in the worst things?
the speed at which things are moving is something i don't know how to measure.
i'm trying to make this trip work out right, i'm trying to figure out what's going on, and i feel like a jackass already just trying to do so, and in actually getting anywhere and giving out the information i need to give out and receiving the information i need, i feel like i'm being made to feel like more of a jackass. it sucks, sucks, sucks, and it's discouraging in general.
my nerves jingle jangle, and they did before, but not like this: i'm worried. i hate being worried. the last time i got excited about this trip, things came crashing down real quick and my heart was thrashed apart. hell, of the last few times i've gotten really excited about anything, five will get you ten my heart was thrashed apart. (negative thinking won't get me anywhere?)
i'm just going out of my skull a little bit. and in trying to keep myself inside myself, i feel like an ass. goddammit. now i'm repeating myself. words aren't helping, and i'm getting the idea that if i try, sleep won't be coming. i'm not even sure what kind of idea this is anymore.
this is not what i want to be writing, not how i want to be writing it. blah blah blah the end.
i'm trying to make this trip work out right, i'm trying to figure out what's going on, and i feel like a jackass already just trying to do so, and in actually getting anywhere and giving out the information i need to give out and receiving the information i need, i feel like i'm being made to feel like more of a jackass. it sucks, sucks, sucks, and it's discouraging in general.
my nerves jingle jangle, and they did before, but not like this: i'm worried. i hate being worried. the last time i got excited about this trip, things came crashing down real quick and my heart was thrashed apart. hell, of the last few times i've gotten really excited about anything, five will get you ten my heart was thrashed apart. (negative thinking won't get me anywhere?)
i'm just going out of my skull a little bit. and in trying to keep myself inside myself, i feel like an ass. goddammit. now i'm repeating myself. words aren't helping, and i'm getting the idea that if i try, sleep won't be coming. i'm not even sure what kind of idea this is anymore.
this is not what i want to be writing, not how i want to be writing it. blah blah blah the end.