Fic: Dresden Files: Lack of Direction
Written for fanfic50.
Title: Lack of Direction
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 19. Analyze
Word Count: 915
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry participates in a frustrating, time-honored tradition.
Note: Variation on a theme begun by DyanaRoseJill
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Table: Here There be Ghosts
Harry Dresden's living room floor was invisible, having vanished beneath a haphazard array of wood, paper, and colorful plastics. The wizard himself had carved out a niche for himself in the furthermost corner, sitting on his heels like a rumpled spider in an unusual web.
"I admit that I am somewhat puzzled," Bob confessed as he observed the chaos. "What manner of sorcery are you endeavoring?"
"It's not sorcery." Harry reached for a rectangular bit of wood with a smaller rectangle cut in the center. "It's a doll house."
Bob favored him with a chill glance. "Considering the size and nature of the components with which you have carpeted the floor, that much is obvious. Allow me to rephrase the question. What manner of sorcery requires the use of a miniature dwelling? If you intend to ensnare a soul within--"
"Mind out of the grimoire, Bob," said Harry as he picked up a small window frame. "It's for Anna."
"Lieutenant Murphy's daughter?"
"It's a birthday present." The window snapped into the rectangular hole with a satisfying click. "Murph's got night shift and won't have a chance to put it together before the party tomorrow."
"So you volunteered."
"Yup. And this way, there's no chance Anna's going to stumble on the surprise before it's finished."
"How very chivalrous of you."
"Just paying back a favor. Um, Bob? Do you mind? You're standing on the front door."
"Hmmm?" He glanced down. "So I am."
"If you could just--?" Harry made a little 'shooing' motion with his hand. "You know. Just an inch or two?"
"Yes, of course. " Bob shifted his foot a bit to the left so that Harry could claim the piece without the risk of encountering spectral ectoplasm. "There do seem to be quite a lot of components for the construction of one dollhouse."
"Eight hundred and thirty-seven pieces." Harry pulled another window toward him. "Not including accessories."
"So many? How curious. In my day, one needed only four walls, a roof, and a few nails to construct such a plaything."
"In your day, they didn’t have hot and cold running water, a toilet that really flushes, and a two car garage."
Bob glanced around the room once more and realized that a crucial element appeared to be missing. "Where is the diagram that you are working from?"
"The directions are in the box."
"Have you suddenly acquired the ability to see through solid objects?"
"Nope. Don't need 'em. How hard can this be? Sure, there's a lot of small stuff, but it's just a dollhouse."
"This from the wizard who still struggles to fashion a truly viable invisibility potion from eight basic ingredients."
"This isn't alchemy. It's a whole lot simpler, trust me. Fit slot-A into tab-B kind of stuff. A monkey could do it," said Harry with supreme confidence. "I'll have this beauty together in a couple of hours. Three at most. You just wait and see."
Clearly skeptical, Bob folded his arms across his chest. "So I shall."
~ ~ ~
Six hours later, Harry had managed to construct little more than a hollow lean-to with mismatched windows and a partial roof. The ordered chaos had long since exploded into piles of cluttered bits and pieces tossed aside or thrown into ragged piles.
"Do you see Part 216? I can't find Part 216."
"What do you imagine it to look like?"
"I'm not sure. I think it's part of the wainscoting. It's got to be the piece that holds this part of the roof in place."
"But you're not certain."
"No, but it's the only one that makes sense."
"If you would take a moment to consult-"
"I do NOT need the directions! I can do this!"
"Harry, there is no shame in-"
"NO!" he snapped irritably. "Just shut up and help me find the damned part, okay?
The ghost mutely nodded and began yet another fruitless search among the debris.
~ ~ ~
At the eleventh hour, just as the first rays of dawn began to peek through a dusty glass window, Harry Dresden flopped onto his back in exhaustion and cried uncle.
"It's impossible. IMPOSSIBLE! Whoever put this thing on the market is a sadist!"
"If I could-"
"DON'T say it! Okay? DON'T." Harry lifted his head to glare at the ghost through bleary eyes. "I'll say it." His head fell back onto the floor with a defeated thunk! "I should have read the frigging manual." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Dammit. What am I going to tell Murph?"
Not entirely unsympathetic to Harry's plight, Bob said reasonably, "What if someone else were to read the diagram?"
Harry lifted his head again. "Huh?" he said eloquently.
"Would it assuage your bruised ego if I were to read the directions instead? In that way, technically, you may say that you had no need to consult them to accomplish the task and Miss Anna will have her gift in time for her party. The Lieutenant will be impressed."
"And I'll feel like a complete and utter ass." Harry wearily pushed himself into a sitting position and reached over to snag the empty cardboard box. "To hell with it," he said as he fished out the directions. "You were right, I was wrong."
Bob regarded Harry with amusement. "That may be the nicest thing you have ever said to me."
"You're welcome." Harry unfurled the large schematic. "Help me find Part 1A for Tab 2B…"
Title: Lack of Direction
Fandom: The Dresden Files (tv-verse)
Characters: Bob, Harry
Prompt: 19. Analyze
Word Count: 915
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry participates in a frustrating, time-honored tradition.
Note: Variation on a theme begun by DyanaRoseJill
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files do not belong to me. Just passing through.
Table: Here There be Ghosts
Harry Dresden's living room floor was invisible, having vanished beneath a haphazard array of wood, paper, and colorful plastics. The wizard himself had carved out a niche for himself in the furthermost corner, sitting on his heels like a rumpled spider in an unusual web.
"I admit that I am somewhat puzzled," Bob confessed as he observed the chaos. "What manner of sorcery are you endeavoring?"
"It's not sorcery." Harry reached for a rectangular bit of wood with a smaller rectangle cut in the center. "It's a doll house."
Bob favored him with a chill glance. "Considering the size and nature of the components with which you have carpeted the floor, that much is obvious. Allow me to rephrase the question. What manner of sorcery requires the use of a miniature dwelling? If you intend to ensnare a soul within--"
"Mind out of the grimoire, Bob," said Harry as he picked up a small window frame. "It's for Anna."
"Lieutenant Murphy's daughter?"
"It's a birthday present." The window snapped into the rectangular hole with a satisfying click. "Murph's got night shift and won't have a chance to put it together before the party tomorrow."
"So you volunteered."
"Yup. And this way, there's no chance Anna's going to stumble on the surprise before it's finished."
"How very chivalrous of you."
"Just paying back a favor. Um, Bob? Do you mind? You're standing on the front door."
"Hmmm?" He glanced down. "So I am."
"If you could just--?" Harry made a little 'shooing' motion with his hand. "You know. Just an inch or two?"
"Yes, of course. " Bob shifted his foot a bit to the left so that Harry could claim the piece without the risk of encountering spectral ectoplasm. "There do seem to be quite a lot of components for the construction of one dollhouse."
"Eight hundred and thirty-seven pieces." Harry pulled another window toward him. "Not including accessories."
"So many? How curious. In my day, one needed only four walls, a roof, and a few nails to construct such a plaything."
"In your day, they didn’t have hot and cold running water, a toilet that really flushes, and a two car garage."
Bob glanced around the room once more and realized that a crucial element appeared to be missing. "Where is the diagram that you are working from?"
"The directions are in the box."
"Have you suddenly acquired the ability to see through solid objects?"
"Nope. Don't need 'em. How hard can this be? Sure, there's a lot of small stuff, but it's just a dollhouse."
"This from the wizard who still struggles to fashion a truly viable invisibility potion from eight basic ingredients."
"This isn't alchemy. It's a whole lot simpler, trust me. Fit slot-A into tab-B kind of stuff. A monkey could do it," said Harry with supreme confidence. "I'll have this beauty together in a couple of hours. Three at most. You just wait and see."
Clearly skeptical, Bob folded his arms across his chest. "So I shall."
~ ~ ~
Six hours later, Harry had managed to construct little more than a hollow lean-to with mismatched windows and a partial roof. The ordered chaos had long since exploded into piles of cluttered bits and pieces tossed aside or thrown into ragged piles.
"Do you see Part 216? I can't find Part 216."
"What do you imagine it to look like?"
"I'm not sure. I think it's part of the wainscoting. It's got to be the piece that holds this part of the roof in place."
"But you're not certain."
"No, but it's the only one that makes sense."
"If you would take a moment to consult-"
"I do NOT need the directions! I can do this!"
"Harry, there is no shame in-"
"NO!" he snapped irritably. "Just shut up and help me find the damned part, okay?
The ghost mutely nodded and began yet another fruitless search among the debris.
~ ~ ~
At the eleventh hour, just as the first rays of dawn began to peek through a dusty glass window, Harry Dresden flopped onto his back in exhaustion and cried uncle.
"It's impossible. IMPOSSIBLE! Whoever put this thing on the market is a sadist!"
"If I could-"
"DON'T say it! Okay? DON'T." Harry lifted his head to glare at the ghost through bleary eyes. "I'll say it." His head fell back onto the floor with a defeated thunk! "I should have read the frigging manual." He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Dammit. What am I going to tell Murph?"
Not entirely unsympathetic to Harry's plight, Bob said reasonably, "What if someone else were to read the diagram?"
Harry lifted his head again. "Huh?" he said eloquently.
"Would it assuage your bruised ego if I were to read the directions instead? In that way, technically, you may say that you had no need to consult them to accomplish the task and Miss Anna will have her gift in time for her party. The Lieutenant will be impressed."
"And I'll feel like a complete and utter ass." Harry wearily pushed himself into a sitting position and reached over to snag the empty cardboard box. "To hell with it," he said as he fished out the directions. "You were right, I was wrong."
Bob regarded Harry with amusement. "That may be the nicest thing you have ever said to me."
"You're welcome." Harry unfurled the large schematic. "Help me find Part 1A for Tab 2B…"