Oh wait, it's because I've never had children that I would never understand?
Rant time. You ready?
Recently I was involved in a family tiff where I did not agree with the way my brother-in-law was correcting my niece. The comment (paraphrased) "You have no right to have an opinion in this matter as you have never had children" was issued directed at my little sister (I was not around for the real show down of arguing as I was watching my niece).
This chaps my ass. Are you telling me that I have no right to say "you are going too far" because I've not had children? Obviously, I have no understanding of child development much less how to interact with children in my 2 years of educational pedagogy and over a year in teaching. I also do not have the ability to comprehend that an angry harangue to a child that turns twelve in a week is vital to their understanding of misbehavior. I couldn't possibly "know what it's like" because I've not shat a little air-sucker out of my va-jay-jay. Right.
I really would prefer to not have children. I absolutely love children, think the world of their unsullied eyes, and know in my heart that I could be one of the best damn mothers out there. However, I am selfish, do not want to "ruin my body" with the whole process, and most of all -- I doubt I will ever marry. My one stint of getting close to it scared me off from serious relationships. So, I don't look at my future, saying "Oh damn, there is a kiddo in store!" And if I were to get married? Well, it's an awfully expensive endeavor to just feel good about being a good mother. I have more reasons to not have one than to have one. Good thing I didn't tell my B.I.L. that I am near child-free in attitude.
Because I just wouldn't understand.
I can't get over it. You can have an understanding of sociopathic behavior without being a sociopath or having a child that is one. You can have a firm grasp on cooking without having gone to an expensive school.
Like I told my little sister last night, people who have a magical revelation after having a kid, their opinions suddenly changing tagged with the excuse "when I had Pooky, my whole world changed," were weak to begin with. Your opinions were never strong to begin with if popping out a baby so irrevocably changed the way you view the world.
Guess what El Jay:
1. I believe you should swat a kid when they are getting out of hand, but you should stop when that swat doesn't work. It's called finding out what "teaches your child a lesson," not makes you feel better because you are a latent abusive prick/whore.
2. I believe that if you cannot say something to a child so they understand in a timely manner (2-3 minutes, not a 10 minute bitch-fest), then you are failing at communication. YOU. Not the child. You are the fuck up. An adult has experience to gather from while a child does not. You know how to communicate it 4029348 different ways. And if you don't, learn now or I will pee on your carpet.
3. I believe you best check yo'self befost you wreck yo'self. We are damn adults, and we are wrong. As adults, we have the cognitive ability to question, use judgment, self-educate, and have a purposeful focus. Children don't have that cognitive ability. It's not that they are stupid or immature... They are mentally unable to process information as adults do (imo, they do it in a far more simplistic, empathetic fashion than us adults).
So, to you people who believe that I "just won't understand" until I have my personal ankle-biter, know this... I've educated myself on how to raise a child, and I have enough love in my heart to know that I am still wrong about half of it. I have a lot to learn, and none of it will magically become available to me upon having a baby.
End rant. Thank you ;)
Recently I was involved in a family tiff where I did not agree with the way my brother-in-law was correcting my niece. The comment (paraphrased) "You have no right to have an opinion in this matter as you have never had children" was issued directed at my little sister (I was not around for the real show down of arguing as I was watching my niece).
This chaps my ass. Are you telling me that I have no right to say "you are going too far" because I've not had children? Obviously, I have no understanding of child development much less how to interact with children in my 2 years of educational pedagogy and over a year in teaching. I also do not have the ability to comprehend that an angry harangue to a child that turns twelve in a week is vital to their understanding of misbehavior. I couldn't possibly "know what it's like" because I've not shat a little air-sucker out of my va-jay-jay. Right.
I really would prefer to not have children. I absolutely love children, think the world of their unsullied eyes, and know in my heart that I could be one of the best damn mothers out there. However, I am selfish, do not want to "ruin my body" with the whole process, and most of all -- I doubt I will ever marry. My one stint of getting close to it scared me off from serious relationships. So, I don't look at my future, saying "Oh damn, there is a kiddo in store!" And if I were to get married? Well, it's an awfully expensive endeavor to just feel good about being a good mother. I have more reasons to not have one than to have one. Good thing I didn't tell my B.I.L. that I am near child-free in attitude.
Because I just wouldn't understand.
I can't get over it. You can have an understanding of sociopathic behavior without being a sociopath or having a child that is one. You can have a firm grasp on cooking without having gone to an expensive school.
Like I told my little sister last night, people who have a magical revelation after having a kid, their opinions suddenly changing tagged with the excuse "when I had Pooky, my whole world changed," were weak to begin with. Your opinions were never strong to begin with if popping out a baby so irrevocably changed the way you view the world.
Guess what El Jay:
1. I believe you should swat a kid when they are getting out of hand, but you should stop when that swat doesn't work. It's called finding out what "teaches your child a lesson," not makes you feel better because you are a latent abusive prick/whore.
2. I believe that if you cannot say something to a child so they understand in a timely manner (2-3 minutes, not a 10 minute bitch-fest), then you are failing at communication. YOU. Not the child. You are the fuck up. An adult has experience to gather from while a child does not. You know how to communicate it 4029348 different ways. And if you don't, learn now or I will pee on your carpet.
3. I believe you best check yo'self befost you wreck yo'self. We are damn adults, and we are wrong. As adults, we have the cognitive ability to question, use judgment, self-educate, and have a purposeful focus. Children don't have that cognitive ability. It's not that they are stupid or immature... They are mentally unable to process information as adults do (imo, they do it in a far more simplistic, empathetic fashion than us adults).
So, to you people who believe that I "just won't understand" until I have my personal ankle-biter, know this... I've educated myself on how to raise a child, and I have enough love in my heart to know that I am still wrong about half of it. I have a lot to learn, and none of it will magically become available to me upon having a baby.
End rant. Thank you ;)