(no subject)
ben broke up with me and it wasn't my fault. It hurts. He said he needs to get his life in order and that graduating in 10 weeks and entering the work force is a very stressful thing and that he needs to fix himself and the problems he has. He stil wants to be friends though and Ben is an invaluable friend to have since he is very supportive. Parts of me want to go on myspace be childish as shit and delete him from my friends list and put nasty comments on his page and tell him he's a fucking bastard. But what can I do? I've hurt myself already and I'm lad that i'm too afriad to die or else i would of cut higher and harder. I called my mom and told her that ben and i weren't coming to dinner tomorrow and she's worried enough to come pick me up. I just don't want her to launch into this whole he's an asshole lecture though. I really liked Ben and he surprised me by doing this. And I want to find a reason why this can be my fault but it isn't. I want to say sorry but I can't. I want to curl up into a ball and dissappear. I don't want everything else to dissappear because then I'd be alone and thats the last thing I want.