What a twist of fate...
Everything has that funny way of turning round when you least expect it.
Give yourself a perfectly unrealistic list of qualities you want from a guy so you know you'll never find him, you know you'll never get hurt, and you know you can carry on with your life focusing on other important things instead. Then you stumble upon a guy who one by one ticks every unrealistic box you could have ever imagined, and then some you didn't imagine... Surfer, taller, older, beautiful eyes, loves those pretty little moments in life, gives you that fireworks feeling, is a biter (and a tie-upper *froth*), has the same morals, same sense of humour, a smile that makes my insides fuzzy, is the perfect amount of cheesy, does the man-job of thinking of ways to impress, wears shirts over t-shirts, has a passion for music (and as it turns out actually plays drums), has friends he wants me to meet, wants to be involved with my friends, helps me match-make other friends, wants the same things from life....
Then you get a raise at work, get close with some best friends and make tons of new friends, never have a spare moment in a week where you're not doing something wonderful, lose 4 stone and have to buy more and more new beautiful clothes...
And somehow, magically, you keep the balance of everything juuuuuust right, keep the appreciation up for those who deserve it, keep the concentration on the important things, still have time to yourself to try and sew a panda... and find yourself finally appreciating the colours of the world again.
I never want to forget these moments. I want them so heavily imprinted in my head I can repeat them over and over like a movie, and I can remember when it all fitted into place...
'In the future, these will be the good ol' days...'
I don't regret anything anymore. It all had to happen to get to this point. I had to make mistakes, I had to hurt, I had to hurt others to feel the guilt and the shame so I'll never do it again. I had to see for myself what life needs to be about, cause I'd lost my way.
Now hopefully I can add making others happy to my list :)
Give yourself a perfectly unrealistic list of qualities you want from a guy so you know you'll never find him, you know you'll never get hurt, and you know you can carry on with your life focusing on other important things instead. Then you stumble upon a guy who one by one ticks every unrealistic box you could have ever imagined, and then some you didn't imagine... Surfer, taller, older, beautiful eyes, loves those pretty little moments in life, gives you that fireworks feeling, is a biter (and a tie-upper *froth*), has the same morals, same sense of humour, a smile that makes my insides fuzzy, is the perfect amount of cheesy, does the man-job of thinking of ways to impress, wears shirts over t-shirts, has a passion for music (and as it turns out actually plays drums), has friends he wants me to meet, wants to be involved with my friends, helps me match-make other friends, wants the same things from life....
Then you get a raise at work, get close with some best friends and make tons of new friends, never have a spare moment in a week where you're not doing something wonderful, lose 4 stone and have to buy more and more new beautiful clothes...
And somehow, magically, you keep the balance of everything juuuuuust right, keep the appreciation up for those who deserve it, keep the concentration on the important things, still have time to yourself to try and sew a panda... and find yourself finally appreciating the colours of the world again.
I never want to forget these moments. I want them so heavily imprinted in my head I can repeat them over and over like a movie, and I can remember when it all fitted into place...
'In the future, these will be the good ol' days...'
I don't regret anything anymore. It all had to happen to get to this point. I had to make mistakes, I had to hurt, I had to hurt others to feel the guilt and the shame so I'll never do it again. I had to see for myself what life needs to be about, cause I'd lost my way.
Now hopefully I can add making others happy to my list :)