This guy wasn't the one for you. Why? Because he made fun of you, even when it should have been clear to him you didn't appreciate it. A guy who appreciates you won't belittle you. Yes it hurts, and sucks because of the old wounds, but this guy really was an asshole.
*hugs* Thank you. Part of me thinks that if I had talked to him sooner (I had made plans that day to "make it all better" through talks, making him dinner, whatever.... I had the whole day planned out u.u), then everything would have worked out better.
I think we never connected as a couple because it was so rushed and assumed that we would be good for each other because we had similar interests. I am coming to the realization that I never knew him and he never knew me. We just lived off the belief that "we must got something if we have so many similar interests."
I think we would make great friends, just... not now, especially not so soon after him pulling the rug out from under me.
This is one of your problems Michelle. You try too hard. You tried too hard with D to be the perfect, doting girlfriend. You wanted him to see that you took care of him, cooked, cleaned, sexed, etc. Just quit it. You shouldn't have to try so hard to be in a relationship and have a guy like you. I realize you enjoy doing these things, but step back and admit that you really push to show just how awesome you are.
You are awesome, period. You don't need to work so hard to let the world know that. Quit stressing over this shit and maybe you'll find your happiness again.
Oh man, I laughed at this comment because you are right. I did try too hard. Too damn hard. And it just made me so unhappy. I am sure the reason I try so hard and think that any bobble is a damnable sin is because I never felt good enough for my grandmother (and having no other adult mentor as a child, that was my only source of affirmation).
You are saying things that I have been trying to see. I've been unhappy for a long time, and I've always thought "why why why? What is different now than it was before?"
I remember a time I tried just hard enough to be myself and happy with it. I was the awesome, eccentric girl that had people come up to me at All Region choir rehearsals to tell me that they were in love with Meshell (it was a fan of Meshell). And the only difference? I didn't give a fuck. I really did not give a fuck.
It's time for that to come back. Don't make me to pull out my tube socks and Sauconies to prove just how against the grain I will go to be happy.
It should be noted that when I did try the weirdo
( ... )
To this day I cannot see Sauconies without thinking of you.
And fuck D is he can't accept you, weird eccentricities and all. Would he be more satisfied if you were one of the clone GF/fiance/wife girls that show up at events and stand back quietly? I'm sure they look nice in the family picture but they add nothing to life.
I really miss the fun-loving, creative, and happy Michelle from high school.
Your sitch reminds me of another girl on my FL. It just occurred to her that she hasn't been the real her for years because of her husband. She's getting a divorce and reverting to her old ways, and she's insanely happy because of it.
Heheh, I should search out a nice pair of bright, grass green sauconies to show people just how little I give a fuck.
Seriously, D is a fucking tard if he thinks I am going to change myself, fit into a mold, and stfu while looking pretty. Sorry, I am loud-mouthed, excitable, silly, erratic, and all sorts of other adjectives that don't fit into the "dull" category. I expressed to D that the Meshell right now is not the same as the Meshell from the past.
Dude, I miss drawing and being proud of it. I miss wearing all my crazy shit and not caring. I also miss being the person "in the group" that brought the fun. I think I am going to go through old HS pictures so I can see that and think about what made me me then so I can return to that.
It's a sad state of events when you realize your SO/Hubby/FuckButt has you so stuck in a mold they consider perfect that you truly believe that ideal is what you should be. I really wish her the best on her journey because I already realize how hard it is to "return to your younger self." You
( ... )
My cousin wore a pair to our Xmas thing and when I commented on them she said, "Oh yes, these are vintage Saucony. They don't make these anymore." *flit of hair* Like she was so fashionable and unique for wearing them. I wanted to tell her they were your thing 10 years ago, but I resisted.
I wouldn't expect you to be 100% high school Meshell, but I think if you just loosened up and stopped caring so much about what these unimportant people think you'd be happier. Just because they are stuffy and "proper" doesn't mean you have to be so.
Haha, I'm gonna end this thread with this... I am so proud of you for not laughing loudly in her face while pulling pictures of me out to prove that bright baby pink were the originals.
Silly girl doesn't know that they aren't vintage... At all. They still make the "classic" style which is known as Jazz. I can go order some from Journeys right now. OH SNAP.
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I think we never connected as a couple because it was so rushed and assumed that we would be good for each other because we had similar interests. I am coming to the realization that I never knew him and he never knew me. We just lived off the belief that "we must got something if we have so many similar interests."
I think we would make great friends, just... not now, especially not so soon after him pulling the rug out from under me.
Reply
You are awesome, period. You don't need to work so hard to let the world know that. Quit stressing over this shit and maybe you'll find your happiness again.
Reply
You are saying things that I have been trying to see. I've been unhappy for a long time, and I've always thought "why why why? What is different now than it was before?"
I remember a time I tried just hard enough to be myself and happy with it. I was the awesome, eccentric girl that had people come up to me at All Region choir rehearsals to tell me that they were in love with Meshell (it was a fan of Meshell). And the only difference? I didn't give a fuck. I really did not give a fuck.
It's time for that to come back. Don't make me to pull out my tube socks and Sauconies to prove just how against the grain I will go to be happy.
It should be noted that when I did try the weirdo ( ... )
Reply
And fuck D is he can't accept you, weird eccentricities and all. Would he be more satisfied if you were one of the clone GF/fiance/wife girls that show up at events and stand back quietly? I'm sure they look nice in the family picture but they add nothing to life.
I really miss the fun-loving, creative, and happy Michelle from high school.
Your sitch reminds me of another girl on my FL. It just occurred to her that she hasn't been the real her for years because of her husband. She's getting a divorce and reverting to her old ways, and she's insanely happy because of it.
Reply
Seriously, D is a fucking tard if he thinks I am going to change myself, fit into a mold, and stfu while looking pretty. Sorry, I am loud-mouthed, excitable, silly, erratic, and all sorts of other adjectives that don't fit into the "dull" category. I expressed to D that the Meshell right now is not the same as the Meshell from the past.
Dude, I miss drawing and being proud of it. I miss wearing all my crazy shit and not caring. I also miss being the person "in the group" that brought the fun. I think I am going to go through old HS pictures so I can see that and think about what made me me then so I can return to that.
It's a sad state of events when you realize your SO/Hubby/FuckButt has you so stuck in a mold they consider perfect that you truly believe that ideal is what you should be. I really wish her the best on her journey because I already realize how hard it is to "return to your younger self." You ( ... )
Reply
I wouldn't expect you to be 100% high school Meshell, but I think if you just loosened up and stopped caring so much about what these unimportant people think you'd be happier. Just because they are stuffy and "proper" doesn't mean you have to be so.
Reply
Silly girl doesn't know that they aren't vintage... At all. They still make the "classic" style which is known as Jazz. I can go order some from Journeys right now. OH SNAP.
Reply
She was also bragging about the "original Forrest Gump" Nikes she got. They are "vintage" too.
Methinks she fails at understanding the difference between vintage and vintage-inspired.
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