly it will change? Today is my last day of vacation, and I suspect I may have a different view tomorrow. Guess I'd better enjoy this little pocket of serenity while it lasts...
Of course, there are always constants - wonderful people in my life that have been there for years and continue to be; my writing; and my sarcastic inner dialogue.
For the first time in many years I am comfortable with being alone, spending large amounts of time by myself and not being in a committed relationship. I'm not homesick, in that I'm not counting down the days until I go home, although I do look foward to seeing my family and friends and I don't think I will stay in Afghanistan forever.
Of course, I don't know what 2007 will bring, but I suspect it will be a lot of new beginnings, and maybe some continuations of other experiences. I am reflecting on these things for a number of reasons: I've been invited to apply to stay here with my NGO for a full year from April as a regular employee instead of a consultant; the Gender Advisor turned in her letter of resignation, meaning that I will be doing two peoples' jobs for a while; a relationship that I thought was finished has suddenly rekindled at a most unexpected time. I will have a lot of big decisions to make this year, and the ramifications of those decisions will be with me for many years. That said, I'm not nervous or even as stressed as I should be - I feel like things will work out as they should. All I can do is pay attention to what is going on around me and make the best decisions I can based on what I know and feel. So, what's the point in worrying about it?
Well, that's how I feel right at this moment - but who knows how quickly it will change? Today is my last day of vacation, and I suspect I may have a different view tomorrow. Guess I'd better enjoy this little pocket of serenity while it lasts...