(no subject)
Is it that hard to only flirt with people you're genuinely interested in? I mean, fuck. I've struck out so many times now that I just feel numb to everything. When someone shows the slightest interest at this point I don't feel anything but upset knowing that, inevitably, once I show something back that I'M just going to end up being the one hurt again.
It's not like I'm even making it to the first step.
I know I've heard every excuse in the book and had every word offered in support or advice. There's nothing anyone can say or do to make it feel better. I'm just someone who can't stand being alone or doing this alone. I'm just fucked because my views seem to be opposite the norm--I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I take everything seriously. Every action affects me and it's never empty. I don't offer flattery or flirt with anyone that I'm not genuinely and wholly interested in. I've been burned before and it sucks and I want something true and genuine and cavalier.
But I feel like I'm just a play thing in everyone's eyes. A cheap, fun flirt with money--good for a time waster but never anything serious.
It's funny how the more it takes it's toll, the less I feel about it.
Patience is a virtue, the taken and happy always tell me. Well, I guess the joke is that I've never been very virtuous.
It's not like I'm even making it to the first step.
I know I've heard every excuse in the book and had every word offered in support or advice. There's nothing anyone can say or do to make it feel better. I'm just someone who can't stand being alone or doing this alone. I'm just fucked because my views seem to be opposite the norm--I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I take everything seriously. Every action affects me and it's never empty. I don't offer flattery or flirt with anyone that I'm not genuinely and wholly interested in. I've been burned before and it sucks and I want something true and genuine and cavalier.
But I feel like I'm just a play thing in everyone's eyes. A cheap, fun flirt with money--good for a time waster but never anything serious.
It's funny how the more it takes it's toll, the less I feel about it.
Patience is a virtue, the taken and happy always tell me. Well, I guess the joke is that I've never been very virtuous.