What Went Well in 2023 - Or, Not Quite Resolutions 2023
Normally, I'd title this post "Resolutions 2023" or some such thing, but after the more or less total failure of my 2022 resolutions, or more accurately, my uncharacteristic failure to remember my 2022 resolutions and the subsequent failure to even attempt to keep them, I opted against making any resolutions for 2023. This was probably the right choice, given that we spent a month of the year in Hilton Head and then I got laid off, all while having a two-year-old (ok, she wasn't two for the entire Hilton Head trip). Extended travel can cause some stress, unemployment is inherently stressful and two-year-olds can be stressful, so I suspect that if I had made any resolutions in 2023 they would have probably spun out completely.
If I had made resolutions, they probably would have had the obligatory health items. And a lot of them would have been pretty successful.
- I successfully cut out basically all of the foods that make my GI issues flare up. On the one hand, this means I cut out all sorts of fun things (alcohol!). On the other hand, my stomach pain has nearly disappeared, to the point where my doctor wants me to try and wean myself off of the stomach medicine I was taking.
- I cancelled all my subscriptions when I got laid off, including my CrossFit membership. On the other hand, I took my existing walks to the lake and standardized them and then threw a weighted backpack on for good measure. I walked a lot this year.
- My weight stayed stable at around 220 all year, which is pretty good considering I wasn't in the gym.
- On the downside, I'm waging a fighting retreat against my slowly rising blood sugar, so there's a real likelihood I'm going to have cut out sugar/carbs even more aggressively in the future.
A lot of my old resolutions were about social connections of one sort or another. Something that went well in 2023 that probably wouldn't have been a resolution was being generally sociable and seeing people. There was a perfect storm of things that made this work surprisingly well.
- Having a two-year-old who wanted to play outside took us out on our street more than at any point since our dogs passed away. Even better, during the pandemic a lot of my neighbors started sitting outside in their front yards, so there are actually consistently people to see during good weather in the evenings. Even more better, a lot of those people have kids in Birdie's age bracket. I know a lot more neighbors than I've ever known before in the 16+ years I've lived here. I went from having one neighbor in my phone contacts (my long-time dogwalker/housesitter) to six. With one exception that I'll cover in a moment, I'm not particularly close with any of these people and darkness/winter has cut down interactions substantially, but it'll pick up again in the spring.
- While I was walking to the lake (sans Birdie this year), I've run into a bunch of neighbors walking. I walked a few times with my neighbor Christine, but our schedules usually don't align. On the other hand, I ran into my retired neighbor Tom from across the street. Tom is actually from North Dakota (born in Minot, high school in Grand Forks) and spent most of his adult life in northern Minnesota before retiring to my street to be near his daughter and grandchildren. He even met his recently deceased wife at the BWCA. In short, he's pretty much like the guys I used to go camping with, and we get along great. He and I have gone on dozens of early morning walks together this year, chatting most of the time. This has slowed down as hit the January freeze, but I'm hopeful it'll get going again once it's warmer.
- After the first month of Sunday School, I started scheduling post-class lunch with friends on the east side of Cleveland. In November and December, Birdie and I had lunch with a lot of different people at their homes or the occasional restaurant. We will continue this semester.
- We had what was probably an all-time record number of people come over for dinner in 2023. Birdie's "aunts" were prominently featured - Genevieve and Jim and Kid A, Kris, Danita and John, Kendra and Dan, Beth and Adam, but plenty of other folks made at least one appearance. There was also the occasional dinner over at other people's houses, but really it turns out that if you ask people over for dinner they say yes 90% of the time. Can I retroactively declare success for my 2016 resolution to 'Cook for People'? Probably not, but I can and will keep this going in 2024.
Brief tangent: fatherhood made me realize this past year that I was probably not as great of a friend in the past to my friends who had young kids, as I rarely reached out to do anything with them. I probably assumed they had things going on or couldn't find babysitters, and while the number of times I reached out is not zero, it sure wasn't very high either. Speaking from the perfect view of hindsight, if your friends have newish kids, please reach out to them anyway. You can bring takeout over, you can invite them over (tiny kids are super portable), you can meet them somewhere. I mean, you should probably reach out to any friends you really care about anyway and not assume they're busy, but it goes double for friends with little kids.
Harkening back to old resolutions, other things that went well in 2024:
- In 2016 I sent birthday cards to virtually all of my Facebook and real world friends. After skipping 2017, I've done it every subsequent year. In 2023 everyone got a music trading card from the either the 1991 Pro Set SuperStars Musicards UK set or American set, wrapped in a plain generic card. It was weird and great.
- I haven't had red meat since I gave it up in 2019.
- We've done a pretty good job of keeping decluttered. In particular, stuff Birdie has outgrown has left at a pretty consistent tempo. M gave away more stuff on the buy nothing group (she probably acquired more than what left though) and in December I hauled several bags and boxes to Goodwill, including two bags of clothing feature the logo of my old employer.
- Once autumn came around, I really consistently made bread every Friday for Shabbat.
And some that went less well:
- My philanthropic monthly donation system fell apart intentionally when I was laid off. As my income ramps back up, it will come back.
- I rode my bike exactly once because my friend John dragged me out. I just don't have the time.
If I had made resolutions, they probably would have had the obligatory health items. And a lot of them would have been pretty successful.
- I successfully cut out basically all of the foods that make my GI issues flare up. On the one hand, this means I cut out all sorts of fun things (alcohol!). On the other hand, my stomach pain has nearly disappeared, to the point where my doctor wants me to try and wean myself off of the stomach medicine I was taking.
- I cancelled all my subscriptions when I got laid off, including my CrossFit membership. On the other hand, I took my existing walks to the lake and standardized them and then threw a weighted backpack on for good measure. I walked a lot this year.
- My weight stayed stable at around 220 all year, which is pretty good considering I wasn't in the gym.
- On the downside, I'm waging a fighting retreat against my slowly rising blood sugar, so there's a real likelihood I'm going to have cut out sugar/carbs even more aggressively in the future.
A lot of my old resolutions were about social connections of one sort or another. Something that went well in 2023 that probably wouldn't have been a resolution was being generally sociable and seeing people. There was a perfect storm of things that made this work surprisingly well.
- Having a two-year-old who wanted to play outside took us out on our street more than at any point since our dogs passed away. Even better, during the pandemic a lot of my neighbors started sitting outside in their front yards, so there are actually consistently people to see during good weather in the evenings. Even more better, a lot of those people have kids in Birdie's age bracket. I know a lot more neighbors than I've ever known before in the 16+ years I've lived here. I went from having one neighbor in my phone contacts (my long-time dogwalker/housesitter) to six. With one exception that I'll cover in a moment, I'm not particularly close with any of these people and darkness/winter has cut down interactions substantially, but it'll pick up again in the spring.
- While I was walking to the lake (sans Birdie this year), I've run into a bunch of neighbors walking. I walked a few times with my neighbor Christine, but our schedules usually don't align. On the other hand, I ran into my retired neighbor Tom from across the street. Tom is actually from North Dakota (born in Minot, high school in Grand Forks) and spent most of his adult life in northern Minnesota before retiring to my street to be near his daughter and grandchildren. He even met his recently deceased wife at the BWCA. In short, he's pretty much like the guys I used to go camping with, and we get along great. He and I have gone on dozens of early morning walks together this year, chatting most of the time. This has slowed down as hit the January freeze, but I'm hopeful it'll get going again once it's warmer.
- After the first month of Sunday School, I started scheduling post-class lunch with friends on the east side of Cleveland. In November and December, Birdie and I had lunch with a lot of different people at their homes or the occasional restaurant. We will continue this semester.
- We had what was probably an all-time record number of people come over for dinner in 2023. Birdie's "aunts" were prominently featured - Genevieve and Jim and Kid A, Kris, Danita and John, Kendra and Dan, Beth and Adam, but plenty of other folks made at least one appearance. There was also the occasional dinner over at other people's houses, but really it turns out that if you ask people over for dinner they say yes 90% of the time. Can I retroactively declare success for my 2016 resolution to 'Cook for People'? Probably not, but I can and will keep this going in 2024.
Brief tangent: fatherhood made me realize this past year that I was probably not as great of a friend in the past to my friends who had young kids, as I rarely reached out to do anything with them. I probably assumed they had things going on or couldn't find babysitters, and while the number of times I reached out is not zero, it sure wasn't very high either. Speaking from the perfect view of hindsight, if your friends have newish kids, please reach out to them anyway. You can bring takeout over, you can invite them over (tiny kids are super portable), you can meet them somewhere. I mean, you should probably reach out to any friends you really care about anyway and not assume they're busy, but it goes double for friends with little kids.
Harkening back to old resolutions, other things that went well in 2024:
- In 2016 I sent birthday cards to virtually all of my Facebook and real world friends. After skipping 2017, I've done it every subsequent year. In 2023 everyone got a music trading card from the either the 1991 Pro Set SuperStars Musicards UK set or American set, wrapped in a plain generic card. It was weird and great.
- I haven't had red meat since I gave it up in 2019.
- We've done a pretty good job of keeping decluttered. In particular, stuff Birdie has outgrown has left at a pretty consistent tempo. M gave away more stuff on the buy nothing group (she probably acquired more than what left though) and in December I hauled several bags and boxes to Goodwill, including two bags of clothing feature the logo of my old employer.
- Once autumn came around, I really consistently made bread every Friday for Shabbat.
And some that went less well:
- My philanthropic monthly donation system fell apart intentionally when I was laid off. As my income ramps back up, it will come back.
- I rode my bike exactly once because my friend John dragged me out. I just don't have the time.