Ficlet: The Dresden Files: Critical Eye
Written for fanfic50 and cross posted to dresdenfic.
Title: Critical Eye
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 37. Beam
Word Count: 484
Rating: PG
Summary: Home improvement, Dresden edition.
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Table: Here There be Ghosts
"A bit more to the left," said Bob.
Harry obediently extended the tip of his wand, in the guise of a wooden drumstick, an inch to the left.
"More."
"How much more?"
"A fraction of an inch or so."
Harry complied.
Bob stroked his chin, considering. "A touch higher."
Harry looked over his shoulder; no easy task, considering his arm was completely extended over his head. "Any higher, Bob, and someone’s gonna think I’m trying to replace the Statue of Liberty."
"Green isn’t your color," said Bob, unphased. "Higher, please."
With a martyred sigh, Harry elevated himself a bit higher by pushing up onto his toes. The chair rocked beneath him, threatening his balance. He threw out his free hand, using the flat of his palm against the ceiling beam to steady himself.
"No, no, no! Now it’s completely off!" exclaimed Bob. "You’ll have to start over."
"Start over?" demanded Harry. "Hells bells! It’s just one warding rune! Let’s just get the damned thing up here and call it a day."
"One warding rune," Bob agreed with a curt nod and swept his hand in an elegant gesture to indicate the other images glowing faintly against the building’s scarred wood. "One among many. Its placement is critical."
"It’s not a picture frame, for crying out loud. No one’s going to be able to see it except us. Who cares if it’s not level?"
"I will care and so should you," Bob advised as he pointed to the symbol on the beam immediately to Harry’s left. "Vary just a fraction too far or too close to that particular glyph and you will succeed in disintegrating a third of the ceiling and everything above it." He arched a pale eyebrow. "It is of no concern to me, of course, but I doubt you or your neighbors would appreciate the building falling down around your ears."
Harry’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at the glyph in question. "You’re not serious."
"No, of course not. Your neighbors wouldn’t give a damn if the building crushed you. They will, however, disapprove of suddenly having their homes drop to the ground floor. The landlord will surely increase their rent for the advantage."
"You’re full of shit, Bob. Nothing’s going to happen if it’s not 100% level."
"Suit yourself," the ghost shrugged. "Since I am no longer needed, I will retire to my skull and wait for the earth shattering kaboom." He sighed melodramatically. "A pity I won’t be able to say I-told-you-so after the event. My inability to speak with other phantoms precludes such pleasantries."
"Alright. Alright!" snapped Harry before Bob could vanish. "Fine. We’ll do it your way." He glared at the ghost, although there was little anger or malice in it. "Your anal, painstaking, tedious way."
Bob inclined his head slightly, as if acknowledging a supreme compliment. "Your neighbors will thank me, even if you do not."
Title: Critical Eye
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 37. Beam
Word Count: 484
Rating: PG
Summary: Home improvement, Dresden edition.
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Table: Here There be Ghosts
"A bit more to the left," said Bob.
Harry obediently extended the tip of his wand, in the guise of a wooden drumstick, an inch to the left.
"More."
"How much more?"
"A fraction of an inch or so."
Harry complied.
Bob stroked his chin, considering. "A touch higher."
Harry looked over his shoulder; no easy task, considering his arm was completely extended over his head. "Any higher, Bob, and someone’s gonna think I’m trying to replace the Statue of Liberty."
"Green isn’t your color," said Bob, unphased. "Higher, please."
With a martyred sigh, Harry elevated himself a bit higher by pushing up onto his toes. The chair rocked beneath him, threatening his balance. He threw out his free hand, using the flat of his palm against the ceiling beam to steady himself.
"No, no, no! Now it’s completely off!" exclaimed Bob. "You’ll have to start over."
"Start over?" demanded Harry. "Hells bells! It’s just one warding rune! Let’s just get the damned thing up here and call it a day."
"One warding rune," Bob agreed with a curt nod and swept his hand in an elegant gesture to indicate the other images glowing faintly against the building’s scarred wood. "One among many. Its placement is critical."
"It’s not a picture frame, for crying out loud. No one’s going to be able to see it except us. Who cares if it’s not level?"
"I will care and so should you," Bob advised as he pointed to the symbol on the beam immediately to Harry’s left. "Vary just a fraction too far or too close to that particular glyph and you will succeed in disintegrating a third of the ceiling and everything above it." He arched a pale eyebrow. "It is of no concern to me, of course, but I doubt you or your neighbors would appreciate the building falling down around your ears."
Harry’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at the glyph in question. "You’re not serious."
"No, of course not. Your neighbors wouldn’t give a damn if the building crushed you. They will, however, disapprove of suddenly having their homes drop to the ground floor. The landlord will surely increase their rent for the advantage."
"You’re full of shit, Bob. Nothing’s going to happen if it’s not 100% level."
"Suit yourself," the ghost shrugged. "Since I am no longer needed, I will retire to my skull and wait for the earth shattering kaboom." He sighed melodramatically. "A pity I won’t be able to say I-told-you-so after the event. My inability to speak with other phantoms precludes such pleasantries."
"Alright. Alright!" snapped Harry before Bob could vanish. "Fine. We’ll do it your way." He glared at the ghost, although there was little anger or malice in it. "Your anal, painstaking, tedious way."
Bob inclined his head slightly, as if acknowledging a supreme compliment. "Your neighbors will thank me, even if you do not."