Ficlet: Meme: I, Claudius
For gehayi in response to the drabble ficlet meme.
Title: Distraction
Author: Cyloran
Fandom I, Claudius
Characters: Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus; Tiberius Claudius Narcissus
Words: 281
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. The muses belong to history and Robert Graves. Just passing through.
Tiberius Claudius Narcissus was so intent on watching the chamber door that he very nearly overfilled his master's wine cup.
"W-w-watch w-w-what you're about!" exclaimed the Emperor as he lifted a wrinkled hand to ward off the ewer and it's crimson tide.
"Sorry, sir!" The freedman snatched the vessel back just in time. "I'm very, very sorry," he said, bowing low.
"Oh do stop groveling. Just don't do it again."
"No sir. I'll take better care."
"See that you do. I'll have the peacock tongue with the olives next." Claudius slid the parchment he had been reading to the left, making room for his repast. "What did the taster say?"
"Too much garlic, not enough salt. The usual." Narcissus himself used a small silver utensil to fork a morsel for himself. "A hint of saffron, I think. The cook must have received a new spice shipment."
"He's always over seasoning." Claudius approved the dish with a wave. "And the eel in fish paste?"
"Perfection."
The Emperor nodded, as if that was to be expected. "It's the only reason I keep him. Otherwise I would have --- oh, w-w-will you s-s-STOP looking at the d-d-door? S-s-she won't get in!"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. I … I can't help it, sir." Narcissus shifted uncomfortably. "It's that howling!"
"You'll g-g-get used to it. I have."
"How?"
"She is my wife. It's my duty." Claudius shrugged. "And I have a secret remedy."
"A talisman? A spell to ward off evil spirits?"
The Emperor snorted. "A solid wooden door, guards, and linen to p-p-lug my ears." He pulled the dish of peacock tongues closer. "Thank the gods this Woman's Curse only occurs once a month!"
Title: Distraction
Author: Cyloran
Fandom I, Claudius
Characters: Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus; Tiberius Claudius Narcissus
Words: 281
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. The muses belong to history and Robert Graves. Just passing through.
Tiberius Claudius Narcissus was so intent on watching the chamber door that he very nearly overfilled his master's wine cup.
"W-w-watch w-w-what you're about!" exclaimed the Emperor as he lifted a wrinkled hand to ward off the ewer and it's crimson tide.
"Sorry, sir!" The freedman snatched the vessel back just in time. "I'm very, very sorry," he said, bowing low.
"Oh do stop groveling. Just don't do it again."
"No sir. I'll take better care."
"See that you do. I'll have the peacock tongue with the olives next." Claudius slid the parchment he had been reading to the left, making room for his repast. "What did the taster say?"
"Too much garlic, not enough salt. The usual." Narcissus himself used a small silver utensil to fork a morsel for himself. "A hint of saffron, I think. The cook must have received a new spice shipment."
"He's always over seasoning." Claudius approved the dish with a wave. "And the eel in fish paste?"
"Perfection."
The Emperor nodded, as if that was to be expected. "It's the only reason I keep him. Otherwise I would have --- oh, w-w-will you s-s-STOP looking at the d-d-door? S-s-she won't get in!"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. I … I can't help it, sir." Narcissus shifted uncomfortably. "It's that howling!"
"You'll g-g-get used to it. I have."
"How?"
"She is my wife. It's my duty." Claudius shrugged. "And I have a secret remedy."
"A talisman? A spell to ward off evil spirits?"
The Emperor snorted. "A solid wooden door, guards, and linen to p-p-lug my ears." He pulled the dish of peacock tongues closer. "Thank the gods this Woman's Curse only occurs once a month!"