Over.
A lot of feelings floating around tonight. Sadness, doubt, anger, confusion, regret. I feel naive. Like I didn't truly know the woman I was in love with the last few years of my life.
I pushed and pushed and it seems the truth has come out.
Danielle isn't looking for a family. She does not want to settle down and would not move with me, figuratively or geographically, wherever I may end up. I decided this isn't what I want, isn't what I need.
I want someone to come home to and spend my time with at the end of the day. I want to share memories of a home with someone and discuss the day's events with my girl in bed at night. This is where we differed. She doesn't want or care for any of this. I just can't believe I never saw that. I feel stupid.
I decided that I love her despite all of this, but will never be happy. I love her very much, but I don't want to sacrifice my happiness and 10 years down the road have it be the same. Own a home and have a successful career and a girl that I love in a separate apartment so she can maintain her freedom. That isn't my dream.
Right now I can't help but be angry at her. I wish this wasn't the case, because this is a time I could really use my best friend.
I hoped. I hoped things would change.
So I'll be sad for now. Eventually that will change.
I never thought I would have to say goodbye her. Not her. And I defiantly didn't think it would be because I loved her so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, make my family with her. It just seems so... unfair.
I lost a piece of myself today. It hurts.
I pushed and pushed and it seems the truth has come out.
Danielle isn't looking for a family. She does not want to settle down and would not move with me, figuratively or geographically, wherever I may end up. I decided this isn't what I want, isn't what I need.
I want someone to come home to and spend my time with at the end of the day. I want to share memories of a home with someone and discuss the day's events with my girl in bed at night. This is where we differed. She doesn't want or care for any of this. I just can't believe I never saw that. I feel stupid.
I decided that I love her despite all of this, but will never be happy. I love her very much, but I don't want to sacrifice my happiness and 10 years down the road have it be the same. Own a home and have a successful career and a girl that I love in a separate apartment so she can maintain her freedom. That isn't my dream.
Right now I can't help but be angry at her. I wish this wasn't the case, because this is a time I could really use my best friend.
I hoped. I hoped things would change.
So I'll be sad for now. Eventually that will change.
I never thought I would have to say goodbye her. Not her. And I defiantly didn't think it would be because I loved her so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, make my family with her. It just seems so... unfair.
I lost a piece of myself today. It hurts.