HP!VERSE EUNHAE
Title: Time Goes By, But Still (It's You)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (Implied Heechul/Eeteuk/Donghae)
A/N: Written for fading_sun_sock with massive amounts of help from phasera. Forgive me.
Hyukjae first runs into Donghae at Platform 9 and 3/4, literally, just before the start of their first year. Before he is Eunhyuk, before Donghae refuses to refer to him by that name. Before Heechul and Eeteuk, before sortings and houses. Before there are boundaries, before there are rivalries, before there are friends and foes and giant squids and crystal balls.
"Sorry," Hyukjae mumbles, flushing with embarrassment.
"Okay," Donghae chirps, as if Hyukjae hadn't just ran through a wall and directly into his own trolley, knocking his trunk onto the ground.
They sit in the same compartment, and Donghae tells Hyukjae everything there is to know about the Hogwarts; well, as much as his parents had told him. Hyukjae listens with wide eyes, trembling with excitement, because he was raised by a muggle mother, and has no idea about anything in this strange new world. Donghae seems to be a fountain of knowledge to Hyukjae, and as they inhale their cauldron cakes and share a flask of pumpkin juice, he listens as Donghae rambles on cheerfully about a sport where you fly around on broomsticks. Hyukjae feels a pang of jealousy as he listens, and wishes he had grown up in this world, too.
When two second years come into their compartment, Hyukjae clams up, but Donghae greets them gracefully, as if he is expecting them. He introduces himself, and then Hyukjae when he makes no sound, and the boy with the long black hair makes some disparaging comment about mutes and idiots. They stay for a bit longer, completely ignoring the silent Hyukjae, and seem very interested in Donghae. We're Slytherins, they tell him, and hopefully we'll see you in our house. They slip out just as suddenly as they had come in, leaving Hyukjae with even more questions than he'd had to begin with. Hyukjae isn't sure he wants to see those boys ever again, but he thinks it will be worth it as long as he gets to stay with Donghae.
Just in case, you know, he has any questions.
"SLYTHERIN!" is where the talking hat sends Donghae. And Donghae smiles at Hyukjae, gives him a thumbs up, and bounces over to the sea of green and silver to sit next to the boys from the train who are gesturing for him to join them. When "Lee, Hyukjae!" is called, he sits carefully upon the bench, and the hat is placed on his head. Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin, he thinks to himself repeatedly, before he is interrupted by the sorting hat.
Most definitely not Slytherin... it says thoughtfully. Hyukjae feels his stomach sink. No, you were absolutely meant for--
"GRYFFINDOR!"
He glances sadly over toward Donghae, who smiles back at him as if to reassure him that they can still be friends. Hyukjae wishes he could share the same confidence, as he catches Heechul's eye. Things don't look too promising.
~.~.~.~.~
By their second year, Hyukjae and Donghae are nearly inseparable.
They sit next to each other in the classes they share, and often get detention together as a result. They send paper planes flying at each other during meals, much to Heechul's dismay. If Eunhyuk's happen to hit the older Slytherin in the head, it's only because the wind blows them off course, surely. A few students shoot them curious glances, most cast venomous glares in their direction. But it doesn't matter, not yet, not while they're young and careless and so caught up with being friends that they don't notice no one else wants them to be.
They walk together down the halls, green and red, silver and gold, otherwise very much alike. Maybe Hyukjae's gums show a bit too much when he grins (as Junsu likes to tease). And maybe Donghae flits around with more energy than six first years combined (as Sungmin likes to whine). But they just don't care, because they're Hyukjae and Donghae, and nothing can pull them apart so easily.
"What if we grow apart?" Hyukjae asks one night after curfew, as they lounge atop the Astronomy Tower and take in lungfuls of moist air.
"We won't," Donghae sighs, closing his eyes and enjoying the smell of the coming rain.
"What if we end up in different classes, or get sick of each other, or get girlfriends and are too busy for each other?" Hyukjae bites his bottom lip, and glances over to Donghae. "What if Heechul and Eeteuk tell you you can't hang out with me, so we stop talking?" The Slytherin turns sideways and props himself up on his elbow.
"I said we won't," Donghae assures him earnestly. "I promise, no matter what happens, we'll still be friends. No one can tell us we can't. Okay?"
Hyukjae frowns uncertainly, but finally just lays back down as the first specks of rain fall around them. "As long as you promise."
"I do. And besides," Donghae smiles into the raindrops, "you couldn't get a girlfriend if you tried, so how could that ever come between us anyway?"
Hyukjae elbows Donghae in the side sharply, and their laughter is masked by a roll of thunder.
And Hyukjae holds on to that promise, even as second year progresses, and Donghae spends more and more time with his own friends, and Hyukjae spends more and more time with his. Hyukjae is nicknamed Eunhyuk by his dorm-mates, and Donghae melts into EeteukandHeechul, and if they do slowly drift apart, Hyukjae (Eunhyuk) pretends not to notice.
~.~.~.~.~
Eunhyuk may admire Donghae, but it's only because they're good friends, and in his third year he repeatedly assures himself of this. And he only gets that lightheaded feeling when Donghae's eyes meet his from across the Great Hall because he's envious. He only wishes his eyes would sparkle like that, too. And that the world would shudder to a stop when other people look at him. He just envies Donghae's natural charisma, and wishes he could be the one to break eye contact first, for once.
He shoves food into his mouth with renewed vigor, ignoring Kangin's raised eyebrow beside him, and thinks about anything (nothing) but those eyes.
"You like him, don't you?" Kangin asks later, in the common room.
"No, I--" Eunhyuk begins, before Shindong interrupts from behind his textbook.
"Eunhyuk likes Donghae?" He asks with mock surprise. "Who knew?"
"That's not--" Eunhyuk tries to explain.
"What happened?" Hankyung appears in the stairwell, glancing around at the group.
"Eunhyuk is in love with Donghae," Kangin explains, moving his bag to make room for Hankyung on the sofa.
"Oh, everyone knows that," Hankyung declares, plopping down next to them. "Do you need me to distract Heechul so you two can sneak off?"
"Really, guys--" Eunhyuk starts, pointlessly.
"I can keep the other one occupied," Kangin suggests, of course with no ulterior motives whatsoever.
"I'll handle damage control, when the whole school finds out," Shindong assures Eunhyuk, patting him on the head. "You'll probably need a bodyguard, also."
"Can I spread the rumors?" Junsu pops up behind Eunhyuk, startling him. "I'll tell Taeyeon a beautiful tale, about the tragic love story between Gryffindor's biggest loser and the Slytherin Prince. She'll eat it up. Hyoyeon and Tiffany will have it spread around the school by noon tomorrow, I promise."
"Stop!" Eunhyuk stands up suddenly, looking exasperated. "I don't like boys!"
He then proceeds to stomp up the stairs petulantly while the remaining four continue to discuss the nature of his and Donghae's relationship.
Eunhyuk is sure Donghae doesn't have to put up with this, ever. He jumps onto his bed and casts a spell on Junsu's pillow, filling it with pudding, before closing the curtains around him.
~.~.~.~.~
"Red doesn't suit you, Hyukjae," Donghae states with a breathtaking smile, on a bitter winter day in their fourth year, and promptly changes Eunhyuk's scarf to a pattern of green and gold before walking off. Eunhyuk scowls after him, perhaps uselessly muttering something along the lines of "shut up" under his breath. He's jealous, really, that Donghae had paid more attention than him in class when they'd learned that. And why can't he take Donghae's breath away with a mere flash of his teeth? He rips the scarf off and shoves it into his bag, fuming. If his cheeks are pink, it's only from the frigid air as he rushes across the grounds and into the castle.
He stomps up the stairs, into the common room, and slams the bathroom door behind him. He practices his smile in the mirror, looking dejected when he comes out thirty-seven minutes later, after he discovers he just can't seem to get the same blend of confidence and innocence (and mystery and allure) in his smile that Donghae's has.
When he sees Donghae before class the next day, he pulls the scarf out and throws it at him. "I don't want your stupid Slytherin colors on my scarf," Eunhyuk exclaims as viciously as he can manage. Which is really not all that mean. "You can keep this."
Donghae frowns slightly. "What's the big deal? You could have just changed it back."
Eunhyuk flushes. "It's contaminated now."
"Contaminated? By a color?" Donghae raises one eyebrow skeptically, in a very Heechul-like fashion. This sets Eunhyuk off again.
"No, by you!" He cries out, angrily.
"What do you mean by that?" Donghae asks, eyes narrowing.
"You know what I mean." Eunhyuk meets his eyes, and his stomach flutters distractingly. Eunhyuk doesn't even know what he means, and he hopes Donghae doesn't catch on to that. Donghae steps closer.
"Because we're in different houses?" He asks, voice low. "Are you saying Slytherins are contaminated, Hyukjae?"
"N-no," Eunhyuk stutters, stepping back as Donghae takes another step forward.
"Then what do you mean?" Donghae doesn't even look angry. His face is etched with genuine confusion and hurt even as he backs Eunhyuk into the wall.
"I... I don't know," Eunhyuk admits, voice dropping to a whisper. "I didn't mean it."
"I told you we'd still be friends, didn't I?" Donghae tentatively places his hand on Eunhyuk's arm. "In second year, I promised, didn't I?"
"Yes, but--" Eunhyuk somehow croaks around the lump forming in his throat. His arm burns where Donghae's hand is, and he knows that isn't a good sign. Because he doesn't like boys.
"But nothing," Donghae pulls away. "Even if we have to meet in secret, or pass notes, or sneak around after curfew, I'm going to keep my promise. Okay?"
Eunhyuk nods, not quite trusting himself to speak. Donghae smiles at him, dazzlingly, and wraps the scarf around Eunhyuk's neck. He slips into the classroom without another word, leaving Eunhyuk slumped against the wall, still breathing hard.
But Eunhyuk is probably just beginning to catch a cold, he thinks, fingering the scarf. Because he really, honestly, definitely does not like boys.
~.~.~.~.~
By the time Eunhyuk enters his fifth year, he's pretty much accepted that he definitely does like boys. Well, just one boy, really. But the point is, he's discovered that he's completely enamored, and has absolutely no idea what to do with this new information.
Donghae keeps his promise, surprisingly, and it has involved one too many close calls with newly-appointed-Prefect Siwon, who takes his job more seriously than necessary, in Eunhyuk's opinion. While sneaking around behind the backs of the other two-thirds of Donghae's famous trio, the rush of adrenaline the two get reminds them of their days as mischevious first years. This nostalgia makes things slightly less uncomfortable when they find themselves packed into a small broom closet, breath mingling, trying not to laugh at Siwon's earnest attempts to figure out where those dungbombs came from.
Only slightly, however, because how can Eunhyuk not feel uncomfortable when it would be so easy to just lean in the few centimeters between them and relieve the itch he has been fighting for months?
As if hearing his thoughts, Donghae's eyes flicker from the door to lock with Eunhyuk's. The closet is dark, save for the lit end of Eunhyuk's wand, dangling loosely from his hand, but he can still make out the Slytherin's eyes drifting downwards to rest their gaze on Eunhyuk's mouth. They both swallow thickly, at the same time, and Eunhyuk closes the distance before he even realizes that Donghae had already moved to do the same.
The kiss is awkward, and Eunhyuk feels a little like that's his fault. He thinks maybe he shouldn't have rejected Seohyun so quickly in fourth year, then he wouldn't have to worry about feeling so inexperienced. Donghae only smiles slightly when he pulls back, though, and places his ear against the door, gesturing that the coast is clear after a moment.
They slip out of the broom closet and skulk back to their respective common rooms with no more than a small wave.
Eunhyuk hasn't been this stressed since he woke up in third year to find himself tied naked to Kangin's bedpost, with frosting in his hair, a pounding headache, and no memory of how he'd gotten there after Shindong's surprise birthday party. He's not sure how he should act, or if he should maybe bring it up and figure out what the hell is going on with them. What if Donghae is just teasing him? Does Donghae actually like him? Will he act like nothing happened? What if Heechul and Eeteuk find out? What if Donghae never wants to talk to him again? The questions swirl around in his head, and drive him to sit in the seat furthest from the Slytherin side in Defense Against the Dark Arts, the next class they have together.
He stiffens when he hears Donghae's laughter echoing down the corridor. He tries not to listen as the footsteps come into the room, and then pause. Donghae emits a soft "hm," and then retreats to the other side of the classroom. Eunhyuk doesn't turn around, and instead buries his face in the open textbook on his desk. Junsu eyes him curiously, and his expression assures Eunhyuk that there will be explaining to do later. When class ends, he rushes out of the classroom so fast that he leaves his bag next to his chair. Junsu shoots a questioning look at Donghae before grabbing the abandoned bag and hurrying after Eunhyuk.
---
Eunhyuk isn't sure how long he's been up in the Astronomy Tower, but it's gotten dark and he's surely missed several meals and a few classes. He really hadn't been expecting the jolt of something that accompanied Donghae's entrance, his insides lurching uncomfortably. If the professor had even spoken once during the lecture, Eunhyuk didn't notice. All he could think about was the quickest route out of the classroom the second they were dismissed.
It doesn't help ease his mind, sitting alone on top of the school where there's nothing to do but think, but at least he won't have to suffer through Junsu's interrogation, or dinner in the same room as Donghae. He's being immature, and he knows it. But what can he do, if the minute he so much as senses Donghae's presence, his heart rate picks up to an alarming speed and a cold numbness takes over his limbs?
He hears footsteps behind him, and sighs dramatically. "I already told you I didn't want to talk about it, go back to the dorm before Siwon catches you out of bed. He's already caught Sungmin twice this week."
"He hasn't caught us yet," a confident voice informs him, sending chills down Eunhyuk's spine. Ah, there it is, the weak feeling again. "And I imagine Sungmin isn't trying all that hard to be stealthy."
"Sorry, I thought you were Junsu," Eunhyuk keeps his eyes trained on his trembling hands. "How did you--?"
"He told me you were here," Donghae comes to stand beside Eunhyuk, dropping a bag into his lap. "You missed lunch and dinner. Shindong snagged this for you from the kitchens."
"Thanks." There are a few beats of awkward silence, before Donghae seats himself next to Eunhyuk, who has made no move to open the bag.
"Well, if you're not going to eat it..." Donghae reaches for the bag, but Eunhyuk covers it possessively, scowling.
"I'm going to!" Eunhyuk assures him. "Just... what did you come up here for?"
Donghae shrugs, and smiles at Eunhyuk. "I guess I love you."
He suddenly leans over to capture Eunhyuk's lips with his own. After a moment of shock, Eunhyuk responds to the kiss, his arms flailing around a bit before coming to rest on Donghae's shoulders. Donghae is clearly more experienced than Eunhyuk, but when Donghae's tongue flicks teasingly along Eunhyuk's bottom lip, the Gryffindor immediately forgets to be insecure. He forgets everything, really, but the sound of Donghae's soft sighing and the feeling of being completely, unbelievably happy.
~.~.~.~.~
"Eeteuk's been seeing Kangin behind mine and Heechul's backs," Donghae informs Eunhyuk matter-of-factly, a few months into their sixth year. Eunhyuk is stretched out in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, head in Donghae's lap, while Donghae absentmindedly runs his fingers through Eunhyuk's hair.
"I know," Eunhyuk says quietly, cracking open an eye to see if Donghae is mad. "Kangin can't keep a secret, even to save his own life. I think it started fifth year. On Kangin's end, anyway."
Donghae just smiles. "I'm surprised I didn't even notice. You'd think I'd be able to recognize when my friends go sneaking around with completely uncool Gryffindors. From experience, you know?"
Eunhyuk pinches Donghae's hip, satisfied with Donghae's pained yelp. But his face suddenly becomes serious, and he looks up at Donghae. "How... how did Heechul react?"
Donghae smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "He was pissed. I've never seen him like that before. I was afraid to even let them know I was there."
"Do you think he suspects..." Eunhyuk trails off worriedly.
"I don't think so, but hopefully the incident with Eeteuk doesn't make him more suspicious," Donghae chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. "We'll just have to be more careful, that's all."
"Doesn't it stress you out?" Eunhyuk asks. "Having to sneak around all the time?"
"Of course it does," Donghae laughs. "But what can we do, really? I'm not willing to sacrifice my friendship with Heechul or my relationship with you."
"What if you had to choose?" Eunhyuk presses. Donghae stops smiling and looks down at him. "What if we can't keep this up? Who would you go with?"
"Heechul," Donghae says, no hesitation. Eunhyuk's heart sinks. "He doesn't slobber all over whoever he's kissing. And you have this weird fixation with my adam's apple, it's a little creepy..."
Eunhyuk sputters indignantly, sitting up quickly. "I do not slobber!"
Donghae smirks. "But you can't deny the adam's apple thing, can you?"
"That was only one--" Eunhyuk suddenly notices Donghae shaking with repressed laughter. He smacks his arm, hard. "That's not funny at all! I thought you were serious!"
"Oh, I'm very serious," Donghae assures him, grinning. "You have a major saliva problem. Maybe we can brew up a potion for that..."
Eunhyuk tackles him to the grass, and proceeds to prove that he most certainly does not have a saliva problem.
---
"--doing up here?" Eunhyuk hears a cold voice and pauses in the stairwell, just behind the door leading to the Astronomy Tower. That doesn't sound like Donghae.
"Stargazing," he hears Donghae reply smoothly. The other voice scoffs.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Heechul, Eunhyuk realizes.
"If you already know, then why did you ask?" Donghae returns amiably. "I know you well enough, Heechul. You followed me up here because you have something to say. Please, continue."
"You're seeing that Gryffindor, aren't you?" Heechul accuses him. "The mudblood. Eunhyuk."
"Yes," comes the honest answer, without hesitation. "And he's a half-blood, if that makes any difference to you."
"How long?"
"Years." There is a sharp intake of breath.
"You've been lying to me all this time?" Heechul asks in a shaky voice, one Eunhyuk has never heard from the confident Slytherin. "Both you and Jungsu..."
"I haven't lied to you once, Heechul," Donghae assures the older boy. "You never asked, and I don't think I'm required to report to you about my personal life."
Eunhyuk jumps when he hears a hand hit the wooden door, and nearly falls down the stairs. "I am part of your personal life, Donghae! I took you in when you were a first year, or don't you remember that?"
"Took me in?" Donghae asks, sounding amused. "Am I a puppy?"
"This isn't a joke," Heechul's voice hardens. "You and Eeteuk, fucking around with mudbloods behind my back. It's betrayal, Donghae."
"We haven't betrayed you, Heechul." Donghae's tone drops, low and threatening. "And stop calling him that."
"You'd really choose your mudblood boyfriend over me?" Heechul hisses, every word laced with venom.
Eunhyuk really does tumble down the stairs when something slams against the door again, the sound echoing down the corridor. He rubs his arm gingerly, tears springing to his eyes, but pauses when Donghae speaks again. He doesn't raise his voice, but the quiet fury in his tone is so thick Eunhyuk swears he can feel it radiate through the door.
"I said, stop calling him that," Donghae repeats. Eunhyuk shudders, glad he isn't on the receiving end of his words. "I'm not making a choice, I shouldn't have to. Neither should Jungsu. If you were my best friend, our best friend... you would understand that."
Tense silence reigns for the longest ten seconds of Eunhyuk's life. Then suddenly, the door is thrown open and Heechul glides down the stairs, face stoic. Eunhyuk barely has time to clamber into the shadows as he strides past, his aura so dark and powerful that Eunhyuk forgets to breathe for a moment. Once Heechul's footsteps disappear down the hall, Eunhyuk stumbles back up the steps to find Donghae leaning over the ledge, looking out over the grounds. His heart suddenly swells at the sight of the Slytherin looking so forlorn, and before Eunhyuk can stop himself he has his arms wrapped around Donghae from behind, and his face pressed into his neck.
"I'm so sorry," Eunhyuk murmurs into his skin.
"You were there the whole time?" Donghae asks, sounding surprisingly carefree for someone who absolutely wasn't.
"Sorry," Eunhyuk repeats.
"Don't be sorry," Donghae brings his hands up to Eunhyuk's and leans back into the embrace. "It isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It's just... something Heechul has to work through on his own. He'll get it. He might not like it, but he'll get it."
"But, what if he turns your whole house against you? What if you lose all your friends and are alienated and--" Eunhyuk babbles. Donghae turns around and cuts him off, placing his hands gently on Eunhyuk's shoulders.
"You and your 'what-ifs,'" Donghae offers him a shaky smile. "I'll be fine, trust me. Eeteuk will stand by me, if anything, and... Hyukjae, why are you crying?"
Eunhyuk doesn't really know why, to be honest. Probably a combination of admiration for Donghae's bravery, graditude for Donghae defending him against Heechul, and throbbing pain from when he fell down the steps. He responds by crying even harder. Donghae smiles softly and wipes away his tears.
"I'm the one who just slammed his best friend into a door, probably ruining our friendship forever, but you're the one blubbering," Donghae teases. "You're such a crybaby."
"Am not!" Eunhyuk sobs. His eyes widen, suddenly. "W-wait, that was Heechul's body?"
"No, that was only my hand, actually," Donghae smirks and leans his forehead against Eunhyuk's. "Don't worry, Hyukjae. I know Heechul, and I know he'll get over it. I'll talk to him again once he has time to cool down."
"When did you become so cool and mature?" Eunhyuks asks with a mocking pout. "And violent?"
"Probably around the same time you became such a girl," Donghae laughs, earning himself a punch in the arm. "You know, when everyone finds out about this--"
"--Kangin's never going to let me hear the end of it," Eunhyuk finishes with a resigned sigh. "And girls will be sending me howlers left and right, just you wait and see."
"At least you'll get some respect," Donghae assures him, placing his palms on the other's chest. "Not just anyone can get into the pants of Donghae Lee, one of the three hottest and most popular guys in the school."
Eunhyuk's face flushes bright red. "B-but I haven't gotten into... into your.. p-pants..." He stutters, suddenly all too aware of where exactly Donghae's hands are sliding toward. They pause on the waistband of Eunhyuk's pants, and Donghae smiles suggestively.
"We can fix that."
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I've been
Lucky to be coming home again
--Jason Mraz, "Lucky"
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae (Implied Heechul/Eeteuk/Donghae)
A/N: Written for fading_sun_sock with massive amounts of help from phasera. Forgive me.
Hyukjae first runs into Donghae at Platform 9 and 3/4, literally, just before the start of their first year. Before he is Eunhyuk, before Donghae refuses to refer to him by that name. Before Heechul and Eeteuk, before sortings and houses. Before there are boundaries, before there are rivalries, before there are friends and foes and giant squids and crystal balls.
"Sorry," Hyukjae mumbles, flushing with embarrassment.
"Okay," Donghae chirps, as if Hyukjae hadn't just ran through a wall and directly into his own trolley, knocking his trunk onto the ground.
They sit in the same compartment, and Donghae tells Hyukjae everything there is to know about the Hogwarts; well, as much as his parents had told him. Hyukjae listens with wide eyes, trembling with excitement, because he was raised by a muggle mother, and has no idea about anything in this strange new world. Donghae seems to be a fountain of knowledge to Hyukjae, and as they inhale their cauldron cakes and share a flask of pumpkin juice, he listens as Donghae rambles on cheerfully about a sport where you fly around on broomsticks. Hyukjae feels a pang of jealousy as he listens, and wishes he had grown up in this world, too.
When two second years come into their compartment, Hyukjae clams up, but Donghae greets them gracefully, as if he is expecting them. He introduces himself, and then Hyukjae when he makes no sound, and the boy with the long black hair makes some disparaging comment about mutes and idiots. They stay for a bit longer, completely ignoring the silent Hyukjae, and seem very interested in Donghae. We're Slytherins, they tell him, and hopefully we'll see you in our house. They slip out just as suddenly as they had come in, leaving Hyukjae with even more questions than he'd had to begin with. Hyukjae isn't sure he wants to see those boys ever again, but he thinks it will be worth it as long as he gets to stay with Donghae.
Just in case, you know, he has any questions.
"SLYTHERIN!" is where the talking hat sends Donghae. And Donghae smiles at Hyukjae, gives him a thumbs up, and bounces over to the sea of green and silver to sit next to the boys from the train who are gesturing for him to join them. When "Lee, Hyukjae!" is called, he sits carefully upon the bench, and the hat is placed on his head. Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin, he thinks to himself repeatedly, before he is interrupted by the sorting hat.
Most definitely not Slytherin... it says thoughtfully. Hyukjae feels his stomach sink. No, you were absolutely meant for--
"GRYFFINDOR!"
He glances sadly over toward Donghae, who smiles back at him as if to reassure him that they can still be friends. Hyukjae wishes he could share the same confidence, as he catches Heechul's eye. Things don't look too promising.
~.~.~.~.~
By their second year, Hyukjae and Donghae are nearly inseparable.
They sit next to each other in the classes they share, and often get detention together as a result. They send paper planes flying at each other during meals, much to Heechul's dismay. If Eunhyuk's happen to hit the older Slytherin in the head, it's only because the wind blows them off course, surely. A few students shoot them curious glances, most cast venomous glares in their direction. But it doesn't matter, not yet, not while they're young and careless and so caught up with being friends that they don't notice no one else wants them to be.
They walk together down the halls, green and red, silver and gold, otherwise very much alike. Maybe Hyukjae's gums show a bit too much when he grins (as Junsu likes to tease). And maybe Donghae flits around with more energy than six first years combined (as Sungmin likes to whine). But they just don't care, because they're Hyukjae and Donghae, and nothing can pull them apart so easily.
"What if we grow apart?" Hyukjae asks one night after curfew, as they lounge atop the Astronomy Tower and take in lungfuls of moist air.
"We won't," Donghae sighs, closing his eyes and enjoying the smell of the coming rain.
"What if we end up in different classes, or get sick of each other, or get girlfriends and are too busy for each other?" Hyukjae bites his bottom lip, and glances over to Donghae. "What if Heechul and Eeteuk tell you you can't hang out with me, so we stop talking?" The Slytherin turns sideways and props himself up on his elbow.
"I said we won't," Donghae assures him earnestly. "I promise, no matter what happens, we'll still be friends. No one can tell us we can't. Okay?"
Hyukjae frowns uncertainly, but finally just lays back down as the first specks of rain fall around them. "As long as you promise."
"I do. And besides," Donghae smiles into the raindrops, "you couldn't get a girlfriend if you tried, so how could that ever come between us anyway?"
Hyukjae elbows Donghae in the side sharply, and their laughter is masked by a roll of thunder.
And Hyukjae holds on to that promise, even as second year progresses, and Donghae spends more and more time with his own friends, and Hyukjae spends more and more time with his. Hyukjae is nicknamed Eunhyuk by his dorm-mates, and Donghae melts into EeteukandHeechul, and if they do slowly drift apart, Hyukjae (Eunhyuk) pretends not to notice.
~.~.~.~.~
Eunhyuk may admire Donghae, but it's only because they're good friends, and in his third year he repeatedly assures himself of this. And he only gets that lightheaded feeling when Donghae's eyes meet his from across the Great Hall because he's envious. He only wishes his eyes would sparkle like that, too. And that the world would shudder to a stop when other people look at him. He just envies Donghae's natural charisma, and wishes he could be the one to break eye contact first, for once.
He shoves food into his mouth with renewed vigor, ignoring Kangin's raised eyebrow beside him, and thinks about anything (nothing) but those eyes.
"You like him, don't you?" Kangin asks later, in the common room.
"No, I--" Eunhyuk begins, before Shindong interrupts from behind his textbook.
"Eunhyuk likes Donghae?" He asks with mock surprise. "Who knew?"
"That's not--" Eunhyuk tries to explain.
"What happened?" Hankyung appears in the stairwell, glancing around at the group.
"Eunhyuk is in love with Donghae," Kangin explains, moving his bag to make room for Hankyung on the sofa.
"Oh, everyone knows that," Hankyung declares, plopping down next to them. "Do you need me to distract Heechul so you two can sneak off?"
"Really, guys--" Eunhyuk starts, pointlessly.
"I can keep the other one occupied," Kangin suggests, of course with no ulterior motives whatsoever.
"I'll handle damage control, when the whole school finds out," Shindong assures Eunhyuk, patting him on the head. "You'll probably need a bodyguard, also."
"Can I spread the rumors?" Junsu pops up behind Eunhyuk, startling him. "I'll tell Taeyeon a beautiful tale, about the tragic love story between Gryffindor's biggest loser and the Slytherin Prince. She'll eat it up. Hyoyeon and Tiffany will have it spread around the school by noon tomorrow, I promise."
"Stop!" Eunhyuk stands up suddenly, looking exasperated. "I don't like boys!"
He then proceeds to stomp up the stairs petulantly while the remaining four continue to discuss the nature of his and Donghae's relationship.
Eunhyuk is sure Donghae doesn't have to put up with this, ever. He jumps onto his bed and casts a spell on Junsu's pillow, filling it with pudding, before closing the curtains around him.
~.~.~.~.~
"Red doesn't suit you, Hyukjae," Donghae states with a breathtaking smile, on a bitter winter day in their fourth year, and promptly changes Eunhyuk's scarf to a pattern of green and gold before walking off. Eunhyuk scowls after him, perhaps uselessly muttering something along the lines of "shut up" under his breath. He's jealous, really, that Donghae had paid more attention than him in class when they'd learned that. And why can't he take Donghae's breath away with a mere flash of his teeth? He rips the scarf off and shoves it into his bag, fuming. If his cheeks are pink, it's only from the frigid air as he rushes across the grounds and into the castle.
He stomps up the stairs, into the common room, and slams the bathroom door behind him. He practices his smile in the mirror, looking dejected when he comes out thirty-seven minutes later, after he discovers he just can't seem to get the same blend of confidence and innocence (and mystery and allure) in his smile that Donghae's has.
When he sees Donghae before class the next day, he pulls the scarf out and throws it at him. "I don't want your stupid Slytherin colors on my scarf," Eunhyuk exclaims as viciously as he can manage. Which is really not all that mean. "You can keep this."
Donghae frowns slightly. "What's the big deal? You could have just changed it back."
Eunhyuk flushes. "It's contaminated now."
"Contaminated? By a color?" Donghae raises one eyebrow skeptically, in a very Heechul-like fashion. This sets Eunhyuk off again.
"No, by you!" He cries out, angrily.
"What do you mean by that?" Donghae asks, eyes narrowing.
"You know what I mean." Eunhyuk meets his eyes, and his stomach flutters distractingly. Eunhyuk doesn't even know what he means, and he hopes Donghae doesn't catch on to that. Donghae steps closer.
"Because we're in different houses?" He asks, voice low. "Are you saying Slytherins are contaminated, Hyukjae?"
"N-no," Eunhyuk stutters, stepping back as Donghae takes another step forward.
"Then what do you mean?" Donghae doesn't even look angry. His face is etched with genuine confusion and hurt even as he backs Eunhyuk into the wall.
"I... I don't know," Eunhyuk admits, voice dropping to a whisper. "I didn't mean it."
"I told you we'd still be friends, didn't I?" Donghae tentatively places his hand on Eunhyuk's arm. "In second year, I promised, didn't I?"
"Yes, but--" Eunhyuk somehow croaks around the lump forming in his throat. His arm burns where Donghae's hand is, and he knows that isn't a good sign. Because he doesn't like boys.
"But nothing," Donghae pulls away. "Even if we have to meet in secret, or pass notes, or sneak around after curfew, I'm going to keep my promise. Okay?"
Eunhyuk nods, not quite trusting himself to speak. Donghae smiles at him, dazzlingly, and wraps the scarf around Eunhyuk's neck. He slips into the classroom without another word, leaving Eunhyuk slumped against the wall, still breathing hard.
But Eunhyuk is probably just beginning to catch a cold, he thinks, fingering the scarf. Because he really, honestly, definitely does not like boys.
~.~.~.~.~
By the time Eunhyuk enters his fifth year, he's pretty much accepted that he definitely does like boys. Well, just one boy, really. But the point is, he's discovered that he's completely enamored, and has absolutely no idea what to do with this new information.
Donghae keeps his promise, surprisingly, and it has involved one too many close calls with newly-appointed-Prefect Siwon, who takes his job more seriously than necessary, in Eunhyuk's opinion. While sneaking around behind the backs of the other two-thirds of Donghae's famous trio, the rush of adrenaline the two get reminds them of their days as mischevious first years. This nostalgia makes things slightly less uncomfortable when they find themselves packed into a small broom closet, breath mingling, trying not to laugh at Siwon's earnest attempts to figure out where those dungbombs came from.
Only slightly, however, because how can Eunhyuk not feel uncomfortable when it would be so easy to just lean in the few centimeters between them and relieve the itch he has been fighting for months?
As if hearing his thoughts, Donghae's eyes flicker from the door to lock with Eunhyuk's. The closet is dark, save for the lit end of Eunhyuk's wand, dangling loosely from his hand, but he can still make out the Slytherin's eyes drifting downwards to rest their gaze on Eunhyuk's mouth. They both swallow thickly, at the same time, and Eunhyuk closes the distance before he even realizes that Donghae had already moved to do the same.
The kiss is awkward, and Eunhyuk feels a little like that's his fault. He thinks maybe he shouldn't have rejected Seohyun so quickly in fourth year, then he wouldn't have to worry about feeling so inexperienced. Donghae only smiles slightly when he pulls back, though, and places his ear against the door, gesturing that the coast is clear after a moment.
They slip out of the broom closet and skulk back to their respective common rooms with no more than a small wave.
Eunhyuk hasn't been this stressed since he woke up in third year to find himself tied naked to Kangin's bedpost, with frosting in his hair, a pounding headache, and no memory of how he'd gotten there after Shindong's surprise birthday party. He's not sure how he should act, or if he should maybe bring it up and figure out what the hell is going on with them. What if Donghae is just teasing him? Does Donghae actually like him? Will he act like nothing happened? What if Heechul and Eeteuk find out? What if Donghae never wants to talk to him again? The questions swirl around in his head, and drive him to sit in the seat furthest from the Slytherin side in Defense Against the Dark Arts, the next class they have together.
He stiffens when he hears Donghae's laughter echoing down the corridor. He tries not to listen as the footsteps come into the room, and then pause. Donghae emits a soft "hm," and then retreats to the other side of the classroom. Eunhyuk doesn't turn around, and instead buries his face in the open textbook on his desk. Junsu eyes him curiously, and his expression assures Eunhyuk that there will be explaining to do later. When class ends, he rushes out of the classroom so fast that he leaves his bag next to his chair. Junsu shoots a questioning look at Donghae before grabbing the abandoned bag and hurrying after Eunhyuk.
---
Eunhyuk isn't sure how long he's been up in the Astronomy Tower, but it's gotten dark and he's surely missed several meals and a few classes. He really hadn't been expecting the jolt of something that accompanied Donghae's entrance, his insides lurching uncomfortably. If the professor had even spoken once during the lecture, Eunhyuk didn't notice. All he could think about was the quickest route out of the classroom the second they were dismissed.
It doesn't help ease his mind, sitting alone on top of the school where there's nothing to do but think, but at least he won't have to suffer through Junsu's interrogation, or dinner in the same room as Donghae. He's being immature, and he knows it. But what can he do, if the minute he so much as senses Donghae's presence, his heart rate picks up to an alarming speed and a cold numbness takes over his limbs?
He hears footsteps behind him, and sighs dramatically. "I already told you I didn't want to talk about it, go back to the dorm before Siwon catches you out of bed. He's already caught Sungmin twice this week."
"He hasn't caught us yet," a confident voice informs him, sending chills down Eunhyuk's spine. Ah, there it is, the weak feeling again. "And I imagine Sungmin isn't trying all that hard to be stealthy."
"Sorry, I thought you were Junsu," Eunhyuk keeps his eyes trained on his trembling hands. "How did you--?"
"He told me you were here," Donghae comes to stand beside Eunhyuk, dropping a bag into his lap. "You missed lunch and dinner. Shindong snagged this for you from the kitchens."
"Thanks." There are a few beats of awkward silence, before Donghae seats himself next to Eunhyuk, who has made no move to open the bag.
"Well, if you're not going to eat it..." Donghae reaches for the bag, but Eunhyuk covers it possessively, scowling.
"I'm going to!" Eunhyuk assures him. "Just... what did you come up here for?"
Donghae shrugs, and smiles at Eunhyuk. "I guess I love you."
He suddenly leans over to capture Eunhyuk's lips with his own. After a moment of shock, Eunhyuk responds to the kiss, his arms flailing around a bit before coming to rest on Donghae's shoulders. Donghae is clearly more experienced than Eunhyuk, but when Donghae's tongue flicks teasingly along Eunhyuk's bottom lip, the Gryffindor immediately forgets to be insecure. He forgets everything, really, but the sound of Donghae's soft sighing and the feeling of being completely, unbelievably happy.
~.~.~.~.~
"Eeteuk's been seeing Kangin behind mine and Heechul's backs," Donghae informs Eunhyuk matter-of-factly, a few months into their sixth year. Eunhyuk is stretched out in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, head in Donghae's lap, while Donghae absentmindedly runs his fingers through Eunhyuk's hair.
"I know," Eunhyuk says quietly, cracking open an eye to see if Donghae is mad. "Kangin can't keep a secret, even to save his own life. I think it started fifth year. On Kangin's end, anyway."
Donghae just smiles. "I'm surprised I didn't even notice. You'd think I'd be able to recognize when my friends go sneaking around with completely uncool Gryffindors. From experience, you know?"
Eunhyuk pinches Donghae's hip, satisfied with Donghae's pained yelp. But his face suddenly becomes serious, and he looks up at Donghae. "How... how did Heechul react?"
Donghae smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "He was pissed. I've never seen him like that before. I was afraid to even let them know I was there."
"Do you think he suspects..." Eunhyuk trails off worriedly.
"I don't think so, but hopefully the incident with Eeteuk doesn't make him more suspicious," Donghae chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. "We'll just have to be more careful, that's all."
"Doesn't it stress you out?" Eunhyuk asks. "Having to sneak around all the time?"
"Of course it does," Donghae laughs. "But what can we do, really? I'm not willing to sacrifice my friendship with Heechul or my relationship with you."
"What if you had to choose?" Eunhyuk presses. Donghae stops smiling and looks down at him. "What if we can't keep this up? Who would you go with?"
"Heechul," Donghae says, no hesitation. Eunhyuk's heart sinks. "He doesn't slobber all over whoever he's kissing. And you have this weird fixation with my adam's apple, it's a little creepy..."
Eunhyuk sputters indignantly, sitting up quickly. "I do not slobber!"
Donghae smirks. "But you can't deny the adam's apple thing, can you?"
"That was only one--" Eunhyuk suddenly notices Donghae shaking with repressed laughter. He smacks his arm, hard. "That's not funny at all! I thought you were serious!"
"Oh, I'm very serious," Donghae assures him, grinning. "You have a major saliva problem. Maybe we can brew up a potion for that..."
Eunhyuk tackles him to the grass, and proceeds to prove that he most certainly does not have a saliva problem.
---
"--doing up here?" Eunhyuk hears a cold voice and pauses in the stairwell, just behind the door leading to the Astronomy Tower. That doesn't sound like Donghae.
"Stargazing," he hears Donghae reply smoothly. The other voice scoffs.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Heechul, Eunhyuk realizes.
"If you already know, then why did you ask?" Donghae returns amiably. "I know you well enough, Heechul. You followed me up here because you have something to say. Please, continue."
"You're seeing that Gryffindor, aren't you?" Heechul accuses him. "The mudblood. Eunhyuk."
"Yes," comes the honest answer, without hesitation. "And he's a half-blood, if that makes any difference to you."
"How long?"
"Years." There is a sharp intake of breath.
"You've been lying to me all this time?" Heechul asks in a shaky voice, one Eunhyuk has never heard from the confident Slytherin. "Both you and Jungsu..."
"I haven't lied to you once, Heechul," Donghae assures the older boy. "You never asked, and I don't think I'm required to report to you about my personal life."
Eunhyuk jumps when he hears a hand hit the wooden door, and nearly falls down the stairs. "I am part of your personal life, Donghae! I took you in when you were a first year, or don't you remember that?"
"Took me in?" Donghae asks, sounding amused. "Am I a puppy?"
"This isn't a joke," Heechul's voice hardens. "You and Eeteuk, fucking around with mudbloods behind my back. It's betrayal, Donghae."
"We haven't betrayed you, Heechul." Donghae's tone drops, low and threatening. "And stop calling him that."
"You'd really choose your mudblood boyfriend over me?" Heechul hisses, every word laced with venom.
Eunhyuk really does tumble down the stairs when something slams against the door again, the sound echoing down the corridor. He rubs his arm gingerly, tears springing to his eyes, but pauses when Donghae speaks again. He doesn't raise his voice, but the quiet fury in his tone is so thick Eunhyuk swears he can feel it radiate through the door.
"I said, stop calling him that," Donghae repeats. Eunhyuk shudders, glad he isn't on the receiving end of his words. "I'm not making a choice, I shouldn't have to. Neither should Jungsu. If you were my best friend, our best friend... you would understand that."
Tense silence reigns for the longest ten seconds of Eunhyuk's life. Then suddenly, the door is thrown open and Heechul glides down the stairs, face stoic. Eunhyuk barely has time to clamber into the shadows as he strides past, his aura so dark and powerful that Eunhyuk forgets to breathe for a moment. Once Heechul's footsteps disappear down the hall, Eunhyuk stumbles back up the steps to find Donghae leaning over the ledge, looking out over the grounds. His heart suddenly swells at the sight of the Slytherin looking so forlorn, and before Eunhyuk can stop himself he has his arms wrapped around Donghae from behind, and his face pressed into his neck.
"I'm so sorry," Eunhyuk murmurs into his skin.
"You were there the whole time?" Donghae asks, sounding surprisingly carefree for someone who absolutely wasn't.
"Sorry," Eunhyuk repeats.
"Don't be sorry," Donghae brings his hands up to Eunhyuk's and leans back into the embrace. "It isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. It's just... something Heechul has to work through on his own. He'll get it. He might not like it, but he'll get it."
"But, what if he turns your whole house against you? What if you lose all your friends and are alienated and--" Eunhyuk babbles. Donghae turns around and cuts him off, placing his hands gently on Eunhyuk's shoulders.
"You and your 'what-ifs,'" Donghae offers him a shaky smile. "I'll be fine, trust me. Eeteuk will stand by me, if anything, and... Hyukjae, why are you crying?"
Eunhyuk doesn't really know why, to be honest. Probably a combination of admiration for Donghae's bravery, graditude for Donghae defending him against Heechul, and throbbing pain from when he fell down the steps. He responds by crying even harder. Donghae smiles softly and wipes away his tears.
"I'm the one who just slammed his best friend into a door, probably ruining our friendship forever, but you're the one blubbering," Donghae teases. "You're such a crybaby."
"Am not!" Eunhyuk sobs. His eyes widen, suddenly. "W-wait, that was Heechul's body?"
"No, that was only my hand, actually," Donghae smirks and leans his forehead against Eunhyuk's. "Don't worry, Hyukjae. I know Heechul, and I know he'll get over it. I'll talk to him again once he has time to cool down."
"When did you become so cool and mature?" Eunhyuks asks with a mocking pout. "And violent?"
"Probably around the same time you became such a girl," Donghae laughs, earning himself a punch in the arm. "You know, when everyone finds out about this--"
"--Kangin's never going to let me hear the end of it," Eunhyuk finishes with a resigned sigh. "And girls will be sending me howlers left and right, just you wait and see."
"At least you'll get some respect," Donghae assures him, placing his palms on the other's chest. "Not just anyone can get into the pants of Donghae Lee, one of the three hottest and most popular guys in the school."
Eunhyuk's face flushes bright red. "B-but I haven't gotten into... into your.. p-pants..." He stutters, suddenly all too aware of where exactly Donghae's hands are sliding toward. They pause on the waistband of Eunhyuk's pants, and Donghae smiles suggestively.
"We can fix that."
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I've been
Lucky to be coming home again
--Jason Mraz, "Lucky"