A Little Starstruck... and the power of not thinking
There's still time for you to win the ARC of Starstruck and get your very own Starstruck bookmark! Just send an email to cyn at cynbalog dot come with your address by January 31. I've already gotten a lot of requests so keep them coming!!
While I was in the process of reminding you about my Starstruck giveaway, I thought I'd share a little bit about how it came to be written. I've said before that of all the books I've worked on, Starstruck is very close to my heart. That is because Dough, the main character, is a lot like me. She's very insecure due to her weight. Now, I've never struggled much with my weight, but I have struggled with body image all my life. I had something called Body Dysmorphic Disorder when I was young, which meant that I spend hours upon hours thinking of my defect, devising ways to make myself look normal, and generally wallowing and going "Why me?" to the heavens. Dough, though it's never spelled out in the novel that she has an actual disorder, is the same. The word "Fat" is constantly swirling in her head, and every day it seems to grow bigger, shutting out all the other thoughts. She is so obsessed by her body fat that she can't stop herself from formulating one put-down after another. In fact, she puts herself down so much that it's painful and awkward for other people to be in her presence... and that might even include the reader.
The problem, really, is with thinking. I'm an introverted person. I think a lot. I used to think that thinking was a good thing. But the fact is, too much thinking about the wrong things can be so detrimental, it can kill you. I remember being so obsessed with my problems that it clouded out sane thoughts. I could barely eat or concentrate on anything because I was so busy wondering what people would think of me. I had to train myself not to think.
I know, you're saying, "Impossible! I'm a thinker! You can't not think!" It's not a very easy thing to learn, especially if you're a writer who has to imagine all sorts of things for a living. But once you stop dwelling and start doing, it becomes easier and easier. When I learned not to think, just take tasks (even the smallest ones) one at a time without dwelling on what could happen or what that person thinks about me or what that meant, things got better. I eventually stopped obsessing about myself and got on with it.
The book, though, is only partly about Dough learning to accept herself. There is a paranormal aspect, but it's mostly about the insecurities in everyone and how we can either choose to wallow in them, or just accept them and move on.
For more information on Body Dysmorphic Disorder, please visit BDD Central.