Dresden Files: Ficlet: What Goes Around
Written for fanfic50, cross-posted to dresdenfic.
Title: What Goes Around
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 18. Bent
Word Count: 819
Rating: G
Summary: Harry manages to dispel an insidious curse with unexpected results.
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Notes: Sequel to LOL
Table: Here There be Ghosts
When Harry returned home later that evening, it was with a spring to his step and a song in his heart. In fact, he was actually singing out loud; a rare occurrence, since he disliked the sound of his own voice and arguably couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Nevertheless, sing he did, not only because he was feeling uncharacteristically upbeat but also to prove a point.
"I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical."
Harry's interpretation of the melody was met with a yowl of disapproval from Mister, who jumped down from the kitchen counter and stalked out of the room in a feline huff before more damage could be done to his sensitive ears.
"Everyone's a critic." Harry shrugged and began another verse. It was the pronunciation of the words that he was striving for, not perfect pitch.
"I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General!"
Harry finished with a flourish, arms thrown wide like a concert performer ready to accept the accolades of an adoring audience. He was met with heavy silence.
"What, not even one snarky comment for butchering Gilbert and Sullivan?" Harry grinned as he sauntered across the room to the mantle where a rune-engraved skull watched with dark, bony eye sockets. "Or are you sulking because I actually did something that you couldn't? I not only found the counter-spell to the curse, but I executed it myself. Just me, myself, and I. Pretty great, huh?"
When still no reply was forthcoming, Harry tapped the cranium with a finger. "Stop sulking."
A slight glimmer within the bony depths was the only indication that he was not talking entirely to himself.
"Come on, Bob, lighten up. I'm not blaming you for failing. I know you tried your b-"
"Faild? FAILD?! I did NOT fail!" An angry wasp of orange flame shout out of the relic so suddenly that Harry was forced to take a stumbling step backward. A heartbeat later, Bob stood before the younger wizard in all of his highly outraged and frustrated fury. "Had u waitd moment longr, I wud has presentd u wif solushun dat wud has harmd no wan!"
Harry's eyes widened in shocked surprise at the bizarre collection of words. "What did you just--?"
"But no! Patience iz virtue u has nevr posessd, an so u left 2 find sum othr remedy without mah guidance."
As the initial shock passed, Harry quickly lifted a hand to his mouth to stifle the emotion that suddenly threatened to bubble forth.
"Ah shuddr 2 finkz wut it dat u did, cuz - DOAN Y DARE LAFF AT ME!"
He couldn't help himself. The sound of Bob's oh-so-cultured voice enunciating such gibberish was far too ludicrous. The laughter burst out of its own accord, bringing tears to Harry's eyes with the sheer force of it.
"Im glad u find it so amusin. I, howevr, do not finkz it teh least bit funny!" With an expression of righteous indignation, the ghost abruptly dematerialized and vanished back into his skull.
"I'm sorry, Bob. Really, I am." The apology might have been more convincing had it not been punctuated by giggles. "Don't you worry. We'll fix this. I promise."
"We will do no such ting," snapped the skull. "U brought bout dis debacle. It up 2 u 2 rectify it."
"You know, now that I think about it, I might like you better this way." A terrible thing to say, of course, but Harry couldn't help himself. "You don't sound quite as stuffy."
Bob's response was swift and unmistakable, as Harry suddenly felt the room temperature plummet to nearly arctic levels. What he did not expect was to hear the skull begin to sing in a rich baritone.
"In short, when i has smatterin ov elemental strategee
ull say bettr major-general had nevr sat gee."
The singing paused just long enough for Bob to rigidly advise, "I can keep dis up indefinitely. Dai an nite, if ned be. Forevr."
"I think I can handle it."
"Do u so?" Bob resumed singing.
"4 mah military knowledge, though im plucky an adventury;
Has only been brought down 2 teh beginnin ov teh sentury;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, an mineral,
I r vry model ov modern major-general!"
"Okay, I get the point." Harry threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Uncle, already! I'll start working on the counter-spell."
"C dat u do it rite dis tiem."
"I don't know what went wrong the last time," Harry admitted. "But now that I know there are side effects, maybe I can get it to boomerang onto Morgan."
Title: What Goes Around
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 18. Bent
Word Count: 819
Rating: G
Summary: Harry manages to dispel an insidious curse with unexpected results.
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Notes: Sequel to LOL
Table: Here There be Ghosts
When Harry returned home later that evening, it was with a spring to his step and a song in his heart. In fact, he was actually singing out loud; a rare occurrence, since he disliked the sound of his own voice and arguably couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Nevertheless, sing he did, not only because he was feeling uncharacteristically upbeat but also to prove a point.
"I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical."
Harry's interpretation of the melody was met with a yowl of disapproval from Mister, who jumped down from the kitchen counter and stalked out of the room in a feline huff before more damage could be done to his sensitive ears.
"Everyone's a critic." Harry shrugged and began another verse. It was the pronunciation of the words that he was striving for, not perfect pitch.
"I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General!"
Harry finished with a flourish, arms thrown wide like a concert performer ready to accept the accolades of an adoring audience. He was met with heavy silence.
"What, not even one snarky comment for butchering Gilbert and Sullivan?" Harry grinned as he sauntered across the room to the mantle where a rune-engraved skull watched with dark, bony eye sockets. "Or are you sulking because I actually did something that you couldn't? I not only found the counter-spell to the curse, but I executed it myself. Just me, myself, and I. Pretty great, huh?"
When still no reply was forthcoming, Harry tapped the cranium with a finger. "Stop sulking."
A slight glimmer within the bony depths was the only indication that he was not talking entirely to himself.
"Come on, Bob, lighten up. I'm not blaming you for failing. I know you tried your b-"
"Faild? FAILD?! I did NOT fail!" An angry wasp of orange flame shout out of the relic so suddenly that Harry was forced to take a stumbling step backward. A heartbeat later, Bob stood before the younger wizard in all of his highly outraged and frustrated fury. "Had u waitd moment longr, I wud has presentd u wif solushun dat wud has harmd no wan!"
Harry's eyes widened in shocked surprise at the bizarre collection of words. "What did you just--?"
"But no! Patience iz virtue u has nevr posessd, an so u left 2 find sum othr remedy without mah guidance."
As the initial shock passed, Harry quickly lifted a hand to his mouth to stifle the emotion that suddenly threatened to bubble forth.
"Ah shuddr 2 finkz wut it dat u did, cuz - DOAN Y DARE LAFF AT ME!"
He couldn't help himself. The sound of Bob's oh-so-cultured voice enunciating such gibberish was far too ludicrous. The laughter burst out of its own accord, bringing tears to Harry's eyes with the sheer force of it.
"Im glad u find it so amusin. I, howevr, do not finkz it teh least bit funny!" With an expression of righteous indignation, the ghost abruptly dematerialized and vanished back into his skull.
"I'm sorry, Bob. Really, I am." The apology might have been more convincing had it not been punctuated by giggles. "Don't you worry. We'll fix this. I promise."
"We will do no such ting," snapped the skull. "U brought bout dis debacle. It up 2 u 2 rectify it."
"You know, now that I think about it, I might like you better this way." A terrible thing to say, of course, but Harry couldn't help himself. "You don't sound quite as stuffy."
Bob's response was swift and unmistakable, as Harry suddenly felt the room temperature plummet to nearly arctic levels. What he did not expect was to hear the skull begin to sing in a rich baritone.
"In short, when i has smatterin ov elemental strategee
ull say bettr major-general had nevr sat gee."
The singing paused just long enough for Bob to rigidly advise, "I can keep dis up indefinitely. Dai an nite, if ned be. Forevr."
"I think I can handle it."
"Do u so?" Bob resumed singing.
"4 mah military knowledge, though im plucky an adventury;
Has only been brought down 2 teh beginnin ov teh sentury;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, an mineral,
I r vry model ov modern major-general!"
"Okay, I get the point." Harry threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Uncle, already! I'll start working on the counter-spell."
"C dat u do it rite dis tiem."
"I don't know what went wrong the last time," Harry admitted. "But now that I know there are side effects, maybe I can get it to boomerang onto Morgan."