The Next Competitor - A Review
So earlier this week at ontd_skating there was a post alerting the comm to the existence of a novel that strangely enough had an unusual number of similarities to a certain figure skater's personal life and career. Intrigued, I bought the book, read it this weekend, and decided I would share my impressions. So without further ado, I present a rambling review bursting with SPOILERS (because you really can't talk about this book without them) of...
Meet Johnny Weir Alex Grady:
He's the three time US National Champion and a World bronze silver medalist. He began skating when he was twelve eight in pairs competition before switching to singles. As you can expect, people either love him or hate him. The US Figure Skating Federation leans towards the latter.
"I'm not very popular with the people in charge of the American Skating Federation. They think the sun shines out of Tanner Nielsen's perfectly shaped, muscular ass, and they aren't happy I won the title."
See the USFSA has two main issues with Alex. The first is that he's a bit of a diva and he says precisely what he thinks. His family raised him to be proud of who he is, so he isn't in the habit of self-censoring. This often leads to him getting into trouble during interviews because he'll say something outrageous and the media of course jumps on it.
The second thing that pisses off the Skating Federation about Alex is that he isn't the guy they want representing men's figure skating because they perceive his costumes as too flamboyant and feminine.
Just so we are all clear here...
Alex realizes that the Federation's problem with him has very little to do with his actual costumes and everything to do with the fact that people think he's *gasp* gay.
"My costumes aren't really any more sparkly than any of the other guys' and it's not like I'm flaming or anything, but there's something about the way I move on the ice that just screams GAY at the top of its lungs."
Yep, looks a little gay (and hot). Kind of reminds me of this, which is decidedly NOT gay (or hot), yo.
Now while Alex actually is gay and unashamed to be so, he hasn't felt the need to announce it to the world.
"It's not as if I go around with a rainbow flag pinned to my costume, but I think it's pretty obvious to everyone that I'm gay. I've never really hidden it."
That is probably a good thing because his attempts at coyness are about as subtle as being whacked over the head with a baseball bat.
Despite it being readily apparent to anyone with eyes that Alex is gay, the media still continues to hound him about it. Alex however is keeping that information sacred.
"I mean, I'm not openly gay - I've never actually confirmed or denied it in the press. If the question comes up, I simply say that I don't talk about my personal life."
But come on, does the boy really need to confirm it? I think not.
Besides, it makes much better financial sense if he doesn't announce it to the world. There are only so many endorsements and tours to be found in figure skating and you never know when homophobia will cost you a job.
Regardless of all the snubs Alex gets in his home country, he is a really big star abroad, especially in Japan and Korea. Why does this not surprise me...
"The girls in Asia love me because I'm the cover boy for Non-Threatening Male Monthly."
Too bad Alex isn't the cover boy for US men's figure skating though. That coveted position belongs to his arch rival Tanner Nielsen.
"Tanner is the poster boy for US figure skating, and advertisers love him. He's a tall, square-jawed jock with an ideal girlfriend who still reigns as 'America's Sweetheart' after winning gold at the last Olympics."
"He's the perfect all-American jock, and he wouldn't know artistry if it came up and bit him."
Alex is initially very preoccupied with his hatred of Tanner, but as it is the Olympic season, he tries to push that aside and focus like his super strict Russian coach Elena Cheremisinova (a.k.a. Mrs. C) insists he does while she stands at the boards in her customary mink.
"Okay, seriously, I think this woman might be in the Russian mob. She's five foot three and probably a hundred and twenty pounds, but she has this way of intimidating people to get her way. Eventually, everyone comes around to Mrs. C's way of thinking."
Mrs. C is Alex's new coach. He switched because he found he needed someone who would kick his ass and motivate him in a way that his old coach hadn't been able to do.
"I don't need my coach to be all warm and fuzzy; I need her to make me the best skater in the world. I need her to make me Olympic champion. My coach before Mrs. C, Sharon, used to give me huge hugs and kisses after my routines, and she used to give me them all the time in practice, too. Sharon was great, don't get me wrong. But I already have a mother, you know? I don't need another one."
*sniff* Sorry you guys. Thinking about Priscilla Sharon makes me sad. A moment of silence please for past coaches who believed you could be a champion and helped to make you one.
Anyway, Alex's switch in coaches is working well. He's more driven to succeed than he ever has been before, and is intent on landing his quad and winning Olympic gold. Everything seems to be heading that direction too, until Alex begins to notice the Canadian pairs team that trains at his rink, particularly the male half of the duo, Matt Savelli.
At first Alex doesn't like Matt at all, even though he is in total denial because he is always checking him out and they would have totally given in to the UST and gone at it like rabbits if people hadn't kept interrupting them before they could kiss. But then Matt accidentally drops his partner during a competition and Alex stays by his side at the hospital while they wait for the poor girl to get out of surgery. She ends up being okay, but won't be able to skate for the rest of the season. Matt feels guilty and decides he won't skate without her, but Alex convinces him he should compete in singles. Thus a friendship is born, and soon enough they are having sexcapades everywhere, which really surprised me as this is categorized as a young adult novel and there was quite a lot of 'and then Matt pulled down my pants and went on his knees and OH MY GOD' going on. Just saying.
And while all those orgasms are certainly making Alex feel good, they aren't helping him skate well. He keeps winning, of course, because holy shitballs he's amazing like that, but his coach knows he isn't giving it everything he has. He could be doing so much better. She tells him that if he wants to win Olympic gold, he needs to focus all his energy on improving his quad, not on maintaining his relationship. After Alex wins his second National Championship and a spot on the Olympic team, he takes her words to heart and starts to blow Matt off. Matt, who has also made the Olympic team for Canada, doesn't really understand why Alex has pulled a veritable 180 overnight and keeps trying to find out what the hell is wrong. Three days before the Olympics, the stress of competition and Matt's continued questions finally prove too much for Alex, who explodes like a diva bitch whore from hell and tells Matt, among other things, that he couldn't possibly land a quad because he's a pairs skater, that he has no chance of medaling unless half the men are assassinated, that nobody expects anything from him, that he is just the feel-good media story, and that the whole world pities him because he dropped his partner and she was seriously injured. Later Alex tries to apologize, but Matt is having none of it. Needless to say, the break up is messy and Alex is pissed.
He is also heartbroken, but he isn't about to let either of those things get in the way of his Olympic dream. He casts only a few yearning looks at Matt, who studiously ignores him, before locking his emotions away to concentrate on landing his quad. It pays off too because in the short program, Alex is on fire. Everything is going perfectly, and then near the end of his routine he catches an edge during his footwork section and falls down hard, thereby losing his shot at the gold because the other skaters have been flawless, including his rival Tanner.
Afterwards Alex is in utter shock and barely manages to make it back to his room in the Olympic Village before he has a total break down. While he is crying his eyes out, Matt shows up to see if he is okay and the two reconcile. Matt convinces him to try to have fun in the long program since his hopes of medaling are gone, and Alex agrees. The next day he goes out, decides not to bother with the damn quad, and skates like it is the last time he ever will ever set foot upon the ice.
There's a little more after this, but I don't want to give everything away, but I did want to point out that there appear to be a couple cameos in this book.
First off, we have Vladimir Sidorov, a Russian badass who does quads like they are nothing.
And second, we have an unnamed Swiss skater whom Alex accidentally clips during the six minute warmup at a competition. Alex helps him up and they smile at one another.
Lastly, Alex and Tanner share a bro moment that is beyond adorable.
"Hey, man. Great competition. It's going to be hardcore in Austria."
Tanner assesses me for a moment, like he's trying to figure out if I'm for real, or being a dickhead. I guess he decides I'm sincere, and he smiles back. "Yeah, it'll be off the hook." Then he laughs, and it sounds like a real laugh. "Do people still say that?"
I laugh, too. "I have no idea. But it is totally going to be off the hook. Yo."
And that is it folks! Tune in sometime in the future for my next foray into published figure skating fanfiction when I review what looks to be another lol-tastic book...
Meet Johnny Weir Alex Grady:
He's the three time US National Champion and a World bronze silver medalist. He began skating when he was twelve eight in pairs competition before switching to singles. As you can expect, people either love him or hate him. The US Figure Skating Federation leans towards the latter.
"I'm not very popular with the people in charge of the American Skating Federation. They think the sun shines out of Tanner Nielsen's perfectly shaped, muscular ass, and they aren't happy I won the title."
See the USFSA has two main issues with Alex. The first is that he's a bit of a diva and he says precisely what he thinks. His family raised him to be proud of who he is, so he isn't in the habit of self-censoring. This often leads to him getting into trouble during interviews because he'll say something outrageous and the media of course jumps on it.
Click to viewThe second thing that pisses off the Skating Federation about Alex is that he isn't the guy they want representing men's figure skating because they perceive his costumes as too flamboyant and feminine.
Just so we are all clear here...
Alex realizes that the Federation's problem with him has very little to do with his actual costumes and everything to do with the fact that people think he's *gasp* gay.
"My costumes aren't really any more sparkly than any of the other guys' and it's not like I'm flaming or anything, but there's something about the way I move on the ice that just screams GAY at the top of its lungs."
Yep, looks a little gay (and hot). Kind of reminds me of this, which is decidedly NOT gay (or hot), yo.
Now while Alex actually is gay and unashamed to be so, he hasn't felt the need to announce it to the world.
"It's not as if I go around with a rainbow flag pinned to my costume, but I think it's pretty obvious to everyone that I'm gay. I've never really hidden it."
That is probably a good thing because his attempts at coyness are about as subtle as being whacked over the head with a baseball bat.
Despite it being readily apparent to anyone with eyes that Alex is gay, the media still continues to hound him about it. Alex however is keeping that information sacred.
"I mean, I'm not openly gay - I've never actually confirmed or denied it in the press. If the question comes up, I simply say that I don't talk about my personal life."
But come on, does the boy really need to confirm it? I think not.
Besides, it makes much better financial sense if he doesn't announce it to the world. There are only so many endorsements and tours to be found in figure skating and you never know when homophobia will cost you a job.
Regardless of all the snubs Alex gets in his home country, he is a really big star abroad, especially in Japan and Korea. Why does this not surprise me...
"The girls in Asia love me because I'm the cover boy for Non-Threatening Male Monthly."
Too bad Alex isn't the cover boy for US men's figure skating though. That coveted position belongs to his arch rival Tanner Nielsen.
"Tanner is the poster boy for US figure skating, and advertisers love him. He's a tall, square-jawed jock with an ideal girlfriend who still reigns as 'America's Sweetheart' after winning gold at the last Olympics."
"He's the perfect all-American jock, and he wouldn't know artistry if it came up and bit him."
Alex is initially very preoccupied with his hatred of Tanner, but as it is the Olympic season, he tries to push that aside and focus like his super strict Russian coach Elena Cheremisinova (a.k.a. Mrs. C) insists he does while she stands at the boards in her customary mink.
"Okay, seriously, I think this woman might be in the Russian mob. She's five foot three and probably a hundred and twenty pounds, but she has this way of intimidating people to get her way. Eventually, everyone comes around to Mrs. C's way of thinking."
Mrs. C is Alex's new coach. He switched because he found he needed someone who would kick his ass and motivate him in a way that his old coach hadn't been able to do.
"I don't need my coach to be all warm and fuzzy; I need her to make me the best skater in the world. I need her to make me Olympic champion. My coach before Mrs. C, Sharon, used to give me huge hugs and kisses after my routines, and she used to give me them all the time in practice, too. Sharon was great, don't get me wrong. But I already have a mother, you know? I don't need another one."
*sniff* Sorry you guys. Thinking about Priscilla Sharon makes me sad. A moment of silence please for past coaches who believed you could be a champion and helped to make you one.
Anyway, Alex's switch in coaches is working well. He's more driven to succeed than he ever has been before, and is intent on landing his quad and winning Olympic gold. Everything seems to be heading that direction too, until Alex begins to notice the Canadian pairs team that trains at his rink, particularly the male half of the duo, Matt Savelli.
At first Alex doesn't like Matt at all, even though he is in total denial because he is always checking him out and they would have totally given in to the UST and gone at it like rabbits if people hadn't kept interrupting them before they could kiss. But then Matt accidentally drops his partner during a competition and Alex stays by his side at the hospital while they wait for the poor girl to get out of surgery. She ends up being okay, but won't be able to skate for the rest of the season. Matt feels guilty and decides he won't skate without her, but Alex convinces him he should compete in singles. Thus a friendship is born, and soon enough they are having sexcapades everywhere, which really surprised me as this is categorized as a young adult novel and there was quite a lot of 'and then Matt pulled down my pants and went on his knees and OH MY GOD' going on. Just saying.
And while all those orgasms are certainly making Alex feel good, they aren't helping him skate well. He keeps winning, of course, because holy shitballs he's amazing like that, but his coach knows he isn't giving it everything he has. He could be doing so much better. She tells him that if he wants to win Olympic gold, he needs to focus all his energy on improving his quad, not on maintaining his relationship. After Alex wins his second National Championship and a spot on the Olympic team, he takes her words to heart and starts to blow Matt off. Matt, who has also made the Olympic team for Canada, doesn't really understand why Alex has pulled a veritable 180 overnight and keeps trying to find out what the hell is wrong. Three days before the Olympics, the stress of competition and Matt's continued questions finally prove too much for Alex, who explodes like a diva bitch whore from hell and tells Matt, among other things, that he couldn't possibly land a quad because he's a pairs skater, that he has no chance of medaling unless half the men are assassinated, that nobody expects anything from him, that he is just the feel-good media story, and that the whole world pities him because he dropped his partner and she was seriously injured. Later Alex tries to apologize, but Matt is having none of it. Needless to say, the break up is messy and Alex is pissed.
He is also heartbroken, but he isn't about to let either of those things get in the way of his Olympic dream. He casts only a few yearning looks at Matt, who studiously ignores him, before locking his emotions away to concentrate on landing his quad. It pays off too because in the short program, Alex is on fire. Everything is going perfectly, and then near the end of his routine he catches an edge during his footwork section and falls down hard, thereby losing his shot at the gold because the other skaters have been flawless, including his rival Tanner.
Afterwards Alex is in utter shock and barely manages to make it back to his room in the Olympic Village before he has a total break down. While he is crying his eyes out, Matt shows up to see if he is okay and the two reconcile. Matt convinces him to try to have fun in the long program since his hopes of medaling are gone, and Alex agrees. The next day he goes out, decides not to bother with the damn quad, and skates like it is the last time he ever will ever set foot upon the ice.
There's a little more after this, but I don't want to give everything away, but I did want to point out that there appear to be a couple cameos in this book.
First off, we have Vladimir Sidorov, a Russian badass who does quads like they are nothing.
And second, we have an unnamed Swiss skater whom Alex accidentally clips during the six minute warmup at a competition. Alex helps him up and they smile at one another.
Lastly, Alex and Tanner share a bro moment that is beyond adorable.
"Hey, man. Great competition. It's going to be hardcore in Austria."
Tanner assesses me for a moment, like he's trying to figure out if I'm for real, or being a dickhead. I guess he decides I'm sincere, and he smiles back. "Yeah, it'll be off the hook." Then he laughs, and it sounds like a real laugh. "Do people still say that?"
I laugh, too. "I have no idea. But it is totally going to be off the hook. Yo."
And that is it folks! Tune in sometime in the future for my next foray into published figure skating fanfiction when I review what looks to be another lol-tastic book...
