[true_writers 28.B.4]
This response is set in the Earth!AU verse, and features AU!Leoben.
4. Your authority is worthless here.
I have recently begun work with the Earth Civil Corps of Engineers. And I am very grateful to have things to occupy my time during the day, and I am very good with engineering--it's all patterns, you see--but I'm afraid I'm not being very helpful. And it is not for lack of trying. It's simply because I'm a Cylon.
Unfortunately, my name is not easily forgettable. Sam asked me, one night when Kara was on recon patrol and it was just the two of us at home, why I chose the name "Leoben". I don't actually remember--I just liked the sound of it. And as an arms dealer, you need a somewhat distinctive name. Sam said that everyone would remember I was a Cylon, and I said that I didn't mind that, because I was a Cylon. What I am beginning to understand is that Sam means I will not be forgotten as one of those Cylons, who helped bring about the exodus from the Twelve Colonies, and he is right.
They do not care for me, very much, on the worksite. I have tried to offer my input but have been rejected on several occasions, so I have simply started fixing things that are wrong when I find them. Unfortunately, this has not gone over well, either; I've been accused of attempted sabotage in the event of another Cylon attack.
I tried to tell them the first target would not be the administrave complex's plumbing system or wiring housing, but no one believed me. Also, I'm afraid no one understands my sense of humor. Sam says it is my delivery, that I should learn to be more expressive. I'm afraid this is counter to my programming. I told him that and he laughed, but I wasn't necessarily joking.
I'm not particularly bothered by their ire--I expected it, to be honest. However, I found myself angry when they started discussing Kara and Sam in a less than flattering light. Kara has done nothing but put her life on the line to serve humanity, and indeed, they would be forever adrift in space were in not for her. I, however, am the reason they were set adrift in the first place. And somehow, Kara's actions are judged less worthy because of me. And I am apparently "converting" Sam into being "evil"--these men were fans of his, when he was a Pyramid player on Caprica. They don't like to think he had anything to do with the Attacks. They don't like to think he is anything like me.
I try to tell them that's he didn't, that he was unaware he was a Cylon until recently. I tell them he is nothing like me--which, despite us both being Cylons, is very true--but they do not want to hear it. I try telling them that I am simply trying to do what the rest of them are doing, which is to find something helpful to do and to have the life which God has seen fit to grant me. But they do not want to hear words like this. And I begin to wonder if it is always my destiny to speak things and be ignored, to speak truth to those who refuse to hear it.
It's very frustrating. I would accept their anger and mistrust of me as understandable though a bit shortsighted, considering my part in the Cylon war and the fact I have been pardoned by the Admiral himself. I am constantly wary of someone swinging something heavy at my head, so I'm ever on guard. I would like to do more than fixing wires and re-routing plumbing, but my more abstract suggestions are dismissed out of hand. I must have patience, I understand this. But I do hope they stop with the personal attacks on Kara and Sam.
I would hit a lot harder than they do, and I don't think anyone wants that.
4. Your authority is worthless here.
I have recently begun work with the Earth Civil Corps of Engineers. And I am very grateful to have things to occupy my time during the day, and I am very good with engineering--it's all patterns, you see--but I'm afraid I'm not being very helpful. And it is not for lack of trying. It's simply because I'm a Cylon.
Unfortunately, my name is not easily forgettable. Sam asked me, one night when Kara was on recon patrol and it was just the two of us at home, why I chose the name "Leoben". I don't actually remember--I just liked the sound of it. And as an arms dealer, you need a somewhat distinctive name. Sam said that everyone would remember I was a Cylon, and I said that I didn't mind that, because I was a Cylon. What I am beginning to understand is that Sam means I will not be forgotten as one of those Cylons, who helped bring about the exodus from the Twelve Colonies, and he is right.
They do not care for me, very much, on the worksite. I have tried to offer my input but have been rejected on several occasions, so I have simply started fixing things that are wrong when I find them. Unfortunately, this has not gone over well, either; I've been accused of attempted sabotage in the event of another Cylon attack.
I tried to tell them the first target would not be the administrave complex's plumbing system or wiring housing, but no one believed me. Also, I'm afraid no one understands my sense of humor. Sam says it is my delivery, that I should learn to be more expressive. I'm afraid this is counter to my programming. I told him that and he laughed, but I wasn't necessarily joking.
I'm not particularly bothered by their ire--I expected it, to be honest. However, I found myself angry when they started discussing Kara and Sam in a less than flattering light. Kara has done nothing but put her life on the line to serve humanity, and indeed, they would be forever adrift in space were in not for her. I, however, am the reason they were set adrift in the first place. And somehow, Kara's actions are judged less worthy because of me. And I am apparently "converting" Sam into being "evil"--these men were fans of his, when he was a Pyramid player on Caprica. They don't like to think he had anything to do with the Attacks. They don't like to think he is anything like me.
I try to tell them that's he didn't, that he was unaware he was a Cylon until recently. I tell them he is nothing like me--which, despite us both being Cylons, is very true--but they do not want to hear it. I try telling them that I am simply trying to do what the rest of them are doing, which is to find something helpful to do and to have the life which God has seen fit to grant me. But they do not want to hear words like this. And I begin to wonder if it is always my destiny to speak things and be ignored, to speak truth to those who refuse to hear it.
It's very frustrating. I would accept their anger and mistrust of me as understandable though a bit shortsighted, considering my part in the Cylon war and the fact I have been pardoned by the Admiral himself. I am constantly wary of someone swinging something heavy at my head, so I'm ever on guard. I would like to do more than fixing wires and re-routing plumbing, but my more abstract suggestions are dismissed out of hand. I must have patience, I understand this. But I do hope they stop with the personal attacks on Kara and Sam.
I would hit a lot harder than they do, and I don't think anyone wants that.