Poor little rich boy

[cykochica]

There's like thoughts
Thoughts that are real vague
Like normal upbringings and how swell they are, but then how dumb I think they are, how unrealistic they are, and how unwilling I am to give some child that sort of upbringing so far off day.
There's a thought of luck in that I was never abused. I can be relatively effective because I wasn't.
But then there's the thought of, "GOOD GOD, was it so bad that I can take joy only in the lack of abuse."
There's the thought of how happy it makes me that it makes her so happy to do things for us.
I wonder why I get these thoughts like this.
Oh ya, there's the thought of whether he cares.
Because I know I do. I know I left it still with love.
I know other relationships that did not end like that. And it nearly takes my breath away to wonder if there to this day is no caring.
I wonder if it was just a lack of coping, or if wrong doings were so big that the love could not be repaired for them.
Hmm.

I don't talk to Mario much about serious things, maybe I can run my thoughts by him.
He may make fun though.
I'll run the risk.