What Makes Me a Shipper
Whenever I fill out a friending meme, or an introduce yourself to community X or forum Y post, amongst all the other getting to know you information , there is always a question asking me to list my ships. I have difficulty with this question because I like a lot of couples. Name a show I watch, and I probably have at least one couple on it that I enjoy and root for. But for me, wanting a couple to be together is not necessarily the same as shipping them. The list of couples I like is extensive while the list of couples I ship is very small.
The problem is further complicated since I often use the word “ship” to refer to couples I like because within fandom, there really isn’t a word that differentiates between “liking” and “shipping” besides the rather vague distinction “main ships” and there really should be. Within fandom at large, it seems to be assumed that if you like a couple, you ship them, and for me at least, that isn’t the case. If I ship a couple, my engagement is active. If I like a couple, my engagement is passive. For my ships, I will devote time and energy looking for icons, fanfic, meta, picspams, etc… and I’ll probably end up contributing something of my own creation to the fandom. For couples I like, I might read some fics or the occasional piece of meta if the premise is interesting, and I may have an icon or two, but I am not seeking any of these out beyond joining whatever community pops up first in an LJ search. If I come across something that strikes my fancy, kudos. If not, no biggie. I’m not going to be scouring the vastness of the internet for stuff related to a couple that I like in the same way that I will for my ships.
But what is it about a couple that makes me ship them as opposed to liking them? On this rather dreary day, I decided to examine my three ships to see if there were any common denominators, and unsurprisingly, there are. Couples I like share many of these traits, but my ships have them all. So without further ado…
What Makes Me a Shipper:
Or how Spike/Buffy, Chuck/Blair, and Kara/Lee stole my heart
1. Opposites Attract
I know your type, your type
You're Daddy's little girl
Just take a bite, one bite
Let me shake up your world
-Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester-
It is pretty safe to say that I go for relationships that are doomed from the start. The couples I ship are inherently wrong for each other, and they usually take ‘poorly suited’ to entirely new levels of disastrous. I mean seriously, take a look at the list. The compatibility issues these couples have are pretty self-explanatory.
Spike & Buffy - the soulless!vampire and the vampire slayer
Chuck & Blair - the playboy manwhoring bastard and the virginal ice queen
Kara & Lee - the hotshot who bucks authority and the golden boy who follows the rules
2. Forbidden Fruit
The maddest kind of love
Is a love you know is wrong
It burns a hole right through your soul
And cuts you like a knife
-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-
As if being polar opposites wasn't enough of a deterrent to a relationship, my favorite couples always have extra baggage that immediately makes the prospect of any romantic liaison between them more complicated and usually guilt inducing. Cases in point?
She's his sire's beloved.
She's his best friend's girlfriend.
She's his dead brother's fiancée.
3. Stronger Together
We're damaged people
Drawn together by subtleties that we are not aware of
Disturbed souls playing out forever
These games that we once thought we would be scared of
-Depeche Mode-
Even before my ships became officially romantic, they were always important figures in each other's lives. A huge factor in this is that without even trying to, they reinforce those areas in which the other person is weak while at the same time challenging one another to be better, to go farther, to excel when nobody else believes they can. They understand one another at an instinctive level and are able to offer the support and encouragement the other needs without having to be told. Essentially, they are each other's biggest cheerleader (and oftentimes ass kicker).
"You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man... And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike."
"But I am me, and you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done. The darkest thought you've ever had. I will stand by you through anything."
"I believe you."
4. The Moment of Recognition
I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
You were amazing
-Chris De Burgh-
With my ships, there is always a moment where one of them realizes that they have feelings for the other. This moment is always exceedingly hysterical because it hits the person seemingly out of nowhere because they have been living in utter denial. The resulting epiphany leaves them dumbstruck and looking like they're about to be hit by a freight train.
"Oh God, no! Please no!"
"Who's that girl?"
"I have no idea."
"So...um... that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good. And the other one's not too bad either."
5. I Don't Want to be in Love
It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault
-Imogen Heap-
Once the discovery about those pesky feelings towards one another has been made on either side, there is still a major problem. One of them is not too keen on the whole relationship thing. Like avidly against the idea (because they are still in denial). This leads to an amusing cycle of 'I don't like you, but now I'm going to kiss you.'
"He's everything I hate. He's everything that... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time I feel anything is when... Don't tell anyone, please."
"Chuck you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered."
"There is no us, alright? I just wanted a good lay. There is nothing here. Do you get that? Nothing."
6. Major UST (especially after the deed is done)
What would happen if we kissed?
If your tongue slipped past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you?
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
What would happen if we kissed?
-Meredith Brooks-
Want a couple that is going to shack up soon and often? Look elsewhere. My favorite pairings prefer to deny their obvious chemistry and instead engage in significant glances with each other that can only be interpreted as eye frakking. And even when they finally do give into their desires and get it on, things don't stay rosy for long. They actually end up in even deeper denial of their attraction, resulting in buckets of angst and some uber eye frakking that is damn near pornographic.
Can we say sexual tension?
Seriously, can we?
Oh good God, get a room already!
7. You Always Hurt the One You Love
I wanna break you down so badly
While I trip over every thing you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way, worst way
-Taking Back Sunday-
Perhaps because these couples spend their time eye frakking and being all angsty and emo instead of actually sleeping together, they get really sexually frustrated. And what better way to relieve that tension than by punishing the object of their affections? Some do it with words, some with actions, some with both, but it creates a riveting angst fueled ride that leaves me on the edge of my seat time and time again.
"I am not your girl. You don't have a soul. There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside. You can't feel anything real. I could never be your girl!
"You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. But now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would."
"The Old Man's got chops. Knows when to make his move, when to hold back. I wish I could say the same for his son."
"Why are you two even fighting? Why not just get a room?"
"Been there, done that. Guess it just rubbed us both the wrong way."
8. Happily Ever Afters Are Overrated
And I, I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
-Garth Brooks-
This isn't exactly a trait that I can spot in advance, but for some reason my ships also have a tendency not to be endgame couples no matter how much I want them to be. But you know what? I don't care. I loved them before they began, I loved them while they lasted, and I love them even more once they're finished because it wasn't the prospect of white picket fences and weddings that hooked me on these couples in the first place. It was the journey they took, they way they fought like hell to deny their feelings, and then fought like hell to be together. It was the angst and the UST and the overwhelming passion that made me love them, and lacking a fairytale ending can't diminish that. If anything, it only makes them more epic. Think about it. The greatest love stories ever told are not about the couples that make it. They are about the ones that don't.
"I love you."
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it."
"The reason we can't say those three words to each other isn't because they aren't true."
"Then why?"
"I think we both know that the moment we do, it won't be the start of something. It will be the end."
(Yeah, yeah, they haven't ended yet, but still...)
"Goodbye Kara. You won't be forgotten."
The problem is further complicated since I often use the word “ship” to refer to couples I like because within fandom, there really isn’t a word that differentiates between “liking” and “shipping” besides the rather vague distinction “main ships” and there really should be. Within fandom at large, it seems to be assumed that if you like a couple, you ship them, and for me at least, that isn’t the case. If I ship a couple, my engagement is active. If I like a couple, my engagement is passive. For my ships, I will devote time and energy looking for icons, fanfic, meta, picspams, etc… and I’ll probably end up contributing something of my own creation to the fandom. For couples I like, I might read some fics or the occasional piece of meta if the premise is interesting, and I may have an icon or two, but I am not seeking any of these out beyond joining whatever community pops up first in an LJ search. If I come across something that strikes my fancy, kudos. If not, no biggie. I’m not going to be scouring the vastness of the internet for stuff related to a couple that I like in the same way that I will for my ships.
But what is it about a couple that makes me ship them as opposed to liking them? On this rather dreary day, I decided to examine my three ships to see if there were any common denominators, and unsurprisingly, there are. Couples I like share many of these traits, but my ships have them all. So without further ado…
What Makes Me a Shipper:
Or how Spike/Buffy, Chuck/Blair, and Kara/Lee stole my heart
1. Opposites Attract
I know your type, your type
You're Daddy's little girl
Just take a bite, one bite
Let me shake up your world
-Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester-
It is pretty safe to say that I go for relationships that are doomed from the start. The couples I ship are inherently wrong for each other, and they usually take ‘poorly suited’ to entirely new levels of disastrous. I mean seriously, take a look at the list. The compatibility issues these couples have are pretty self-explanatory.
Spike & Buffy - the soulless!vampire and the vampire slayer
Chuck & Blair - the playboy manwhoring bastard and the virginal ice queen
Kara & Lee - the hotshot who bucks authority and the golden boy who follows the rules
2. Forbidden Fruit
The maddest kind of love
Is a love you know is wrong
It burns a hole right through your soul
And cuts you like a knife
-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-
As if being polar opposites wasn't enough of a deterrent to a relationship, my favorite couples always have extra baggage that immediately makes the prospect of any romantic liaison between them more complicated and usually guilt inducing. Cases in point?
She's his sire's beloved.
She's his best friend's girlfriend.
She's his dead brother's fiancée.
3. Stronger Together
We're damaged people
Drawn together by subtleties that we are not aware of
Disturbed souls playing out forever
These games that we once thought we would be scared of
-Depeche Mode-
Even before my ships became officially romantic, they were always important figures in each other's lives. A huge factor in this is that without even trying to, they reinforce those areas in which the other person is weak while at the same time challenging one another to be better, to go farther, to excel when nobody else believes they can. They understand one another at an instinctive level and are able to offer the support and encouragement the other needs without having to be told. Essentially, they are each other's biggest cheerleader (and oftentimes ass kicker).
"You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man... And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike."
"But I am me, and you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done. The darkest thought you've ever had. I will stand by you through anything."
"I believe you."
4. The Moment of Recognition
I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
You were amazing
-Chris De Burgh-
With my ships, there is always a moment where one of them realizes that they have feelings for the other. This moment is always exceedingly hysterical because it hits the person seemingly out of nowhere because they have been living in utter denial. The resulting epiphany leaves them dumbstruck and looking like they're about to be hit by a freight train.
"Oh God, no! Please no!"
"Who's that girl?"
"I have no idea."
"So...um... that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good. And the other one's not too bad either."
5. I Don't Want to be in Love
It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault
-Imogen Heap-
Once the discovery about those pesky feelings towards one another has been made on either side, there is still a major problem. One of them is not too keen on the whole relationship thing. Like avidly against the idea (because they are still in denial). This leads to an amusing cycle of 'I don't like you, but now I'm going to kiss you.'
"He's everything I hate. He's everything that... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time I feel anything is when... Don't tell anyone, please."
"Chuck you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered."
"There is no us, alright? I just wanted a good lay. There is nothing here. Do you get that? Nothing."
6. Major UST (especially after the deed is done)
What would happen if we kissed?
If your tongue slipped past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you?
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
What would happen if we kissed?
-Meredith Brooks-
Want a couple that is going to shack up soon and often? Look elsewhere. My favorite pairings prefer to deny their obvious chemistry and instead engage in significant glances with each other that can only be interpreted as eye frakking. And even when they finally do give into their desires and get it on, things don't stay rosy for long. They actually end up in even deeper denial of their attraction, resulting in buckets of angst and some uber eye frakking that is damn near pornographic.
Can we say sexual tension?
Seriously, can we?
Oh good God, get a room already!
7. You Always Hurt the One You Love
I wanna break you down so badly
While I trip over every thing you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way, worst way
-Taking Back Sunday-
Perhaps because these couples spend their time eye frakking and being all angsty and emo instead of actually sleeping together, they get really sexually frustrated. And what better way to relieve that tension than by punishing the object of their affections? Some do it with words, some with actions, some with both, but it creates a riveting angst fueled ride that leaves me on the edge of my seat time and time again.
"I am not your girl. You don't have a soul. There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside. You can't feel anything real. I could never be your girl!
"You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. But now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would."
"The Old Man's got chops. Knows when to make his move, when to hold back. I wish I could say the same for his son."
"Why are you two even fighting? Why not just get a room?"
"Been there, done that. Guess it just rubbed us both the wrong way."
8. Happily Ever Afters Are Overrated
And I, I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance
-Garth Brooks-
This isn't exactly a trait that I can spot in advance, but for some reason my ships also have a tendency not to be endgame couples no matter how much I want them to be. But you know what? I don't care. I loved them before they began, I loved them while they lasted, and I love them even more once they're finished because it wasn't the prospect of white picket fences and weddings that hooked me on these couples in the first place. It was the journey they took, they way they fought like hell to deny their feelings, and then fought like hell to be together. It was the angst and the UST and the overwhelming passion that made me love them, and lacking a fairytale ending can't diminish that. If anything, it only makes them more epic. Think about it. The greatest love stories ever told are not about the couples that make it. They are about the ones that don't.
"I love you."
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it."
"The reason we can't say those three words to each other isn't because they aren't true."
"Then why?"
"I think we both know that the moment we do, it won't be the start of something. It will be the end."
(Yeah, yeah, they haven't ended yet, but still...)
"Goodbye Kara. You won't be forgotten."